Why is it that the nicest girls often end up with the biggest scum bags ever?

Why is it that the nicest girls, being some of the best thing this world has to offer, often end up with the biggest scum bags ever?


Most Helpful Girl

  • bc the scum bags are often the only ones with the guts to flirt with her, ask her out, act manly around her, etc.

    the nice guys usually think she's out of their league, aren't confident enough to show a fun personality around her, come off as way too needy or self-pitying, are too scared to ask her out, expect her to initiate everything, act like a doormat around her, put her on a pedestal, use weird creepy passive aggressive tactics to try to get her to like them, disregard her desire to be physically attracted to a guy (and therefore just call her shallow when she's not into them because they don't work out etc), oh I could go on and on :/

    but the bottom line is, most girls don't WANT a scumbag, but we end up with them because we'd rather date a guy who we are physically and emotionally attracted to than a guy we are NOT attracted to. is that so hard to understand?

    i mean, we're not attracted to their badness, we're attracted to their confidence and looks. it's just that most bad guys tend to be confident where most nice guys aren't.

    i find it extremely hypocritical of a lot of guys to call hot girls shallow for wanting hot guys, when these guys who don't work out, get cool haircuts, dress cool, and act confident aren't doing anything to make themselves hot, yet expect these hot confident girls (who often put plenty of time and effort into their own appearance, physique, clothes, makeup, hair, and personality) to want them!

    The truth is, what we want is a nice, confident, hot guy, but when we can't find one, we settle for 2 our of 3. We'd rather have a hot confident mean guy than a nice ugly insecure guy.

    And until the insecure ugly nice guys stop going for the confident hot girls, then they have no right to complain.


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What Girls Said 3

  • I am the nicest girl in my school (literally) and I only get asked out by dbags because they're the only ones that go for me. I don't know why, but nice guys just don't have the confidence enough to maybe initiate something. I don't want to end up with a jerk. I honestly don't care about your outer appearance more of your personality and stuff. I guess people just don't understand that, and think I won't go for them. Some people might be attracted to the 'bad boys' (personality wise) because they are not boring, wild, and are unpredictable. Maybe they want to change them, or just try it for fun. I'm not sure. Good question, but I wish it wasn't so!

  • Girls want a guy that is exciting to get their heart racing. A lot of girls like that feeling that maybe the guy is dangerous and sadly the most exciting ones sometimes turn out to be scum bags.

    • Why are girls so obsessed with excitment? Don't any of them just like to chill out and be with a chill guy?

    • I don't know, maybe because we want excitment in our lives. And yes I would love to just chill out with a guy but he must be an exciting guy. If we find an exciting guy that is not a scum bag then we have so much to look forward to. We know that we are less likely to get bored and we can expect things like a surprise tip to some place. We don't want to loose those butterfy feelings we get in our stomach and an exciting guy just gives us that.

    • Sigh...I'm gonna die alone.

  • We get attracted to assholes :)


What Guys Said 5

  • 1. many immature girls have an idiot fantasy of taming the bad boy. mature, grown-up women don't have this fantasy ... but it's common amongst females whose emotional development was frozen in middle school. (my opinion is that such emotional stunting is more common among women, who have fewer incentives to mature than men do ... men are expected to be stoical, hardworking strong and silent, but women are expected to be flighty and erratic, meaning that women often get a pass on idiotic, selfish behavior that would be considered shameful in a man)

    2. sometimes people are insecure and prefer their spouse/partner to be a dominating personality who makes all the decision. this can apply to both sexes.

  • All of the other answers are correct.. But honestly most of those guys aren't scumbags, they just make mistakes. Those are the kind of people that like extreme lives, as in they are really happy or really sad, very nice or a total d***. It sounds to me like your crush is with a guy that you don't like (probably for that reason). Usually you only hear about when they are being jerks because most of the time they are extremely good to them.. It's just the price you pay. I say this because of experience as one of those "Scumbag guys" and yeah the only people who think that are the guys that want my girlfriend lol..

  • Because those guys have what she doesn't, and it makes her moist to think about it.

    • What the hell are you talking about. If you really think that girls want guys like that because we are lacking something they have then you are delusional.

    • Spontaneity, rebellion against authority (and the confidence to do so), danger/living on the edge, the feeling of never knowing what tomorrow is going to bring with him. Yes, that is why they're liked.

  • Girls are emotionally stupid.

    • No really, they are logically stupid but emotionally right on

    • Show All
    • Haha. I'm not trying to just be straight up rude towards girls. Just saying there emotions cause them to do dumb things.

    • Saying a typical drama queen isn't emotionally stupid is like saying a heroin addict isn't stupid because he's enjoying the most powerful high.

  • To women boredom is worse than death, they thrive off emotional stimulation and for all the bad things scum bags are they have little problem taking women on an emotional roller coaster.

    Given the choice between a scum bag who can create emotion and a cool guy that can create emotion they would choose the cool guy with all the good and none of the bad, it's just that there are not that many cool guys around, most guys are either bat sh*t crazy or complete nerdy nice guys so most women are not given much of a choice, further more a lot of women who look nice on the outside are f***ed up inside so even the cool guys will avoid them