Should I totally quit dating and accept a lonely single life?

I’ve been single for four years.

I gave a break for two years after my long relationship to understand, and improve myself, focus on my education and career and travel.

when I was ready about two years ago, i started using dating apps, websites, going on blinddates through friends, trying to meet people in dofferent places.

nothing work out.

It is always guys only want sex on the second day we go on date.

I dated one for 9 months only to find out i was cheated on with 4 girls and he said he used me for sex.

i quit dating deleted all the profiles on apps.

I will turn to 28 in two weeks, i am very old to be a single woman. Should i give up and accept this lonely life with no family? Nothing is working out must be a message for me to quit trying. What do you think?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't give up on yourself. It's tough, tough as hell sometimes, and it gets harder to put yourself out there, easy to feel wounded and even scarred by experiences like that. The alternative is dismal at best. The best salve is to reframe your perspective, to create a new paradigm.

    Being honest, you should simultaneously acknowledge the value of societal wisdom (being older and single as a bad or potentially bad thing) and throw those same values out of the window, as they apply broadly and not to yourself.

    I suggest breaking free of the paradigm that you must be attached to someone, that you must have a family right now, or even soon, for that matter. There's nothing wrong with being single at any age. There are a few good books by female authors that have a really good take on it.

    Finally, I would add that your situation has a lot of silver lining. You're well established and have your shit together, you're educated and have career underway. If you have been taking care of yourself, you've got a natural appeal to the other half out there, and if you haven't, that a great place to start. It's also good that you've given apps, sites and other things a try. If at all possible I would encourage you to find someone in a similar or complementary career to your own

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you are meeting the wrong type of guys (there are a lot of creeps out there). Keep trying! I'm 31 and recently single again. There are great guys out there, you just have to find them.

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    • I've also come to learn that I can be happy without a man in my life. Most of friends my age are already divorced and have a really fucked up life.

    • I am happy? No doubt. I am used to doing everything by myself, i am strong and independent, i am happy i can move from here to there for my career or for vacation without thinking of kids or a husband. But i feel stressed out because of my friends all married expecting first or second kida

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What Girls & Guys Said

012
  • The universe loathes a quitter. And positive thoughts attracts positive outcomes. You're only 28 ... yes, ONLY 28. I can't emphasize how important it is to keep your thoughts positive and draw what you want to you. If you "think" you don't deserve something good, you'll attract something that isn't good. I'm not making this up... it's a universal Law.

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    • I have been very positive, and never been a quitter in any other part of my life. I am just tired of trying, all the futile fruitless efforts to be dumped or said that they dont think we should date even without knowing me on second date

    • Show All
    • It is really not quitting. I am tired of putting efforts into people and not getting anywhere. You keep doing thins because you have hopes and some positive outcome. i do have zero and i started having connfidence problems since a week as even a cheater friend of mine got a proposal and posted on fb and what am i lacking? did i have to cheat on all of my boyfriends and sleep with everyone to be marriage quality? Do you get my frustrations a little bit?

    • I understand your frustrations perfectly... really. Ok, so how's this... give up. Tell everyone, including your family, friends, students, anyone and everyone, to just back off and let you live your life. You're done looking for dates, men, potential husbands, all of it. You're done. Do it, but really do it. Put your heart into doing it. Then wait... and tell me what happens :)

  • The right person will come your way in the right moment do not worry. Uiu will have an insanely good marriage since you didn't experience much dating. People say dating prepares mariage. I say dating prepares divorce.

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    • I went on a lot of first and second dates but inhad only two long term relationships and only 2 sex partners, i am not that inexperienced bu neither am i experienced at all. I dont want divorce either

    • You will have a good mariage then. But you must be patient and accepting what life has to offer. And go for marriage next time make a family its what mattera the most in this life

  • I can't imagine dating apps are a good place to meet people into relationships.

    Keep your eyes open. You're not even close to too old. Date people you have a connection with. Hobbies, sports, that sort of thing. Go out and meet people. And when one of them seems really intriguing, date them

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  • You are not old to be single. Just let it come spontaneously , don't force it. Try to relax and find a way to stay busy. It's unfortunate that guys keeping acting like kids

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  • Never give up, but stop looking and the right one will find you :)

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    • How will he find if i dont put any effort?

    • Coz you might be looking in the wrong places, lots of guys on dating apps etc want sex not a relationship

  • No way! You just haven't met the right guy. No reason to give up

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    • I am scared tk be like my oldeer sister who is 34 and still single and men treat her like shite even though she is attractive and very successful MD and she is very well mannered. I dont say it because she is my sister, but that’s true. Whoever she goes out with always claims she is too old to marry.

    • How old is your sister?

    • 34 this year

  • I think you need to find peace with yourself. There is no timeline saying you need to be at a certain part of your life for certain things to happen.
    My last relationship ended 12/28/10. I just been focusing on myself. Building my car, building a house. Trying to get to a point in my life where I can relax and live in content. I work 110+ hours a week 7 days a week and travel all over the US. I dont have much time to reflects it doesn't bother me much. I have my days but then priorities kick in. You can always be worse off.
    Realise your in a good spot. Could be in a shit-tastic marriage with kids.

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  • No you're just down right now. look don't force it. put up the work but don't force. am sure you can do it. i can give you an as if you want.

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  • No just wait, the right one will come along at the right time don't sell yourself short though wait for the right opportunity

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  • Not if you think a single life has to mean lonliness.

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  • Don't be silly.

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  • You and gager NewYear-NewMe should get together.

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