Does it matter to you whether your partner's family likes you or not?

I guess this includes whether you like them as people too. But what about if you're like chalk and cheese. They're quite loud, outgoing, have totally different values. Maybe you don't communicate well with them/you tend to have misunderstandings because you're totally different people? I mean, my dream would be that my partner's parents are at least somewhat like-minded in terms of moral values etc. But I know that's not often the case. My partners parents are just so massively different to myself and totally different to how my own parents are/how my own parents behave. I dunno, it sometimes worries me for some reason. What's your take?

  • I'd rather that I at least got along with my partners parents
    Vote A
  • I don't mind if we have nothing in common/ things get a little awkward as a result
    Vote B
  • If I don't get along with her/his parents I'd be tempted to discontinue the relationship.
    Vote C
  • It really matters to me that I get along well with his/her parents.
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
2618

Most Helpful Guy

  • Their problem not mine

    1|2
    0|1
    • Huge problem for you if you're with her for more than a few months.

    • Show All
    • It's fine for a short-term deal, but long term, you're going to have to deal with them more. And in a marriage, you better be sure, because you don't just marry a person, you marry their whole family.

    • @HikerDude not if they don't want to be involved

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd rather that I at least got along with my partners parents.

    0|1
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • it matters if:
    - family is important and going to be present in their child's life
    - if they can't at least be civil and coexist

    if the child doesn't have much of a relationship or hte parents aren't going to be involved in their life then i guess it doesn't matter if the partner likes the parents. but generally there has to be at least a tolerance of each other for a relationship to work

    0|0
    0|0
  • It is a lot better if you get along with them, at least superficially since your partner is normally going to want to spend at least some holidays with them and it's better if you don't dread these occasions or that things are so bad that you can't/don't want to be around them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes , it does matters greatly , although , those family members who are strangely discordant towards other family members without warrant , they pose as disruptors of unity. Then again , not everyone intentionally invited into a family supports the legacy of that particular unit. So in retrospect , they in turn become the diruptor. In section or at whole , a family with a lot of disruptions through out , is a disfuntional family unit.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I tend to be a bit old school and try to have a mutual understanding with her parents. If I am going to spend the rest of my life with someone I'd rather not have monster in laws trying to kill me at every family outing

    0|0
    0|0
  • As much as I would prefer they liked me, they can go ahead and hate me if they never came over to me expressing so. Same as any part of my own family. Heck, for anyone. Just keep your hate to yourself and I’ll put up with you just fine.

    0|0
    0|0
  • For me it matters a lot if I get along with the parents.

    If I moderately get along with them, I have confidence that my charm will win them over! ;-)

    0|0
    0|0
  • To me, so far, it would matter, but not completely. I would settle for just above civil and mutual respect. Maybe keep from talking behind my back all the time, or badmouthing me to the wife or grandkids (if I have any). But the wife would have to be absolutely incredible for me to consider it.

    I’m usually the guy all the parents love. Or at least I was at one point (I haven’t dated in ages, so I have no idea if that still holds true or not ).

    I did date one girl who’s grandparents thought I was fake and stuck up... all I did was behave politely and play with the puppy (and giggle like a little boy at all the puppy kisses and excitement). From that they got “stuck up.” Go figure. I had very little to be stuck up about in my life.

    If the girl and I had lasted longer as an item, it might have been a bigger deal to me. Though I doubt that it would be a dealbreaker if they didn’t care much for me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honestly, it will be much easier if the SO's parents get along. I personally would love that

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sure I'd want to, I wouldn't hang out with them, but as long as we can be cook

    0|0
    0|0
  • U cnt please everybody. U would just be miseriable dont lworrie about what they think just be the good person u r

    0|0
    0|0
  • No I know that if a woman really care about you her family will respect you relationship whether they like you or not. if the woman doesn't care much about you she would leave you for them. I had a woman who i cared about for few years started friendship then we started dating she left me in a heart beat when her mother didn't like me. while another girl i dated her family didn't like me she worked hard to make her mother like me and introduced me to the important people to her in her family as her lover. so no i dont care honestly.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would prefer them to like me-but that's not likely in the cards

    0|0
    0|0
  • IMHO, I'd just as soon to be respected whether they like me or not.

    0|0
    0|0
  • At least getting along for me to marry their daughter...

    0|0
    0|0
  • No but it helps if they do

    0|0
    0|0
  • yes it does matters to me

    0|0
    1|0
  • I'm not dating her family so I don't give a shit.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 25

  • I dont mind. As long as they aren't hurting anyone i dont care. Ill be polite. Im dating their son not them.

    2|1
    0|0
    • Good point, but if kids are in the picture for you at some point? Wouldn't it maybe bother you a little if you didn't approve of their grand-parenting styles with your children?

    • The relationship id with the son. If you are together and have kids hopefully you can compromise. Indont like my hubbys family so we talk and figure it out. I show respect for his mom and bro but they understand that what i say my little boy (2yrs of age) can see or listen to is my say. If they dont agree they dont have to be near him. My hubby can go with them when he want qe may not tag along tho. We all have that understanding and are able to respect each other. (Respect does not mean like)

  • I find it important for me, personally. I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where I have a bad dynamic with the in-laws, especially if they’re the type to be super involved. I can see that being a headache if you don’t get along. Then it’s like being married to 3 people at once instead of just one. Maybe some people can deal with that, but I sure wouldn’t be able to.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It does matter to me that they like me but obviously there are many factors beyond my control (or factors that I wouldn't want to change) that may prevent this. I would at least like it if things are generally not awkward for the simple reason that it'd be such a headache every time I have to see them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • it can really cause issues, even if it sounds like it wouldn't. it's true that in the long run it'd be helpful and just one less thing to worry about, but overall it doesn't matter. i just know it's caused some shit in my relationship, apparently feeling like it was as if he had to choose sides when he loved both, so that made him stressed and me for him. it's a lot easier to at least reach common ground, thankfully i've done that

    0|0
    0|0
  • Heavily. I swear they make your family hell. The only way a guy can actually save us from his family I'm this case is by moving to a new place changing his phone number and basically cut all his ties with family. I wouldn't want him to do that! So yeah.

    Toxic in-laws are the worst.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It would matter to me very much. I wouldn't want to be uncomfortable for the rest of my life and have my kids be treated poorly because of that too. I've experienced it first hand and its very sad. Wouldn't want to go through the same thing by my partners family. I'd try to get them to like me and find out why they didn't approve of me. If it fails i would have to leave my partner.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Of course, everyone is different and comes from a different background... but if he insists on you getting along with his parents bc it means a great deal to him, then its a must to develop a good successful relationship. You don't have to agree with them on everything, but you can still get along and respect them. If that's something you're not willing to work around, then its better to just let him know, and see what happens from there. I hope this helps!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think that as long as we can get along despite having clashing personalities (example they're party animals and I'm more of a homebody), it should be fine. I think problems start when people have different morals and family cultures.

    That said, as long as my partner is not rude to my family I don't care if they are besties or not.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because of the fact that I will be marrying into the family, it is absolutely vital that both they and I like each other.
    Fortunately that is very much the case, indeed I am treated as a daughter by my fiancé's entire family.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Their opinion of me wouldn't affect my view of my relationship, but I'd still make an effort to give them reason to like me or at least not dislike me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My partners family doesn't fully accept Gays and lesbians. So they don't fully accept us. But they have learnt to put their differences aside lol

    0|1
    0|0
  • I mean, I'd hate for them to not like me, and I think it would be a bit of a problem, but I don't think I'd break up with my partner because of it - unless they tried to cause problems or anything

    0|0
    0|0
  • That would be nice but my parents wouldn't like her if they knew we were dating. I kinda hope her parents do maybe but... We don't know.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I’ve been in several relationships where the parents “tolerated” me because I’m different, or in the case of my last marriage, they hated me. It made things very difficult and they undermined me when it came to the kids. I have since remarried and my in laws (including siblings) love me. I find it wonderful. I’m the cool aunt. We can sit and drink together and have great conversations. They’ve even included me and my kids in the will. 😭 my husband plans on adopting my kids and if I have the chance, I’ll adopt his. So before this marriage, I’d say it would have been nice, but it was pivotal for us.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Of course it does to me... These are the people that raised my man... Yes

    0|0
    0|0
  • It matters to me, definitely. But if they didn't like me, that would not stop me from being with him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Of course you want to get along with the in laws. They are part of who your partner is. They made them. I don’t mean in terms of genetics so no adopted children get upset with me. I mean they were the ones who their personalities developed. That personality you can’t get enough of. They usually love that person as much as you do. And normally your partner loves them. So to have discomfort among the two is no fun. If you can find some way to like each other that’s fantastic but not always realistic. Tolerating is next best. If you can both spend time with your partner together and not tear your hair out. That’ll do fine for the most part. Personally I’ve dated a guy who’s mom hated me! Openly hated me. But she hates everyone he brought home. This time with my fiancé is different. I’ve made dinner for his mother. She and I talk on the phone etc we are developing a friendship. I’m beyond thankful for.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i mean if there is no reason for them
    not to like me. i would love for them to like me but if not then i can't do anything about that

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't mind if we have nothing in common/ things get a little awkward as a result

    0|0
    0|0
  • yes it matters as what if we were to get married and they didn't like me then they would never approve of the marriage and ever like me

    0|1
    0|0
  • Family is the most important thing ever.
    They wil help you if you break up with anyone or are in a big fight.
    They are always there.

    0|0
    0|0
  • "When you marry a man, you marry his whole family." Just my two cents.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think that's a culturally dependant question.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I prefer they like me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would like to be loved by them. Because they will be my family.

    1|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...