my boyfriend has been doing this lately, but in a negative way. he's told them I was a pms ing bitch after we've argued. he doesn't go to them for advice, he does it for validation
Most Helpful Guy
if he exclusively shit talks about you, that is a bad sign... if he talks about how great you are on the other days, maybe they are just a normal friend at this point... the longer they had been apart, and farther apart they lived physically, the less threatening i would find that to be... i can think of one person i have been with that i might do that with, but a big part of why i would feel comfortable doing it is that they would respect my obligations to be faithful, and not push my boundaries...
Most Helpful Girl
Personally, that would be a dealbreaker for me. That would show he had a stronger bond with his ex than with me.
If we have issues within the relationship , or if he was annoyed with me, or whatever, he should feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it.
It would be a red flag if my boyfriend felt comfortable talking to an ex behind my back. I'd view it as disloyal. It's crossing one of my relationship boundaries