Is this considered cheating on your partner (Please read below)?

You’ve been exclusive for over a month and you’re paranoid that the person has been cheating on you due to their semi-long distance job. Even though, they have been honest about everything and don’t have anything to hide/ don’t come across as defensive or guilty. To protect yourself, you end up downloading a dating app, swipe right for yes/left for no and send around 5 messages within 15-20 minutes. From this point, you don’t get any feedback considering how early it is in the morning, feel guilt because you are not certain that they are being unfaithful and delete the account before you can even get a response from anyone (the app’s intent is to have the woman make the first move and the guy responds from there). Is this considered cheating?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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516

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes and no. You're behavior is innocent but your intent makes it cheating. Downloading the dating app is a betrayal of trust and your boyfriend would not like it if he found out. There was no real interaction with other men but still the beginning acts of cheating.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If u download a dating app. your more than likely looking yourself unless i read wrong and he downloaded.
    . balank.

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    • I downloaded it. I don’t think he has one. Yet, I’m not certain.

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What Girls & Guys Said

415
  • It's an act of betrayal and early stages of cheating. I saw you comment below a lot about cheating being common so you should just expect it. That is a horrible way of thinking especially for a guy that is wanting to make it work out for you, so you download an app to begin cheating on him anyway. That is just downright stupid. What if you went through with it? "I cheated on you because I expected you to"...

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  • I do not care to answer your question. I believe to do so would be inane.

    It appears you are in a relationship which is founded on a lack of trust, paranoia. It appears there is a dearth of trust in this relationship. This is tremendously unhealthy.

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  • "Rhey have been honest about everything and have nothing to hide"

    Let's at start right here, shall we? First, everybody has something to hide, everybody. Second, how do you know he has been completely honest with you? You don't, so don't give them that much credit.

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    • Maybe I should have checked that message before hitting send? Anyway, you get my point.

  • I mean, the intention of cheating was there but you chose not to... if you're not sure of your partner, don't play with fire.

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  • This is an easy one. If your partner considers it cheating than it is cheating. You don't get to unilaterally decide whether you've cheated or not. They will feel about it however they naturally feel.

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  • You attempted to cheat yes I think you need to work on your insecurities before you date as cheating because your partner has the potential to cheat is still fucked up

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  • It's not but the intent was there. It's like in the last Jedi *spoilers* when like was going to kill kylo but decided he didn't want to go through with it.

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  • Sounds like you're more paranoid than anything. Quit stressing out over the long distance relationship and cheating. Unless there is evidence, it's all in your head.

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  • That's not protecting yourself at all, that's looking else where and then deciding its not worth the effort.

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  • It's getting very close to it. I think you're waiting for the other shoe to drop and not going with the flow.

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  • It's almost there. There's no coming back from it though. This is not a healthy relationship. Poor guy though.

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  • It's a very slippery slope.. next thing you will be taking to vent.. laughing with someone else about your relationship.. maybe you should be honest about your fears to him. And might need to evaluate yourself whether or not something long term is something you can trust at this point. Not an attack I don't know you ok.. but I've seen both genders hurt like this and then everybody is like why can't I find someone I can open up to.. why won't they for me.. just take your time but stop doing that if you want something real.. or change your relationship to poly or something I don't know good luck

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  • No but is a bit interesting story is there more to it then just the app

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  • If you have to ask, then it probably is...

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  • It was definitely an attempt, hun :/

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  • Its an attempt

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  • well if he had done that to you would you consider it cheating?
    now ask yourself again and this time be honest. that is your answer

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  • Why would you sign up for a dating app?

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    • Because I’m afraid he’s doing that towards me too

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    • I’ve been around multiple people that are not famous by any means and they have been cheated on.

    • Ok. So have I. I never said they had to be famous. I said media makes the concept of cheating on a lover seem normal.

  • It's bordering on it yes.

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    • If you continue with that one of you will eventually cheat. Without trust you have nothing. Either take a chance or leave.

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    • It sounds like he wants to make it work, so let him, he can't do that if you're questioning him too often, he needs to feel you trust and respect him. If he gives you legitimate reason to doubt him then go ahead by all means. You just need to keep things balanced and in check to succeed here.

    • Ahhh it's your fist, well we all learn an awful lot there! Take people's advice here, they haven't been around and not learned a thing or two sweet. I understand your concerns but you have to take a chance if you want it to work, otherwise you're heading in a self destructive direction. Try and save yourself some of that trouble. If he's going to cheat you can't change that, but if he's not then you have to give yourselves the best chance! The only sensible thing is to trust and if all else fails at least you can say "well I did everything in my power that was possible to make it work" so you'll have far fewer regrets.

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