Any other women ever felt tapped out/ burnt out from men and dating, that even the thought of being with a guy in any way feels so... BLECHH?

I’m 23, and I have time so I’m not *concerned*... My god, the last few years I tried SO hard to find a guy. It has been a MESS. like I thought “I just need to meet my soulmate” and wanted that high of being in love so badly... but alas, all my efforts turned to painful lessons and dead ends. I’m not even upset anymore, but more like... BLEH, LEAVE ME ALONE. When guys approach me now, I could not care less. Their words I’ve heard before, I’m not easily persuaded anymore.. and love lost all its magic I had thought it had when I was younger. Even sex isn’t appealing to me anymore. A guy touching me? No butterflies anymore. I have guys asking me out quite often, daily, and some are truly fine men... but I’m just not interested anymore. It’s all a joke to me now. Even guys that I like, I don’t want to try to form anything serious anymore because it’s fruitless. But I’m not bitter really, I feel like I am having more fun again being single and playing around rather than try to have something serious. Any other women feel this way or have felt this way?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Consider this: Love should always be selfless and self-giving, and this goes for romantic love as well. When looking or waiting for a good partner, what you ought to be doing is figuring out who it is you want to be selfless toward, while still being mindful of whether they are capable of doing the same for you.

    So if you're still hoping to one day find someone to hold your heart, look at it through the lense of selflessness: who seems like they will receive well what I am prepared to give? And in the process, pay attention to how selfless they are toward you. And don't be afraid to verbalize this before getting serious with someone, in fact, I encourage you to. If that life is still worth it to you, then I'm confident you'll find it someday :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay. Sounds like you're either turning...
    Into a hoe
    Into a lesbian
    Into an asexual

    I dont think you should become any of these. Take a second to breathe and get to know yourself more ans what you really want these days


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Love is something constructed on the long run. The whole "butterfly when a guy touches me", it's desire. Physical desire. Nothing else.

    And with the load of "nice guys" with no personnalities or self confidence on the dating scene, no wonder you feel like you burned out. Hearing the same thing, seeing the same behaviour is tiresome, not to mention all the time wasted in fruitless dates.

    Open relationship or long run celibacy is awesome.

  • That's what happens when you go about looking for a partner in a foolish manner. I would be the single biggest hypocrite on the planet to judge you for having been a hopeless romantic. I am too. But it goes a long way to apply some pragmatism along with that.

  • Quit looking and you will find someone you want. You are trying way too hard for how young you are. Try to develop yourself as a person. Find out what you like. Figure out why you like it. Do that for yourself, and a great relationship will come to you. Desperation is poison. You have to let love happen at first rather than try to make it happen.

    After the honeymoon stage, you have to decide if that person is someone you would be happy spending the rest of your life with. Could you be happy without them? If you know what is important to you, these shouldn't be hard questions to answer.

  • Instead of searching for a soulmate.. search for the true love. If your love is true. Then your problem is solved


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