Do you think I still have a good chance with this girl?

I (25 M) asked my best friend I professional school's older sister (28 F) out about 2 months ago and she agreed. I had originally met her about a year ago and hung out in a group a few times. We would always seem to gravitate toward each other, end up sitting next to each other, talking to each other most of the night, etc. She is a flight attendant and lives a few states away, but comes into town a few times a month to visit her mom.

We went out together 3 different times over the course of the last month and a half and had a great time together. A lot of playful touching, flirting, said that we like each other and spending time together, etc and even went for and got the kiss the 2nd time out.

Last time after we went out, I let her know that I'd be interested in pursuing a relationship with her. She replied with "I'm flattered, but with my schedule right now I don't think I'd be able to fully commit and I would make a bad girlfriend, but it's something we can talk about in the future. You are smart, funny, handsome and the ballsiest person I know (I can't remember the last time someone asked me out in person), there is nothing about you I wouldn't want to date and it's something we can talk about a little further down the road." And that she would still like to go out with me whenever she is in town.

She currently lives a few states away, but is planning on moving back in the next couple of months. I didn't get the "this isn't going to work out or we should stop seeing each other vibes" so I wasn't going to give up on her.

We had plans to go out this weekend to dinner and bowling, but she had to postpone it another week because she got sick (she sounded like she was dying on the phone). She said she was really upset that she wasn't able to make it and had been really looking forward to seeing me.

Question is, do you think I still have a good chance with this girl of eventually moving things forward and just taking things slow for now and enjoying each other?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think in your situation you have a couple of options
    If things are going to take a while say over 4 months before things start progressing then you could hook up with other girls if you want
    If things will progress more recent then id say wait for
    Don't be needy or desperate, there's nothing wrong with asking her how long things will take as long as its not over done, asked to often or dont in a whiny complainy way
    As long as you dont become desperate and such and keep options open for yourself id say you have an excellent shot
    Just make sure you take care of yourself and she's not stringing you along
    Hope things go well

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    • I don't mind waiting, I truly like this girl and haven't felt this way about someone before. Even better is that our families get along well, they had all met before I had asked her out.

      I don't think she is stringing me along. Last time we had hung out in a group, I overheard her tell her sister than some guy from back home had recently asked her out, and she basically told him thanks, but no thanks. So I feel like if she didn't have an interest in me she would have been more direct

    • I'm not saying she is stringing you along, I just don't know this girl yano just take care man.

    • Thanks for the replies :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that you do still have a chance! You have mutual respect and patience with each other which is a very positive thing! Also she seems very genuine and true with her words, and since you didn't get any fishy vibes from her then I would say that you aren't being led on like a puppy dog. But don't pressure her into anything (although you haven't to begin with). With time and patience I'm pretty sure you to will get together!

    Also, taking it slow is good! You can process everything that is happening thus making her feel a bit more stable than just racing into a relationship, if you know what I mean?

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    • I've been keeping in contact with her (about ever 2 days or so) and she always responds to my texts and calls and seems genuinely happy to talk to me. She will even text me sometimes just to say that she hopes I'm having a good day.

      I asked her out again next time she is in town and she said that sounded lovely. So just keep on doing what I'm doing then?

      I feel like if she didn't have an interest she would have said "I dont see you that way or I just see you as a friend", but she wants to keep going out and says that she has been looking forward to seeing and hanging out with me.

    • Like you said, you haven't gotten any "stop I don't like in that way" kind of signs, so yes, I think you should continue what you're doing! If she wasn't interested then she wouldn't say yes to you asking her out again. And that one time she postponed your date is nothing to worry about is maybe because she's probably quite busy with work.

      It would seem that she's very interested, but be patient and let her process everything in her own pace. I wish you all luck! I believe that you're gonna get her someday! :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

37
  • Yes, your chances seem good. Keep in touch with her and maybe it will work out.

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    • I've been keeping in contact with her (about ever 2 days or so) and she always responds to my texts and calls and seems genuinely happy to talk to me. She will even text me sometimes just to say that she hopes I'm having a good day.

      I asked her out again next time she is in town and she said that sounded lovely. So just keep on doing what I'm doing then?

  • I'll add to the positivity here and tell you things are looking good. If she moves back in a couple of months she could be waiting for that. Just keep doing what you're doing, it seems to be working. Best wishes.

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    • Thank you for the reply, I appreciate it.

      I guess my only hangup is that she still doesn't want to even after she moves back. She seems like she has been nothing but honest with me so far so I shouldn't question it. She always responds to my texts, seems genuinely happy to talk to me, and saying yes when I ask her out so I guess I should consider my chances pretty good

    • Gotcha. Well just take your time and engage and respond accordingly.

  • Oh you have a shot my man. Absolutely. You just have to decide if you're willing to wait. Because that's the hardest part. It's so hard to look at other girls when you're so romantically passionate for just one special girl.
    I'll tell you what... I'm in a somewhat similar situation, with way less of a shot than you, and I'm not giving up. So you shouldn't, if you truly feel for this girl.

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    • I had asked a couple other people and they said that her response sounded like a rejection and it seems like my relationship with her would never be anything more than casual and she would never be my girlfriend.

      She still wants to go out with me and said we could revisit it, so that still makes me hopeful. I feel like I have a good chance and that she might just need a little more time. I mean I don't really blame her, she is only in town for maybe 4 or so days a month currently. But I think its' a good sign that she wants to spend some of the little time she has here with me.

    • Oh it's for sure a good sign. I don't think it sounds like a rejection. Sometimes, time and space are needed. They will help her realize a few things as well as you. And if the connection between you two outlasts the time she currently needs, then you're golden.
      The girl I like needs time. And if I put myself in her shoes, I totally get it. I understand it. I'd need the time too.
      Consider her honesty with you a real bonus. She could just as easily lead you on instead.

    • Thank you for your replies.

      I feel like if she didn't have an interest she would have said "I dont see you that way or I just see you as a friend", but she wants to keep going out and says that she has been looking forward to seeing and hanging out with me. She has called me "bud" a few times, and the first time it made me think I was getting 'friendzoned', but she let me kiss her so I guess I shouldn't think anything of it.

      Yeah, I feel like she was honest with me. She hasn't given me a reason to think otherwise. She always responds to my texts and calls and said she has been looking forward to seeing me. Don't know why I keep questioning it myself, guess I just want to see other's thoughts on the matter

  • You definitely have a shot, since there are no signs she is leading you on. She seems honest. If I were you, I would wait until she can go out with you. Keep it light, casual and funny, don't rush into things. Slow and low, that is the tempo, the Beastie Boys would say.

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    • Solid reference, thanks for the reply.

      Guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and enjoy the time I do get to spend with her and see where it goes. Got a date set up for this upcoming week if she can manage to fly in. She seems bummed that she wasn't able to see me this weekend

  • Well you have her not only the chance just don't leave her and try to give her some space.
    If she said rhat she want so she mean it.
    Don't worry just be like you are with her.
    Best of luck
    Take care

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    • I've been keeping in contact with her (about ever 2 days or so) and she always responds to my texts and calls and seems genuinely happy to talk to me. She will even text me sometimes just to say that she hopes I'm having a good day.

      I asked her out again next time she is in town and she said that sounded lovely. So just keep on doing what I'm doing then?

    • Show All
    • Thank you for your replies.

      I feel like if she didn't have an interest she would have said "I dont see you that way or I just see you as a friend", but she wants to keep going out and says that she has been looking forward to seeing and hanging out with me.

    • Yes now you understand keep up.
      Boost your confidence love her.
      She is only yours don't worry
      Best of luck
      Take care

  • Looks good, good communication, honest people. You defiantly have a chance with her.

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  • This sounds like a logic person who knows how to communicate.

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  • I like the process and the way you respect and discuss with each other. Of course both of u have a chance to win the other in his life , don’t waste it ;)

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  • Better situation then me mate looks like you found the one!

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  • Wow go for it dude

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