How do I find more decent guys?

Whenever I'm looking to find someone to date I can only seem to find guys who only want sex or are just generally assholes.
Are there better dating sites or places in general to find guys who aren't so aggressive and stuff?
I also find it surprisingly difficult to find guys with similar interests as me. These are common things like video games, watching YouTube videos in general, music, art, etc.
Like? I'd imagine I would have found them by now.
I mean I'm not only looking to date people and I do want bake friends too, but it's just surprisingly difficult to find guys who aren't assholes/creepy and like similar things.

And I'm not saying all guys are creepy or asses I'm just saying that everyone that I've tried to talk to with dating in the mind has been.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think guys like what you want are more introverted or even socially awkward. Look for those ones and see if you can initiate a conversation.. Plus those common things have massively different genres which can also lead to difficulties. Instead of saying video games maybe say a favourite game.. But I'm sure there's gotta be a better way too. Bout all you can really do is chat and set expectations first. If all they want is sex or are assholes it'd shine through. And practice will let you see it faster!

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    • My biggest problem is that there aren't any guys like that in the small town I live in. ๐Ÿ˜•
      I do try to be more specific with the games that I like but it seems that nobody else really plays them. ๐Ÿ˜ซ

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    • Rip I've tried that before.
      Hopefully I'll find someone. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

    • Sometimes it's also all down to luck :(

Most Helpful Girl

  • You might be a tad too young for dating apps and hence the aggressive guys... Drop me a message? Would love to chat more and maybe advise you on this! x

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    • Hi! I'd send a pm but it says they're private for you

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What Girls & Guys Said

022
  • Google "Meetups" for your city. Stay off the dating websites for awhile.

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    • My problem is that I love in a very small town and I've already met all the single people around my age. None of them have common interests with me and many people just don't like me since I'm not religious. I don't know really what to do, ugh.

  • What? If you would be in my region, you had like 7 guys running after you including myself :D

    Better look in the internet (in your games maybe). Or just keep searching :) Nice gamer guys aren't that rare ^^

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    • Well heck were the same age which games do you like and stuff? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    • We're*

    • I mostly play rocket league, skyrim and random online games :D what about you?

      I really like playing table tennis and just enjoying some good music nearly every free second ^^

      If you want to talk about some random stuff dm me :)

  • Maybe look at the folder 'friendzoned' in your life. You would find some good boyfriend materials

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    • Ah yes... All girls... All the girl friends that had crushes on me but I turned down in favor of being friends,,, I've never had guy friends so I have no guys in the friend zone. ๐Ÿ˜‚

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    • Omg sorry for the late reply I'll add you on insta. I'm PrinceyPru probably

  • Why should guys have similar interests than girls? You wouldn't like a man who has your interests, believe me :) You might watch Youtube like him or play video games like him. But you won't watch the same movies and play the same games like him. Let alone music. So what is there that could be of interest for a guy other than your pussy? If he want's to share interests with others, he has his male friends and you have your female friends. Face it, it's about sex. It's not undescent. It's the way life goes.

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    • Um... I'd be literally 0% interested in a guy in he had that little care for me. That just sounds like an asshole if he only cares about my vagina. Yikes.

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    • Personality perhaps?
      I've known many guys who weren't even sexually interested in anything. They've had very happy and healthy relationships. Not everything is about procreation and that's a very narrow mindset to be in.

    • Everything is about procreation. But sex is the smallest part in it. Timewise. Would you agree? Whatever men do is to make women safe and happy. The superficial part of this instinct might don't look like it. But if you'd analyse it, you'll see what the reason for all the effort is. Doesn't mean you can't do all sort of other things. But this are side dishes. Those couples woudn't be together without this common goal of procreation.

  • In the online world you are going to have to go through tons of dudes to find a decent one. You would be much better off trying your luck in the real world. Like singles meet up or something like that. Also hanging out in place you like will help as well because the guys there will also be into that as well.

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    • All my problem is just that I live in the middle of nowhere and I know every one here already. A small farming town.
      Also every single meet up I've seen requires you to be like, at least 18. I may be 17 and almost there but I don't want to risk getting in trouble it getting someone else in trouble. ๐Ÿ˜•

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    • I really hope so! Luckily this past seems to have drawn some guys who seem pretty nice and stuff and who knows maybe I can find someone here ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

    • That is very true ! You just never know what's around the corner ;)

  • The decent guys are often those nerd nobody's that girls won't pay any attention to. A lot of these guys are still trying to figure their shit out, and if they do manage figure it out and get some self-confidence, they become the dream guy.

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  • Try getting to know the more quite or shy type of guy.

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    • Also online dating is very difficult in general with all the fake accounts and scammers about so be very careful

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    • Ah the parents. Yeah that does make a big difference. What about in school?

    • Nobody in school likes me. It's a very small town and I was a very weird child so everyone sees me as the "weird and creepy" kid even though it's been at least 6 years since I've acted anywhere near that way. There are still immature guys my age who run away from me because they think it's funny. I mostly just get bullied at school.

  • At your age I'm not sure I'd use a dating site since people will be congregated in schools. The real question is are they coming to you or are you approaching the

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    • I'm approaching basically every guy I know with a friendly and calm personality but I keep getting turned down since where I live in not religious and everyone judge me a lot for that. Online however it's been hard finding guys at all who don't seem like they want to kidnap me (or are at least near my age)

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    • My problem is mostly that I live in a small town and everyone remembers word things I did as a small child and won't accept that it's been 6+ years since I've even been like that. It's pretty hurtful. I can't look outside of town physically since my parents would have to drive me and come with me though since u can't drive and they're somewhat overprotective. Thus I have to look online. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

    • As under 18, you are still rather young and will more than certainly find new prospects fairly soon. I just read a very interesting article today about sexual trends in the US and it surprised me a great deal. What it said is people are having far less sex than previously and many of the younger people are afraid of relationships and sex due to the issues of pregnancy and STD. Many people are getting some fulfillment online but not in person. One comment on your history though, you can overcome your entire history of whatever you did quickly with the proper attitude. If you can project yourself, people will see YOU and forget who you were. I've seen many people do this before. It's all a state of mind and attitude.

  • Sorry you have to keep on looking... there are decent guys everywhere but hard to find. Good luck with that.

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  • Well I don't know you... and I'm gonna confess to my crush this Friday... If she says no I'll be free tho...

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  • Your best bet is to find them on video games and youtube videos or a place where people that like those things maybe even music and art shops

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    • Well I mostly play single player games and don't live near any shops (we only have our local grocery store otherwise I need to drive a couple hours to another town with my parents which would be awkward ๐Ÿ˜ฌ)
      Looking for guys on the videos is hard though because most of them are either too young for me to date or the rude kinds of guys. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ
      I really wish it was easier to meet people with common interests who weren't all just other girls. Any time I look in groups on websites it's always other girls and stuff who like the same games and people. I guess it makes sense though

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    • I have a long list that's hard for me to recall but I'm gonna rest to just babe all the games I enjoy or have enjoyed...
      Minecraft, L4D2, Town of Salem, Skyrim, Tera, Halo, Don't Starve, several random visual novels, Undertale... And a bunch of others that I can't remember right now. I don't still own them all, but I've played and liked them

    • Ok cool if you want any way to contact mr lemme know ways you have to be able to

  • That's the downfall when living in a small town. You need to look outside the box to find interesting guys elsewhere.

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    • Yeah. I mean I've been trying but I don't know where to look because it's become obvious that things like tinder aren't the answer. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

  • I'd say try talking to the quiet/shy guys. Give them a chance, maybe you'll like them

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    • I don't know where to find them since there aren't many guys in town near by she and they're all seemingly assholes or just don't like me. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

    • I mean I try to be nice and stuff to them but they're just really rude where I live and tend to harass me a lot so I've been looking for other people but my only option right now is online. Even then I usually tend to just run into the horny ones or people way too old to date

  • Video games? Well I don't know about dating but i can be ur gaming buddy :3 what games do u play?

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    • Well I have Left4Dead2, Don't Starve Together, Minecraft, and some others I don't play much so I forgot the names (my sister mostly plays them)

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    • We can play ToS :3 u got discord?

    • Yeah! I'll pm you

  • First ask yourself why do you feel you deserve a decent guy. Are you yourself a decent girl?

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  • You're under 18. That's all you're going to find tbh.

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  • Hate to break it to you but most guys are pigs... Sorry

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  • The question is, are you a decent girl?

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    • I mean, generally? Yes? I'm kind to those around me and do my best to work on self improvement. I always try my best to make time for others and I'm constantly trying to do favors for people. I do my best to be a decent girl. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

    • Because I see a lot of people wondering where are decent people but never look in the mirror to see if they actually deserve decent people. I do agree though that it is hard to find somewhat decent people nowadays.

  • Ping me

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  • i like games music and im nice guy, but im still single. Looking very athletic muscular, told that im hot af million times and heard that trough some people that girls talked about me a lot but still single. Sad life

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    • Well things like that also depend on luck a lot because sometimes two people will have personalities that don't match. It's like solving a big puzzle. You might have pieces that almost fit someone, but you just don't quite match. It happens a lot and it's okay that it happens. It just sucks when it does, haha.
      I'd be willing to get to know you and stuff and give you a chance! I'm very open-minded about giving guys chances as long as they give me chances. ๐Ÿ˜Š

    • Well thats right. Im also from Europe and far away from u probably so i wish you good luck finding someone :D , ill stay cry 4 ever haha

  • Maybe you are too young still for the more serious guys , all the sites are about the same, itโ€™s just tuff in your age group to find serious guys

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    • True, it's very difficult.
      Most girls are much more mature than their peers and when you're on the cusp of being 18, it's especially hard since most guys mature enough for you are "too old" for you at the time.

    • Oh yeah I know what you mean, they would be to much older for you at your age but as you get older the age gap can become more

  • you are in high school you shouldn't be on dating apps or websites. the best advice i can give you is to keep being yourself and eventually it will happen where you get a good guy. and depending on your age here is the breakdown
    most single guys in high school fall into these categories;
    13-15: A:too scared to ask a girl out
    B: will ask girl out because he is supremely overconfident. (aka, douchebag)
    C: not interested
    16
    A: over fear of approaching girls and decides to not try to find a girl and see what happens
    B: has been with a few girls already and lost his virginity
    C: still scared to ask a girl out
    D: not interested
    17-18
    A: has slept around with girls in school and has a rep for being a player making girls not interested if they know who he is
    B: hasn't been with anyone and really desperate for a girlfriend
    C: not interested
    D: is so desperate he will go after any and everything that moves
    hope this helps

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