Forgive or forget?

Last March I began talking with this guy named Adam. He's a very nice guy and he just got out of a very serious 2 year relationship with a girl that is still in high school. They were always together.

My friend Jesse (a guy) who is actually best friends with Adam tried to set us up. Everything was going great and Adam and I really clicked. I know this sounds ridiculous but we clicked so well that part of me could see me spending the rest of my life with him if things went well. (Yes that is crazy to say beings I'm only 19.but I've dated a lot of different guys and I never ever had the feelings I did for them like I did Adam and we weren't even dating yet)

So everything in going great with Adam and we kept hanging out when I came back from college every weekend. I met his Dad and family and everything and we were so close to starting to date, but the catch was he would be gone all summer from June till end of August for national guard boot camp. So he didn't want to start anything up before he left serious since we only hung out for about a month before he left.

So he's getting nervous about heading off to boot camp and I could tell. He was un sure of everything and I could tell this. His ex of 2 years kept nagging him and trying to get him back and eventually he gave into her. :( He told me that he still loved her and that he wanted to try to get back with her before he left. (Planned failed---she didn't take him back) I was very upset and he left without telling me bye which was fine at the time because I was so hurt by him.

The reason why I guess he told Jesse (our mutual friend) that he didn't want to start anything with me was he didn't want to worry about other guys hitting on me while he was gone.

Anyways I now decided that I'm going to college 10 minutes away from him. His ex has a new boyfriend of about 2 months now and they are inseparable and Adam will be back at the end of this month. I haven't talked to him since he told me that he was going to try to get her back and he swore up and down that I did nothing wrong he just needed time to get over her and he always makes the wrong decisions and blah blah blah lol

So part of me wants to look past the whole situation and forgive him and try to get him back after me again but the other part of me says let him go.since he screwed me over once already. But I know he's a good guy and I've been in a 3 year relationship before and I realize how he felt and why he attempted to go back. So I understand and can look past it.what should I do and am I setting myself up to get screwed over once again if I go for him?

Any suggestions would be helpful! :) Thanks!

  • Forgive
    Vote A
  • Forget
    Vote B
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Alright so here is the deal if you don't have time to write me an answer please please please at least vote. I really need to know what everyone thinks with this. :) Thanks!
Ok so I just found out that his ex is actually still got feelings for him and is going to dump her boyfriend now to try to get him back when he comes home soon. In a few I'm pretty sure I will go with the "forget" about him option.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You weren't dating with he never betrayed you when he went back to his ex. You're just hurt that he didn't choose you, right? This isn't forgive or forget, this is accept or deny.

    This man was honest with you about his current feelings and all that, and trust me, honesty of such a high level from a man is something worth acknowledging.

    You can "try" to get him back, but I don't know what that means. If you like him still, then keep in contact with him. Talk with him, text him, try and hang out with him. The more time you spend the more likely you'll find a chance to pounce.

    Plus, there's no reason not to be friends, right?

    • Very good point, thank you so much! I might just have to print out your response to show a few of my friends to try to sway them to think he's not a horrible guy for what happened. He was just mixed up with his emotions I think and at least he was honest with me at the time even though it hurt. But thanks again! :) much appreciated!!

    • Wow, no problem. I'm just glad you took it so well! Many people can't handle...well..blunt truth like I give out. I really hope I've helped, and feel free to ask anything else.

    • Sorry it didn't work out as well as you'd hoped. Be strong!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Hard 2 be friends I would suspect, but Hercules answer is wise. It is a good quality for a man to be honest:)

    Good day to you


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think he did anything wrong. actually. He had a history with his ex longer than he's ever known you. he had a right to try to mend things with her and he was honest with you the entire time. There is nothing to forgive. Just take him back. Don't let your pride consume you.