I say unhealthy because Im actually beginning destructive impulsive behaviors like binge drinking and wanting to bed with random guys. I have such an emptiness inside that no one seems to understand. Some days I wake up so lonely in my single life, that I've thought of killing myself. My friends are married, have kids and are dating, but I dont know what to do. I feel attractive but lately I've been depressed that I can't even look men in the face.
This is the only problem I've ever had that pushes me to want to die. Had such a vague relationship with my mother so I never feel worthwhile enough for men. I guess where she lacked in love, affection and validation, I seek these things in a partner. But I've been so insecure for so long :(
Should I seek some help or just take a chance with a hookup?
Most Helpful Girl
It's good that you are starting to realize that your obsession with being in a relationship is negatively affecting you. Like you said, the issue is that you "never feel worthwhile enough to men". If you were to get into a relationship right now, some of your anxiety might be temporarily relieved, but the underlying issue would eventually crop up again and cause problems in the relationship. I suggest finding a therapist to help you deal with these issues. You can't have a healthy relationship with someone else if you yourself aren't healthy (dealt with most of your issues) when going into it.
Most Helpful Guy
You seek companionship because you are not truly happy with yourself. You feel some sort of part of you missing. Since you have been focussing on having a relationship for so long you haven't actually gotten to find yourself and know who you are. You aren't in a relationahip because guys can tell you aren't ready. Take time and focus on yourself for you, not to please someone you don't know.
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