Is my boyfriend controlling?

Me and my boyfriend have been together since October last year. It was fine, up until Christmas, he was accusing me of cheating, said something if any guys like my pictures (now girls like his and compliment him), if I added or accepted anyone’s friends requests, he would ask how did I know them. I deleted Snapchat cause of how he constantly accused me of sending nudes, pictures and chatted up people (I reactivated it recently, just to find out why my friend blocked me, but she hasn’t said why), he knows when I was on it, he even says the same thing when I get Instagram likes on pictures. I’ve deleted every photo of myself off Instagram and only post like plush toys, anime things, drawings, my cat and game pictures. I’ve deleted every photo containing myself on Facebook too. Cause he said something about guys liking my pictures. Girls like his photos on both social media’s, he has his Snapchat and hasn’t uninstalled it or anything. I told him that my patience is running thin and I’m starting not to quite care about what he does, who he talks to and hangs out with. He apologises, then goes straight back to saying I’m chatting up people, I’m getting to the point I’m going to delete Facebook in a few weeks, I don’t accuse him. Cause I find it disrespectful, but he accuses me. Even if I walk to the store with my mum, he thinks I’m using that as a excuse to meet up with other guys. What should I do?
Updates:
#1. I just noticed more unusual behaviour from him too. If I’m on Facebook until a bit after 12am, he asks why and says that I’m up till 3am. If anyone follows me on Instagram (I had 182 followers, now I have 191) he asked who they were (5 are girls, some random dude I don’t even know and 3 are shopping pages). He even asked about Twitter by saying “you had like 400 followers and now you don’t (I’ve never had that many followers) even if I follow someone on Instagram he asks who they were.
#2. My mum told me to reactivate Snapchat so she can send me silly photos. All of my friends on there are females and if I am on it he will Facebook audio or video call me and say “you were on Snapchat 30 minutes ago (or how many minutes/hours ago I was on there) who were you chatting up and why can’t I see your story (I haven’t posted on there I’m not game too)” I said to him “I actually feel really uncomfortable you doing it and it feels kind of stalkerish” he tried to assure me its not

0|0
814

Most Helpful Guy

  • Dump this guy. He has total control over you. Because of your boyfriend, you deactivated Snapchat and you're contemplating deleting more social media. He doesn't want you having friends, he's accusing you of things with no evidence or even a reason to have a hunch. Why should your life go on like this? What other freedoms are you going to lose?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don’t play online gaming anymore (he does on Xbox one and plays it everyday. Even when I visit him and plays a game that his apart of a clan on and does raids). The clan his in has 2 girls on there and his friended them on Facebook. Cause I heard 1 of the girls mention his Facebook page and something he posted/said to her. I used to play it all the time, now if I play COD he Facebook video rings me. To be sure i am playing the game or not. But I’ve been playing Mario kart 7 online. His offered to let me use his wifi on my 3ds. As long as I don’t get on Facebook with it. I like to read manga and he will sometimes make me put them away or distract me when I am drawing

    • Show All
    • Ditto that, the guy sounds massively insecure and controlling, two reasons he may be a cheater. His insecurity will make him jump at the chance of validation as soon as someone else pays interest in him, his controlling paranoid side is a good indicator he thinks other people are doing what he does. Get away, for your own sanity.

    • @Schnitzel his told me he is insecure and paranoid and said it was a ex’s fault for being paranoid and insecure. He said something about her chatting up guys behind his back while he gamed. I game too, but since his been paranoid lately and even paranoid over me gaming. I don’t enjoy it like I used too. I’m not paranoid by any means and I’ve told him that. I trust until someone does themselves in, then I don’t trust them nor talk to them. I’m a kid at heart and if I do anything kid like behaviour (like jumping in puddles, wearing silly things at the markets in the town he lives in or generally be silly) he tells me to stop and tells me to act normal. That it’s embarrassing and he feels like a creep. Cause everyone looks at me. I don’t even wear my pikachu beanie cause he said it’s childish and people give me weird looks and looks at him. Even when I used to admire him. He would tell me to stop cause he got paranoid

Most Helpful Girl

  • He is a hypocrite, if he expects you to delete pictures and social media accounts he should do the same. You should demand he do all the things he expects you to do. What else can you do? He is controlling everything you do and you're just obeying him without even questioning what him and what he does.

    0|0
    0|0
    • When i deactivated Snapchat. Then reactivated it to find out why my friend blocked me on Facebook (she still didn’t say and I wasn’t home nor had wifi when she did, perhaps she deactivated Facebook or something) he said to me “you reactivated your Snapchat. After you told me you deactivated, you lied to me” no matter how many times I told him that I activated it to see why my friend blocked or possibly deleted her Facebook. He still asked. Like if he wanted to real reason or something. But even after deactivating it. He still had his

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

713
  • He's abusive. You should run! away from him!

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yes he is controlling. It's a very negative influence. My advice would be to leave him and find someone who treats you better. A relationship can't go anywhere without trust and his controlling attitude shows lack of trust.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I ask him (after his accused me of chatting up guys) if he trusts me and he always respends with “I do, I just don’t trust other guys. I know what they are like”. But I know it’s me he doesn’t trust and his trying to sugarcoat it so I don’t get upset over it. He made me
      Unfriend a guy off my Facebook I’ve known since I was 15 and they class me as their little sister (I do have a biological brother, but his a dooshe). When mentioning of girls he says “I’m not unfriending them. I’ve known them for a long time/since school”. After him saying that. I added my friend back and explained what happened. He understands and told me not to let this dude stand over me. Give it back to Him. But I can’t, I feel bad

  • Very controlling, to the point that it look like a sign he may be an emotionally abusive person. I don’t know how you feel about him or how long you’ve been dating but when someone truly loves and respects you they will not question the things you do already like social media or going places.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You already know the answer. Clearly you just told us about his controlling behavior and that you're unhappy so why do you put up with it? If you're not happy then you need to take whatever actions will make you happy, wether that's telling him to stop being a prick or breaking up is up to you but I feel like you already know.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He's either cheating and feeling guilty over it or is too insecure for a relationship. I think he needs to work on his trust issues before he goes into a comitted relationship, if he can't work it out, dump him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like an insecure little bitch. It's none of his business if you're talking to other guys, sending nudes or cheating. He doesn't own you. If you're going to get accused of it so much then take advantage and fuck another guy you like who likes your stuff on social media. Pm me if you wanna talk about it

    0|0
    0|0
    • I have no other guys on my Facebook to talk to and none on my Snapchat. I don’t send nude photos, message other guys or cheat. I dont have a guy I like. I did a while ago. But I had no idea he was on hard drugs and with his ex. I felt terrible after finding out. But I haven’t seen him since. So I really don’t have anyone I like or anything

  • 4 months? And he has you changing your way of life? Imagine in 4 years, you will be a shell of your former self.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Girl you need to gently end it with him and stop all contact, controlling men get worse when you don’t stop it right at the beginning when they show signs. Unless he gets help on his own he will be like this with all girls :(

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you have to ask, then you know on some level that the answer is yes.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He obviously wants you to move in so he can watch you 24/7.

    0|0
    0|0
    • My cat wouldn’t like that. Unfortunately she hates males. Hates the ground they walk on and death stares them if they are near me (she done it to one of my ex, if he laid on me. Cuddling me. She would death stare him or death stare him if he came over, he told my mum what she was doing. It’s not my problem. It’s how my cat is) even with having my partner over one time, she wouldn’t come into me room or look at him. I should consider being like my cat 😅

  • He needs to see an expert. A dr can refer him. But he first has to realise he has a control problem. If he won't seek help dump him

    0|0
    0|0
  • It sounds like he's insecure. You should probably leave him.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sounds insecure, also I one time had cheated on a partner and felt as if they were as well, but in another situation they were.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Get away. That is not just controlling but mentally abusive

    0|0
    0|0
    • Seriously, you are end to break up with him before he starts hitting you or grabbing you. I have seen this behavior before

  • I was in a similar situation. I deleted all social media because of a controlling girlfriend. I am not a jealous person, but the insecurities she had transferred onto me in a sense... i began questioning all the likes she would receive on social media and analyzing way more than was necessary. My advice is to discontinue the steps you are currently taking (no longer posting pictures of yourself) until your partner reciprocates the standard he seems to hold you to. Just to clarify, this is the easier step. The harder, and possibly more effective, step that will lead to a longer, healthier relationship is to confront the insecurities he is potraying in a non-confrontational way. While this may sound contradictory, i simply mean you should make him feel as if anyone of those "other guys" liking your picture are meaningless to you and that he has nothing to worry about. Goodluck. The jealous kinds cause much mental turmoil

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dump him

    0|0
    0|0
  • Stay or leave

    0|0
    0|0
  • your boyfriend is controlling

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh my God! if you want I beat your boyfriend

    0|0
    0|0
  • This sounds exhausting. You’re still young enough to meet someone new. Think it over..

    0|0
    0|0
    • I’m 20 and his 31. I thought if I dated someone a lot older then me (I’ve only dated 3 guys, my first was 18/19 and I was 15/16 when we dated. My second was 19 and I was 17 and my 3rd was 22/23 I forgot his age. But he was in his early 20s and I was 19) they would be a lot more mature. All 3 of my ex’s were childish, cheaters and down right rude to me and everyone around them. My last ex was rude and Paranoid. But never acted like this

    • He definitely isn’t mature. Age doesn’t magically make people grow up, unfortunately.

Recommended myTakes

Loading...