Is it smart or stupid to put no pressure on the guy you like?

I e-mailed the guy I like and I told him if he was busy - I would not care if he did not reply to my e-mails. My friend says guys don't like me because I'm too nice.


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  • Some guys want to be pursued, though most r not interested in a real relationship in those cases. But I think if don't try then u'll always wish u had. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. As the saying goes. But if u do wish to pursue be assertive. Let there no question as to ur intentions. Then if it don't work out, at lest u tried.

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What Guys Said 24

  • Your friend is silly. If guys don't like you for being too nice that's their problem. Of course you'll have the idiots who think being nice means you're making advances or are flirting with them and then will feel like you betrayed them somehow if/when you don't want a relationship. Those kinds of guys may feel like you lead them on... let me repeat... they are idiots.

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  • That comes across as impatient, a bit needy-like you need his validation that he likes you. And also in saying you don't care if he doesn't respond, that shows you DO care but you're trying too hard to act cool like you have other options.

    In short a turnoff to any guy that hears that and he'll probably leave you be.

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  • Those girls are talking about themselves!
    Guys adore girls who are nice. Why every girl try to behave their best in front of her crush?
    Men are not like women who turned down nice guys!

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  • Oh, you told him you would not care?

    Women are so stupid. When you tell a man you do not care, he takes it to mean that YOU DO NOT CARE. Thus, since you do not care, there is no point in him responding, since you do not care. It doesn't matter to you whether or not he responds, that is what you told him.

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  • The seed has been planted, they now know you like them. Wait be cool and dont be too pushy with a response.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I am assuming your friend is a female, and in that case do not listen to her advice, do not listen to any females advice. I just realized this answer just backfired on myself... dang

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    • Your case is an exception, lady ;)

      I have seen only few women, who understand us men :)

    • Also in my opinion the guys here seem just as incorrect too.

      Don't know who to trust anymore.

      I'd advise to be easy going and keeping it under little or no pressure.

  • What kind of pressure are you talking about? If you like a guy, tell him. Just be honest and yourself - that's not pressure.

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  • Smart and nice are two different things. Here you're describing neither :P what's the issue exactly, my friend?

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  • If you don't care if he replies or not, that means you don't really like him that much. He will feel that.

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  • I think guys want to know that YOU value your time and the effort you put into writing them, and therefore expect an answer. You would from anyone else, right? Aren't you worth their time and attention?
    I get that you probably want to give the impression that you don't care, kinda like saying you have a life and are not waiting by your phone for their answer, which is of itself attractive. But I wouldn't try to give them the idea that you don't count, bc we train others to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Believe that you have high value and they will sense that and be more likely to respond. If they don't, just say "NEXT!"
    Best of luck hun.

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