My boyfriend smokes weed, and it's gotten to the point where I really need help, now. Advice?

So, My parents are anti-drug. They hate it with a passion, and it doesn't help that my father is a police officer, either. I'm going to tell my mother first that my boyfriend is smoking weed, but I don't know how to go about it. I don't want to piss him off, but this is putting a shit pile of stress on my shoulders, and I can't take it anymore. I want to do what's right for myself, because it's a lot of pressure, and if it causes my boyfriend and I to break up, then so be it. He knows my view on drugs, and he continues to post about it on his insta, and talk about it with me. it causes me great discomfort when it is brought up (He knows this, as well). He needs to clean up his act really bad, because it has gone from a stress reliever to a good time high. He has lied about it, as well. He stated he hasn't smoked since October 2k17, but he posts pictures of brand new paraphernalia. Everything started to piece together when I vented about this to my best friend, and I honestly do not have a clue what to do. I suppose I'm turning to the internet because I'm so lost, and I need advice.

[I understand that some of you don't mind weed, but it's a big issue with my family, so if you have something to say such as: ``Oh, well it can be beneficial.`` I don't want to hear it. I got that response from a lot of my friends, and it doesn't help at all.]

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No it is very simple, you tell him you don't like it or need it so its time to choose the weed or choose your relationship, every boy has to grow up at some point and i don't even care what weed it good for its a law whether people like it or not so if he chooses it over you then oh well if he tries some petty BS of trying to keep both of you tell your parents or just leave him its not worth the stress

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    • THANK YOU. I've been considering that, but I've been the type to try not to control his life. He clearly doesn't see that is putting stress on me. I've been so helpless because I don't know how to go about telling him that enough is enough.

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    • Your advice really helped. I appreciate it a lot. When I go to see him again, I'm going to tell him exactly that.

    • Good for you im glad i could help

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think if you have a problem with dating someone who smokes weed, then just break up with him. You can tell people what your preference is but there's no way to make them do what you want. I don't see how involving your mom would help.

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    • See, My mother is really the only person I can trust at this time, and I need to tell her. I've never been the type to hide things like that from her.

    • It's bad enough that she has been noticing how distant I've been.

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What Girls & Guys Said

15
  • Just weed? Fuck it let him smoke. It's not like it's cocaine. i smoke bud everyday work two jobs have a home and a brand new car. If he can't handle the weed and be successful then the problem isn't weed it's him.

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    • Did you read the bottom? Or the beginning? Weed hasn't been legalized in Canada just yet, and my father is a POLICE OFFICER. It could get him into huge trouble.

    • It's not legal where I'm at either lol but what's your point you just don't want him to smoke? Tell him or move on to someone else who doesn't smoke if it bothers you that much

  • You dating a guy who smokes weed isn't going to get your dad in trouble at work. Surprisingly, not much of the world gives a shit about your high school relationship. Don't tell your parents. Tell him it is either you or weed if it matters that much to you for some reason. I wouldn't date a girl who had a problem with my choice of vice. I rarely drink. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't do hard drugs. Personally, I think I am ahead of the game in that respect

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  • i would break up with him to be honest. personally for me, smoking is a HUGE turn off. i’ve dated a stoner before it i hated it. if this is causing you severe stress i would just let him go.

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  • I smoke daily, so I might be slightly biased, but I would reccomend telling him that it is causing you stress, and ask him if he will stop. If he doesn't stop, you deserve better.

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  • My father was an oral surgeon and just finished getting his medical degree at the time the flower children were talking LSD. His drug discussion was very short. Drugs are chemicals and the majority of the danger involved is the uneducated use of them combined with the laws and enforcement which further confuses everyone. Both your boyfriend and your father are different individuals and are not you. This means, you should do your best to warn each of them so they can be prepared but you should free yourself from any guilt or stress. Let them handle their own affairs and you do your best to let them get along.

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  • First off, it can be beneficial and it's not harmful (I don't smoke but I've studied it quite a bit. I'm a biology major with a minor in chemistry). He shouldn't be posting pictures to the internet but it's his life and his body. Telling your family about it would be underhanded and cruel, as you could potentially mess his entire life up for something innocuous and harmless. Just because it's a drug and illegal doesn't mean that it's bad for you, it's mostly politics and misinformation that caused it to become illegal. It's like having a cup of coffee in the morning. It may be a big issue with your family, but he isn't your family. If you can't handle his decisions and accept him how he is, break up with him.

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