What are your experiences with online dating?

I've tried online dating once before and it wasn't that bad (met a few people). My only problem was that my inbox was flooded with messages. What are your experiences with online dating??

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  • I understand that, at my age, dating is a different world than it is for you. I do not have that many opportunities to meet women who would be available for dating. I know women from work and from church and both of those groups are off limits (for the same reason.) I don't hang out in bars or clubs.

    I have met between 30-40 women online who I have at least met once in person. I worked at developing my profile and when I saw a woman who was attractive, I actually read her profile. If I was still interested, I wrote a message to her that revealed that I had actually read her profile.

    I got responses to maybe 25% of my messages. Of those who did respond, some did not seem very interested and I did not pursue them. Of those who I did eventually meet, maybe 30-40% were promising enough to have a second date.

    I met my ex-wife online. She is a good person and our divorce was unrelated to the way that we met. I dated a woman for two years who I met online. We eventually went our separate ways but she, too is a good woman and our breakup was not related to meeting online.

    You don't DATE people online. You MEET people online. The you arrange a meeting. Once you meet face-to-face, it is not different from any other dating. Very few relationships will work long-term, we eventually realize that and break up, and we start looking again. And eventually you meet The One and you stop looking.

    Some online dating sites (like POF) are free, so what's the downside of trying it? It is NOT for losers; it is just a way to peruse eligible people in your area, screen out the obvious mismatches, and apply your efforts to people with whom you have a little better chance of finding a LTR.

    If online dating doesn't work for you, don't blame online dating. One source says that about 20% of current, committed relationships began online. Maybe you are doing something that you think is great but it is turning off the opposite sex when they read your profile. The really important question is: does traditional dating work better for you than online dating?

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  • I've made more (female) friends (2) out of it so far than any relationships (0).

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  • I had two or three experiences. No dates. I'd contact a few women, never heard back from most of them. That's to be expected.

    The few who wrote to me wrote very short messages... I'd respond... then they'd respond, and it'd be even shorter (Oh, and it'd take a week to respond). So I'd write... and would get an even shorter response. And that took a few weeks to get. I'd respond, then it'd get and even shorter response, and would take 4 weeks. So after several weeks/months of writing, and getting shorter answers each time... I gave up. No hard feelings, but I'm not going to write to someone who seems that uninterested, especially from the start. It feels like pulling teeth just to get girls to respond, even if I know them.

    I've considered it, especially in the last few months, as my social circle is pretty small (and most of those girls don't want to be bothered knowing me), but some of these dating sites are pretty expensive for my tastes... and $40-60 a month just to get ignored or rejected... I'm not really interested in spending that kind of money at the moment, just to get nowhere in one or two conversations.

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  • Only tried it once when I was around 20. That was a long time ago so it was during the beginnings of chatting (IRC) and meeting people over the Internet. We shared a couple of pictures in which mine was quite faithful to reality, and hers was not.

    She told me she was 16, blonde and did kick boxing. I expected something really astonishing, but because I was distrustful I asked one male friend of mine to come with me to the first encounter.

    She was not at all like the description, neither the pic. She was big, very big, like Arnie wearing a skirt. Oh yes she was strong, but very far away from the sterotype of attractiveness that we have nowadays (and by then too).

    Good I had my male friend with me, as we pretended to be a gay couple (we kissed quickly in the lips twice to show her).

    Ever since I realized that Internet dating is tricky and complicated. I didn't want to hurt her feelings due to the fact her physical appearance was not attractive to me (overmore, it was scary, she was fairly stronger than me). I learnt that whenever I want to meet a woman whom triggered my interest over the Internet, it had to be in a public place with more people and friends around. Also, I'm not the sort of person who needs to resort to the Internet dating as in REAL life, I'm quite efficient at flirting (or was, I'm commited now).

    I also thought that women who resort to Internet dating are often desperate, not my type. That has however changed as Internet dating has become so popular, but it is still a common trait.

    However beware, I met some very interesting, attractive, intelligent women over the Internet. Just not dating, but during events that huddled plently of people from various Internet forums.

    If I happened to become single again (I hope not), I would not use the Internet to meet new people, though.

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    • The majority still are + mentally ill + issue's + untrustworthy, playing games Wien about players, lack of social competence, after sex to fill emptiness, be entertained, passivity, ghosting, ignoranc, snowball effect, lies, fake to they make it.
      Manny of them must be played as a pray with pua games then you get interesting.
      You as a man must make thing's happen.

      The minority aren't like this.

      Most people that are on pay sites are on free sites.

      It did work better both ways for 10-12 years ago, people wasn't that damaged with those smartphones.

    • @crazy8000 Look that's not what I meant.

  • In my opinion, good men and good women looking for something real and lasting CAN find love with online dating, but the odds are extremely low.

    Women will get 100+ messages per week. Most are a lazily-written "hey", some are dirtbags who say "let's f***", and by the time she gets to the 3 or 4 decent guys, she's been so turned-off by the whole thing that she gives up and walks away.

    Men have the exact opposite problem. We can send out 400+ messages to 400+ different women... and we are ESTATIC if, maybe, three of them reply. Of those three, one loses interest within minutes, one is a scammer / bot, and the third writes poorly-spelled, abbreviated jargon. The link to a website I posted below says that despite 12 hours per week searching through profiles and writing messages, a full 33% of guys never even go on one date with a girl from an online dating site.

    www.virtualdatingassistants.com/why-online-dating-doesnt-work

    (https://www. virtualdatingassistants. com/why-online-dating-doesnt-work)

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  • You get what you give. A lot of people have negative views on it. I dated a guy for 5 months from tinder and it was getting serious and the guy I'm in a relationship now with was from tinder. It's a phrase called 'gating' when you get to know someone online you feel more comfortable meeting them as you've got to know them better and surveys do suggest that people who online date stay together longer than people who meet in real life.

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  • My current boyfriend and I met online and I'm super happy. Before that though, was a 1/2 a year of game playing from a lot of guys. You gotta be strong and not get swept off your feet by players. I think you might get lucky and meet someone legit, but sometimes you have to sift through quite a bit of crap before you find that gem.

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  • Tried it years ago but it really bores me. It's even harder to meet people in person nowadays, I lucked up and met my current boyfriend at a bike event. I've dated and met several people online, but you have to be cautious on who you agree to meet. Found some weirdos and some really cool people.

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  • So why is that a problem? I understand that you may not have been interested in all of those who sent you a message but what if you didn't get Any? You can usually hide your profile while investigating those of interest and there are filters. As I guy using a dating site, it was very discouraging to get replies to messages I sent or seeing that my message was deleted without being read. To answer your question... dating sites suck.

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  • It’s a mixed bag. There’s good and there’s bad. I met girl A online and we dated for a few months but it didn’t go anywhere. She’s now godmother to both my kids. Girl B was crazy and tried to kill me and my child. Girl C has been my wife for 3 1/2 years and we’re expecting her first child. Like I said, mixed bag.

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  • Not good unfortunately, which it should be conceptually, because you have the whole world at the finger tips.

    I get the odd match, but I don't really fancy the women who do match =/

    Like all relationships, it opens a can of worms. You can start acting from subconscious dark points, such as seeking validation, messaging people you're not fully interested in because of low hit rates, over concern with who you are, whether you're good enough, whether you have the socio-economic status to attract women.

    The whole thing becomes mercenary, utilitarian and just coming from a bad place, if you let it. Awareness is important, to use the meditation lingo. It's supposed to be a joy. Messaging and interacting people with should be a joy. This is where the whole good and bad boy come into play. Bad boys are just messaging from a place of personal honesty. Good guys from needy vibrations.

    As for you, just use Tinder or Bumble, where the two of you have to match before contact can be made.

    Men and women have different problems.

    Women have to sort the wheat from the chaff. Men have to endure long periods of terminal tumbleweeds.

    If online dating is making you miserable. Then please reconsider from a fundamental standpoint how you're doing it.

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  • I can get together with an 8, 9 or 10 IRL if I can speak with her for a few minutes, but I can't get a single match on Tinder. So I'm not fond of it as it seems my IRL personality beats my online personality anytime. :)

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  • I’m back on it and I have the same thing happening. I recently met someone who is amazing but I don’t know what to do with the other guys I said I’d go out with. He and I are both looking for long term, but my inbox keeps piling up

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  • Not great. I tried a few sites. I'd get a full inbox of generic messages (some just "hi" to more explicit right away). I'd respond to the "hi" ones, and then they'd ask for just a hook-up. If I tried to contact a person with a high match, they never responded.

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  • My experience was lackluster. I've met a couple of good girls, the best date I had was surprisingly off of Tinder. However, there is a very low response rate for men and many women are entitled/rude. That and when I was looking at a female friends inbox, I was appalled at the things that other guys say. Not to mention the epidemic known as ghosting. I think the best option is just to go out in real life and talk to people.

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  • I've tried several attempts at it without any success, I lost all faith in it when I learned that it's a numbers game and every girl gets hundreds of messages a day. I'm average looking but I don't stand a chance against the competition. It only works for 1% of the site population. Can't just 1 girl reply to me? I'm almost 25 and still single. :/

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  • I got no attention whatsoever, on multiple app's, whether I messaged first or not. It was understandably disheartening so I hardly bother with it now.

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  • Lots of weirdos and had my fair share of them..
    And yes even a girl who's not pretty would be flooded with messages.. imagine if she was pretty !! Kinda crazy and overwhelming !

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  • I married a woman I met online. Lot of bad experiences (as I can already see from a glance at the replies) but sometimes it works out.

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  • In a nutshell, everyone has the attention span of a fruit fly.

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  • Online dating via most dating sites sucks for guys. Girls will be flooded on both free and payfor sites. Better chance with pay for sites. Personally I've had better luck just hanging out in chatroom type apps that switching to a more personal chat.

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  • If you're an attractive woman, you'll have a dozen guys wanting you irl, but online, you'll have a million.

    If you're a guy, you'll have maybe 2 attractive girls that want you Irl and 3 attractive girls online but 7 ugly girls too.

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  • Both of the long term relationships that I’ve had have been with guys I have met online (tinder/bumble). Now I’m just looking for friends w benefits and it’s good for that too. I like bumble more than tinder. I’ve had a lot of luck so far.

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  • Most dating sites have more men than women, sometimes 10x more. Plus, men are more likely to shotgun and try to contact most any woman.

    To avoid that, use a dating site that requires men to pay in order to make contact. Besides, if they aren't able to afford a little website subscription, they sure can't afford to date properly.

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  • I've only had one online relationship and I'm going to go from my state all of the way to his state soon so we can finally be together and have our forever

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  • i dont think something real will came out from online dating, i mean its not impossible but guys online are just too much and their intentions are ofter the type of lemme smash, dick pic type, no tnx

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  • Lol terrible, I either got women that weren’t attractive but very nice or no one...😒.. I guess I’m one ugly mother fucker

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  • Pretty good. I've only had two relationships, both of which stemmed from online dating. My first girlfriend was great. We met on Tinder. We went out for two years but it just wasn't love. My current girlfriend I met from Fetlife and we live together.

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  • Well I met this guy off of this app called whisper last January we started dating and we been living together since may we’re planning to get our own place have kids get married etc

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  • Tried it and I made the experience that it's very unbalanced. While girls get more requests than they could be able to handle them guys rarely find someone with interest. Also a lot of datingapps like Tinder are way to much focus on the look of a person. They miss the most important part. The character. It's mostly a swiping without results until all possible partners are gone. That sucks

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  • Guys just want sex on online dating apps. It’s stupid

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    • This is incorrect, but despite the judgement I can understand why you would think this. A lot of men in the 18-35 age range are complete pigs.

      Just don't brand us all that way. I for one am nothing like that scum.

    • One guy in every twenty or so that messaged me beg for sex right off the bat. Even though my profile stated very clearly “Do NOT ask for sex!!” I’m off those sites now. They’re the worst

  • It was always a hit or miss for me. I definitely a few horror stories. But I think the more honest you are about yourself & what you want, the more likely you are to find people who will respect that & reciprocate. For example, I met my current boyfriend on OkCupid & we've been together for a little more than a year. Some will say "too soon!", but we're already discussing marriage. He's 30 & I'm 25, so we're kinda at that age where casual hookups aren't really "cute" anymore. lol!! He & I also bonded on how we've both been divorced & have dealt with cheating, scummy spouses. But we both still believed in settling down with someone who's worth all the eternal binding.

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  • Not much luck on online dating then again I never took it seriously or put much effort on my profile or pics I uploaded. Girls rarely reply especially on tinder unless they are exceptionally ugly or fakes phishing.

    The replies I did get from supposedly legitimate matches never went anywhere. It’s much more productive and easier in person at least you can get a foot in the door. Online competition is too stacked for most guys to have a realistic chance and if your SA or just inexperienced and awkward even if you did meet it probably fizzle out once your not what they were expecting you to be.

    If you meet in person to start with they can’t get swept up in their imagination and embellishing who you are into a unrealistic dream guy you can’t live up to. It’s still not that easy but there is far less competition offline in the moment than online where compare you to every Tom dick and Harry they swipe next after you. It’s also free depending on location.

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  • It depends on the site. If you use a free or raunchy one then guys will blow up your profile. If you go to paid online sites its different cause guys could be looking for something more serious

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  • The best thing about online dating is to think "what he/she would if we were right now together", everything else is maybe waste of time, but is good to try it sometimes just to escape from reality and everyday life.

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  • I only saw some good (?) girls who didn't respond to me and sluts. I was a good guy who believed in love but it made me a misogynist. I saw girls' real faces. Love, romance, relationship, marriage etc. are bullshit. If you have handsomeness, arrogance, power and money, you can get every women. That's the reality. People like me have no chance. Zero.

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  • It's hard for me to talk to anyone in dating sites, and when I do they either yell at me for some bull they did or eventually just stop talking to me altogether, even though we've had a great conversation up to that point. Just boom, gone, for no reason.

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  • It sucks. People are not what they say they are and the pictures they use really don’t depict what they actually look like. Never again will I do that.

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  • Yeah, you girls got it hard. So many guys trying to get with you, but most are trying to game you. It is hard to determine the ones that want an honest relationship.

    As a guy trying to online date, most girls as so suspect, most pass up good ones.

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  • I tried Match for free and it worked out! Been dating for two months! He’s so sweet! And he has great friends and a big family and and and 😍😊

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  • Bad lol I haven’t been single for long but I already hate online dating

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    • Couldn't empathise more with you if I tried. It's not a nice experience, and I too haven't been single long.

  • I met a hot girl who turned out to be a nice guy. No one wants nice guys

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  • it sucked. it wasn't that serious anyways, i realized it takes from the person more than it actually give them.. and i won't get in one again. well unless its Selena Gomez.

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  • online dating its puts you through the game of being rejected very well. you get passed upon like a piece of trash. many lie and dont want to show true colors or have other intentions.

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  • Off course there will be many messages , most of younger man feel it more comfortable to talk to girl via internet, the hunting side of man work more easier on the net. The online dating is good , but must be careful there a lot of scam profile's.

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  • It's been good. I used to enjoy heaps of chatrooms before in Australia most chat rooms got shut down.

    Like ICQ MSN chat rooms yahoo chat rooms etc

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  • I created a troll account on POF to stalk my friend who was using it.
    In my opinion, online dating is a joke. Too many rejects way passed their prime.

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  • It doesn't work for me i find more sex offers than genuine guys tht are interested but i haven't lost hope id still try again

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  • Pretty good. I like coming up with good date ideas so it was fun even if I didn't click with the girls.

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  • Experience gives you knowledge, you can try it but remember, whatever the results can be, you will learn about it.

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  • Never used online dating and I don't think I intend to but I do know someone who has found someone and their very much in love

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