My friend and I have a crush on the same girl! What should I do?

My friend and I both have a crush on the same girl and im unsure how to approach the situation. I don't want to hurt my friend and also I don't want to possibly lose a friend because of this. Both him and I don't feel extremely good about ourselves and I don't want to damage his self esteem any further. We have known each other for our entire lives almost and I really value him as a friend. Please give a reasonable answer and also check out my other questions :)
Updates:
UPDATE: I was going to tell my friend that he could have her but he replied saying that he isn't interested anymore her. We are still friends so its all good. Thanks for all the advice GAGers!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey there :) Yeah that's a rough situation, but honestly, if you guys are that close you should porbably sit down and talk to him about it. If you value his friendship above all I think trus and communication are the best ways to deal with this, because then you'd both know how the other feels and it could avoid some weird or negative situations (even if they're involontary)... Good luck with that!

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    • thanks, how would you recommend I approach the situations to him? I feel bad because he has been rejected before for dumber and uglier guys. I really like this girl but I don't want to be a dick and take it away from him.

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    • I've told him and I don't know what else to say*

    • I guess ther's nothing else to say, unless you experience uncomfortable situations or weirdness between you too, then you should talk about it lol I'm all for communications

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well if you are a friend, give up on her.
    But if he fails to impress her, ask him directly if you may try.
    No point of friendship if you go around. Consider giving up on that girl as a gift to your friend.

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What Girls & Guys Said

43
  • Let your friend have the girl and you can wait until somebody else comes along.

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  • Well man it really isn't that complicated dude, what you got with your friend is more important than one girl so if you two can't handle it just drop her and move on. On the other hand if there's nothing to worry about I say you guys make it a competition may the best guy win. Just my opinion of course

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  • Ask yourself, do you really love the girl or is this just an infatuation? Is it worth it? Discuss this with your friend, even if it's hard because they in the end who will really care for you more, the girl or your friend. And who's going to be there with you till the end?

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    • true. I just dont want to lose him and damage his esteem. also how do I know what infatuation is and the difference between that and love?

    • Well, no one is really sure what "real love" is until you actually find it. It's still up to you decide if you truly love this girl or not and I think if you doubt it at the moment chances are that you don't really love the girl. You did say crush, and in life, there is going to be a lot of these crushes.

  • Is a girl really worth a friendship? To be honest, most young relationships don’t last anyway. If you still want to date a girl and keep your friend ship, like a different girl and you both have to agree with each other that you guys won’t ask her out. But don’t just date any girl you see, check in with yourself and make sure if you’re liking the right person.

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  • I would say you both should leave her alone. You will find another one

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  • Whoever gets her gets her

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  • Toss a coin.

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