Should you talk to your ex's about your current relationship?

is it okay to vent to your ex if your still friends with him/her?

my boyfriend has been doing this lately, but in a negative way. he's told them I was a pms ing bitch after we've argued. he doesn't go to them for advice, he does it for validation

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Most Helpful Guy

  • if he exclusively shit talks about you, that is a bad sign... if he talks about how great you are on the other days, maybe they are just a normal friend at this point... the longer they had been apart, and farther apart they lived physically, the less threatening i would find that to be... i can think of one person i have been with that i might do that with, but a big part of why i would feel comfortable doing it is that they would respect my obligations to be faithful, and not push my boundaries...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, that would be a dealbreaker for me. That would show he had a stronger bond with his ex than with me.

    If we have issues within the relationship , or if he was annoyed with me, or whatever, he should feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it.

    It would be a red flag if my boyfriend felt comfortable talking to an ex behind my back. I'd view it as disloyal. It's crossing one of my relationship boundaries

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What Girls & Guys Said

526
  • I used to go to a girl i wanted to date to vent about my relationship. We've never dated to this day but guess what? I bet if she was my ex we would have fucked. An ex is a threat. A new person. A random. A good friend that makes you nervous. Cool. An ex... no no no. That shouldn't happen.

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  • if he's going to his ex to vent about you... then their problem. Red flags... red flags... everwhere.

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  • In my opinion no I mean why would you talk to an ex? I mean it’s called an ex cause you broke up I wouldn’t talk to them at all & no never about relationships

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  • Hell to the no. An ex has ulterior motives and they are not a neutral party.

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  • It means that he still has feelings for her and he's using you as a way to validate himself. What I mean by this is that he's trying to set himself as a victim and force that maternal loving part of the woman's nature in his ex to start telling him to break it off with you and then to get back together with her. Its a long game hail Mary attempt at getting her back without actually trying to get her back. Its like still working at one job but putting in an application/appeal at the job you were just fired from.

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  • In my experience it is impossible to be friends with your ex. Tread carefully

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  • Probably not a good idea, depends on how good of friends you are and if there is any chance they could twist things to try and get back with you.

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  • What? No. Why in earth would someone do that?

    Time to bail girl.

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  • Absolutely not. They letting the ex know the current situation sucks and leaving the door open for any golden opportunity

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  • They will probably think you are teasing them or trying to make them jealous. Don't take the risk.

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  • As a rule no. If you've just started dating someone new AND you've stayed good friends with an ex I guess that is fine, but if I started seeing someone AND we've been together a while and are starting to get serious than I do not want her hanging out a lot with and ex and definitely talking to him about what goes on between us. Maybe if I'm the new guy and she's got a long relationship with this other guy I'll know my place but once we start getting serious, if there is some ex hanging around then I'll just bolt. That's not the situation I want for myself so I wouldn't settle.

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  • You shouldn't be talking to your ex unless you are single and seeking a relationship with them again.

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  • It's disrespectful to go to you ex, and complain about your gf/bd.

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  • Hell no! Exes being friends brings unneeded bullshit. Super red flag!

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  • I have talked to my ex’s about it but I am still friends with my ex’s.

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  • I'd have to vent too if I was dating a "pms ing bitch" lol. Poor bloke

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  • That’s NOT okay!

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  • This is the worst idea I've ever heard

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  • Uh, don't do that. That's not a good idea hun.

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  • Hell no

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  • Not only no but fuck no. Never talk to an ex

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  • i wouldn't do it, im pretty secretive

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  • no cuz it's rude

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  • Sure iron out the wrinkles

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  • no that's weird

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  • yes...

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  • I suppose you could if you you’re still friends like that

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  • Most likely not a good idea. What is it with people who can't let going of their ex?

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  • talk about my current relationship to my ex? i wouldn't talk to my ex about the weather

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  • HAHAHAHAH STILL FRIENDS HAHAHAHAAHH LOL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

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  • Nope, I would not want to hear about my ex’s new relationship

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