Is high number of sexual partners a deal breaker for you? If so, how much is too high in your opinion?

I noticed guys don't care about the sexual numbers a girl has, which makes me wonder why am i saving myself for that one special guy if he might not gonna appreciate it anyway.
I would like someone who has the same views on sex as me. I'm not looking for a virgin obviously, just someone who doesn't do casual sex.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you've got a good outlook on it, and most every guy I've met cares, but they won't admit it unless you're 1 on 1 talking for real. Even then, they usually say that it matters, but only over whatever number do they have strong doubts. I'm 27, if a girl is equal to my age, 5 partners is where I draw the line, though I'm really not crazy about that. I like knowing someone I might fall hard for doesn't have the baggage that comes with sleeping around and casual sex, that has values and views similar to my own on the subject. There's a pretty exhaustive list of reasons why you want someone that takes the most private and personal part of there life with sincerity and wisdom, who doesn't treat it like a vending machine. Personally, I think women are more rooted in selective partnership than men by biology alone. Women have an ideal fertility once a month, nine months of raising that child, and a vested interest in A. Keeping a long term partner (for survival/protection) and B. Raising a child (minimum several years of constant investment) to carry on their genes.

    Having said that, it's nice we have a lot more options in the modern world, can plan our families easier and still enjoy having sex with someone we love. Having birth control and condoms doesn't erase the hard wired biology we've evolved with, and we shouldn't ignore it's lessons, the ones that kept us alive and thriving to this point, solely because we can interrupt nature's cycle or have safe abortions doesn't mean we should throw away biology's wisdom.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You shouldn't be worrying about what the other person might dislike or dissaprove about you and your past. You should do things FOR YOU. If you want to save yourself, that's ok. It's important you share views with your partner on different topics, so don't feel pressured to do something you don't want to do. And if you decide you do want to start having sex, then knock yourself out and if later on you find a guy and he dissaproves, then he wouldn't be the right guy for you. It's that simple. And actually I think there's more guys that preffer their girlfriend not having that much sexual parters, even though they've had lots more ¬¬ not everyone of course, but some. So don't worry about someone who is not even in the picture right now. Do what feels right for YOU :)

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What Guys Said 22

  • Hmmm i think they do but trying to play smart asses here by saying they don't and encourage the other to have as much encounters as they want, not to mention that no worries it won't affect you or label you in anything or. we're in 2018 bla bla.. biggest bullshit i ever heard both sides men and woman.

    Indirectly that would benefit us men sexually for sure if all women were like that. I love sex who wouldn't want to experiment.. but that's a very low way of thinking. ...
    Psychologically, having to many encounters unfortunately ruins us, we won't get to be satisfied by one person knowing there is a better other person, you will be labelled unfortunately cz humans talk gossip and slander.. they aren't angels.. i can go on and on about the repercussions

    As for your question.. yes a high number its a deal breaker if im looking for something serious with that person.. i dont view her as good material anymore but well it also depends.. got to be fair... example was she in a legit relationship!
    Time gap between those sexual partners, her age..

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  • It is all personal choice and morals. You need to o what is right for you, it is a choice that is made to easily in today's world I believe. If it is important to you then wait, the right guy will come along, and remember you do not need a guy to make you a person or to justify your life choices. At the same point if you choose to be with a guy before marriage, just make sure it is someone that is not a total jerk or asshole.

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  • “Guys don’t care about the sexual numbers a girl has”? That is DEFINITELY NOT true. I care a lot, and depending on her past, can constitute for grounds of a dealbreaker and automatic breakup. Men who have no options don’t care, but high quality self respecting men do.

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  • What do you mean you noticed that guys don't care about a girl's sexual past? A vast majority of guys on this planet would be uncomfortable dating or marrying a girl who has had a lot of sexual partner. I don't care much about someone's sexual background, but for a lot of guys it is a big deal breaker.

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  • Yes, it is. I care. Let me say this: it depends, but 2-digit number is too high. Sadly, it’s also common.
    I don’t do casual sex, I hate it. I don’t really care if other people do that, their (poor) choice, whatever, but in the second when it starts to be mine problem, like girl I might like or anything, then I care.

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  • yes it is, but it also depends what kind of partners they were, if they were, friends with benefits, causal sex and hook ups, then im never going to date her, no matter if the count is high or average, becasue i can never date a woman, who can easily take her clothes off with a stranger in bed

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  • Well for me it is a deal breaker... i wouldn't like if the girl im dating had like 20 different dicks in her... the less sexual partners she had the better

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  • When it becomes an addiction.
    When that person is influenced by past lovers.
    When that person is full of virus (STI, STD)
    When that person didn't gave me a chance in the past and now is returning to me like a trash
    Anything else?

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  • Well I appreciate it but there is no numbers, when u really fall in love with someone and they someone is totally into u then no one cares about it but for one another only.

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  • It can be a deal breaker... it depends on the guy...
    Usually guys tend to be disappointed and lose interest in a girl who has had many partners...
    As I said it can depend...

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  • Statistically, the more sexual partners, the more likely a marriage will be unhappy and end in divorce

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  • It can be. To me it demonstrates that she doesn't tend to stick with someone too long or she gets bored easily...

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  • Circumstances in which she had the high number and the high number are both important to me and can be a deal breaker in themselves.

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  • To me it is. I don't know about a particular number though. Any double digit number I think would make me uncomfortable.

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  • Its fine as long as there are two things guaranteed.

    1 We stay together forever faithfully and make a family.
    2 There are no STD's.

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  • I don't care. If she's clean of STDs we're good. So basically as long as she used a condom, no problem

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  • So you wonder why you're saving yourself but also don't want someone who has casual sex while you wish you'd just go ahead and have casual sex?

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    • No, i dont save myself for someone special just so i would break up with him and start sleeping around. I'm ok with sleeping with one guy for the rest of my life, and i don't want some one who do one night stands.

    • I still don't understand your problem. Just wait. It sounds like you've nothing to lose.

  • Nope, not a deal breaker

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  • some people prefer low numbers and some don't care

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  • The number does not matter

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  • Definitely a deal breaker

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  • There is a difference between being a non-virgin and a massive skank.
    You don't have to "save yourself" so the seal isn't broken, just don't go out and become a worn out overused human trampoline.

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What Girls Said 6

  • No. I don't ask about previous sexual partners and it doesn't matter for me. If they don't have any STDs, I'm good.

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    • I don't have casual sex myself and have only slept with three people, but I don't mind if the other person has had casual sex before.

  • Ha! I've had soooooooooo many men (& women) slut-shame the hell outta me for my number. Either I'm called names or men will say: "I don't like a loose, diseased vagina." Or they say: "No way I'm dating a girl who's fucked more than _____ people, I'm no cuck!"

    Then the women will just agree & thumbs up whatever degrading things the men say. Or they'll talk about how you're "cheating" on your future spouse/true love by giving up your goods to everyone else.

    I think sex is what you make it. If you want it to be something super special & with as few partners as possible, OK. If you want to fuck an entire army, go right ahead! Men & women should have equal opportunity to have sex however they please. As long as every act is... Safe, Sane, & Consensual! That's not just within the bdsm community peeps.

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    • This is so sad little lol, maybe they were jealous that you've had more partners than them 😂

    • Show All
    • Apologies for my gender their actions lol

    • @XCalB It's not just your gender, buddy. But thank you, I appreciate the concern. Some people are just haters drinking their haterade. Gender has nothing to do with it.

  • Not really. As long as they don't have STDs it doesn't affect me so whatever.

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  • Well... Honestly 1 and over
    Yeah im the jealous one and keep saying why not me etc

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  • Well seeing the number of guys here who would dump me over how many guys I've slept with makes me sad.
    Honestly, I'll just lie from this point forward when someone potential asks me about my number or partners!
    Is that what you want? A lie? Guys that what you're going to get from a lot of females because we know how much you care about our stupid number.
    Wouldn't you prefer honesty?
    Anyways...

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  • Doesn’t matter to me. My boyfriend’s been with over 100 people. I still love him the same.

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