Is it worth getting into a relationship with a girl if I'm not sexually attracted to women?

I'm sort of at the age where a lot of women want to settle down and at my work (which is healthcare oriented) most women are single and there's been this chick at work who's been chasing me pretty hard. I guess you could also say I'm 'desirable' in that I work a good job (almost $100,000k/yearly), dress well and the usual shebang.

The thing is that I'm not sexually attracted to women. At all. I had some childhood trauma and am more or less asexual because of it. I am... kind of... emotionally attracted to women though.

I do feel lonely sometimes but I'm usually quite happy with my lifestyle and feel like getting into a sexless relationship would be a waste of everyone's time. Should I give this girl a shot?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, you will be unhappy. You only have one life, you should live it how you want. Getting into a relationship because of loneliness is a terrible reason to date someone. You can definitely live a fulfilling life and not have a romantic relationship involved in it. There is more to life than love. The world is a great big place. Plan a vacation. If you’re lonely, get a dog. If you dont like animals, get a plant. If you’re emotionally attracted to women, make friends at work and go out to breakfast with each other.

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    • That's what I've been doing for years pretty much. And yep, honestly the 1 short term relationship I had made me absolutely miserable. I remember the first time fingering a girl and asking myself like "really? this is it?"

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    • Oh wow that's really interesting! I never really thought about this from a woman's perspective (i. e. in the childbirth sense) but I could imagine how that could be hard. I don't really understand the pressure from peers and family to settle down and live the typical lifestyle though. I almost feel like the more pressure a person feels to be something the more they fight to be the opposite

    • Thats exactly what it is. People have values and ideas so deeply ingrained values in their heads, that they never knew anything different. And then someone like me or you come along, and that really throws them off. And in response, they make excuses for how we are “different” or the occasional hissy fit.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Most people assume that if someone is dating, they are looking for a long-term partnership including sex. If you want a platonic relationship you need to tell her on the first date.

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    • How do I tell her to kindly leave me alone? I have no experience doing this because... well... I never needed to. And she's starting to make me uncomfortable. I basically don't want this to turn into some stupid HR nightmare when she gets upset

    • What specifically is she doing that upsets you?

    • Well basically I work in bme (biomed engineering) at a hospital and we tend to have to focus really hard (adderall abuse is rampant in our community) and she gets really disruptive. she's a nurse and most nurses are kinda crazy and were those high school stuck up types who won't stop blabbering

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What Girls & Guys Said

12
  • Give it a shot, but once a sort of foundation is formed, third date period you know, tell her who you are and why, worst case scenario she leaves but I guess that's for the best because then your time isn't wasted, best case scenario, she stays. Who knows, you could end up being sexually attracted to the emotional side of her, the point is you tried and won't regret anything

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  • Nope

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  • Are you sure you’re not into men?

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    • Nope. I've never fantasized about a man once in my life and don't find men sexually attractive whatsoever.

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    • Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It could just be that you’re more sexually attracted to men and more romantically attracted to women. Do you only like to see a naked man and a clothed woman or do you also like to see clothed women without the man? Honestly, I don’t know what else to say to help you... I guess you’ll have to try finding women that are okay with or into your fetish. I don’t know if that’s gonna be easy, though, because most women will probably feel undesirable if you don’t like to see them naked.

    • Haha nope. I'm attracted towards the woman and the clothing she's wearing. The only thing exciting about the man in the picture is that I pretend I'm his shoes - being kind of submissive and all. But as for the man himself - no attraction there

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