Stay with shitty girlfriend?

So I've been with my girlfriend for about a year now, and things are starting to go south. When I first started dating her we didn't really have much chemistry, and I could feel right off the bat that something was off. But since she was really beautiful, had a nice ass, and I didn't want to be single anymore I stayed in the relationship. We have had our ups and downs and I have hurt her a few times. But through the entire relationship she has treated pretty shitty at times. She has an anger problem (that I'm assuming she got from her mom), and her dad has never been In her life so she doesn't know how to treat a man right. She will get mad at the drop of the dime for small things and go 0 to 100. She has said some pretty hurtful things about my body too. I am a very loving person and have treated her good. I mean I've hurt her feelings before but I don't get mad all the time. I want to be in a relationship with her because I do love her, but I really don't deserve to be treated like shit, and in the back of my mind I think something is off. I don't think I'm really "in love" with her. But I want to be, and I don't want to be alone. I'm starting school and the stress from our relationship has been affecting my focus in class. I keep thinking about her and thinking that I want to be with her, but at the same time I don't. I'm questioning whether I'm with her for the right reasons. I ask myself why I'm with her and all I can bring up is (she is attractive, it's nice to have a girlfriend, she can be a loving person at times, and I don't want to be alone). Maybe I need to be alone and gain some confidence and take time to just love myself? I'm not one hundred percent sure. What would you do In my situation? Stay with a person you aren't really super in love with, but is attractive and you care about? Or say God bless and leave the relationship to gain some self respect and focus on myself? I've told her she treats me like shit, but she doesn't see it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is the exact reason why the divorce rate is so high. Bud, I feel for you! I totally get what you are saying, and my heart goes out to you. Unless she has a some sort of major attitude change, I feel you will never be happy with her. From your story, you are with her because she has a nice ass, you are scared to be alone and it is nice to be with someone. From day-one, you said something was off, not right. So your relationship with her is probably 60%. No where near perfect, but sometimes not really enough to justify breaking up either. Tough spot to be in. I really think you need to take some time for yourself and focus on your schooling and your future. Couples are suppose to make each other stronger, and she is actually bringing you down and causing problems. Everything points to at least taking a break for a while. If she truly is a good person and worth having a future with, she won't realize what she had until after she has lost it. So that is another point towards some sort of break or breaking up for now. I also think it would do you good to maybe date others to see how people should be treated. Maybe you are giving her more credit and forgiveness than she deserves. Lots of great and wonderful girls out there, with a nice ass too, that would treat you like a king! I am not a big believer in making or forcing a relationship to work. I believe the better a relationship is, the easier it is. If you find it is a struggle all the time, then maybe it is best to take a step back and see what else is available for you out there. Good luck!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're talking about her shitty personality but you're not any different when you only decided to date her because of her "nice ass" and your need for a girlfriend. That's selfish. Meaning that you're not dating her for her. you're not dating her because u like her *truly, and not just her body and the fact she's a girl and can be a gf*.

    Her shitty personality is just another reason as to why this relationship is a waste of time. U two just don't have that most important factor needed in a relationship- love. There is no good relationship without real love which you guys lack of.

    I suggest you end things with her and stop being selfish. Find yourself and find someone who u really like and are truly compatible with, because u deserve someone who respects you, and she deserves someone who loves her for her.

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What Girls & Guys Said

54
  • I had to make this choice recently, it was hard and i refused to give up trying to talk and get to the bottom of it but every time she got defensive and upset, so I left it but tried again and again.

    After 6 months of stress and trying i told her it was time to call it a day.

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  • Well, I know she feals And sees What you're thinking or feeling. Dont be a douche And be honest with her. Maybe she Will calm down. maybe not, but If its not the relationship What you a longing for than leave And be honest. A Good conversation can fix everything, believe me

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  • She has some of my flaws but I'm not as bad as her. I'd never negatively comment on her body or anything that actually hurts her. Like when I'm pissed, I'll stay on topic and share my points but I do get mad.

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  • She treats you like garbage all the time. I don't think that is fair to you to stay with her. Just because you don't want to be alone, and you care about her, her actions and words don't sound like she does.

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  • Chemistry is the most important thing. If you don't have that it just won't work

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  • Go with your gut
    Go with your gut

    Listen to your gut

    You should leave her and then she will see how important you are to her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

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  • If you're not happy then I suggest you leave. Why put yourself in this position.

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  • leave

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  • For both your sakes it's time to say bye.

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