My friend has a crush on my boyfriend?

My friend has a very obvious crush on my boyfriend. I’ve been friends with this girl for 2 years and have been with my boyfriend for 11 months. We have a very open and honest relationship with eachother. I feel very disrespected and hurt. She flirts with him in front of me, she organizes events that are mainly things that they have in common and has made a lot of comments about my relationship that make me really uncomfortable. One time, one of our other friends said they kind of look like siblings and she got really uncomfortable and said it would be weird if they looked like siblings. She basically admitted that she has romantic feelings for him when she said that. Why else would that be weird? She’s also said in a joking manner, that I was attractive. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this already, and he agrees with me that she does seem to have a crush on him. He has reassured me that he loves me and he would never do anything with her. I trust him completely, and I know nothing would ever happen, but it still bothers me. I also don’t want my boyfriend to not be friends with her. I don’t expect him to not have female friends. Like I said before, I trust him and he has not encouraged her behaviour in anyway. He treats her the exact same way that he treats all the other girls that hang out with us. It’s also not just me who is noticed it. Other people have noticed it and have brought it up with me. We are all in the same class, so avoiding her is not an option. I’ve been kind of petty towards her lately because I feel very disrespected and hurt. That’s not who I am, but she’s pushing me so much. I don’t wanna make things awkward for everyone at school by confronting her, but I can’t go on feeling so much animosity toward someone who I want to be friends with. Is there anyway for the three of us to all be civil?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it may be best to confront her privately. It will be hard, but ultimately worth it. If you continue to be petty, people will notice and judge you for it. Additionally if you don't confront her, it will continue to drive a wedge between you and it will be impossible for your relationship with her to improve.

    When I find myself in a situation like this, I privately write down in depth how I feel. Then I write down the outcome that I want the most. Honesty with yourself is key here. Finally, after organizing all of my thoughts and feelings, I decide when, where and how I will confront the person.

    Be kind but honest with the person that you are confronting. Tell them how you feel and describe your ideal outcome to them.

    This is really hard to do. It takes a lot of courage. But, regardless of how the other person reacts, they will respect you for your honesty and maturity.

    I have personally saved 2 relationships by doing this and I will say again, it is hard, but definitely worth it.

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    • I should also note that one person who I confronted in this manner was not receptive... We cut ties and I still believe that my life is better for it. I know that I did what I thought was best and I can respect myself for making the effort.

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What Girls & Guys Said

31
  • I think she’s not a good friend if she’s trying to get with your boyfriend

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  • Your friend should not have a crush on your man... thats wrong... she needs to resort t your relationship. I'd keep my distance and remain friendly.

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  • Then she not a good friend indeed. She should respect you and not do that to you. Best and good friends are their for you not your man.

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  • All three of you should talk about this issue

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