How can I get dates?

When I go to the bar I wind up with a number or guys flirting with me, and trying to buy me drinks. Most of them start by trying to grind me on the dance floor, that scares me. I'm not that type of girl, I don't believe in one night stands. I have integrity, but I'm worried the world just sees me as a slut. I'm 19 years old, 5 feet 6 inches tall, about 127 pounds and have brown hair and hazel eyes. A fair number of guys have called me pretty, but I have a hard believing it since no one seems to want even a casual relationship, or to even go out on dates. My personality well I talk to much, but am quiet and shy around the guys I'm really attracted to. I'm always trying to make friends with everyone around me, but only people older than me seem to continue conversations with me. It's scary how do I turn things around and become likable to my peers, and get dates?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Bars and clubs are horrible places to get dates. I have tried everything from dressing nicely but not provocatively, ignoring sexual innuendos, carrying nice conversations and just overall trying to avoid anything that makes it appear that I am a good time girl, and pretty much I have found, most guys go to clubs in search of a good time, not a girlfriend. Keep in mind, some of these guys could be great if you met them in a different setting, but they have this crazy idea that meeting a girl in a club is a recipe for insta-sex.

    It seems we are in the midst of a time where guys are really enjoying and looking for no-strings sex and FWB and, apparently, finding a lot of opportunity for it too. It is frustrating for a girl who wants to date and have a relationship. All I can say is you need to "next" the inappropriate guys and jerks until you find one that is sincere. It has taken me two years of pretty steady dating to find my boyfriend. I am attractive and even with that, I mainly find guys are looking for casual situations. Hang in there.


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What Guys Said 2

  • How about, instead of taking the stereotypical (lazy) role of women in a relationship and you try asking guys out instead of waiting for them to make a move, guys aren't scared of girls who are forward, and many guys are also quite blind to womans hints.

    • This is an awesome answer....he's right....i answered partly as a typical woman who doesn't make the approach and I WON'T unless he has made strong implications such as buying me a drink....even if he's looking and smiling....i'm thinking why won't he come over and talk to me or why won't he buy me a drink? GREAT ANSWER!

    • Thanks for the wise words. I have been trying to approach guys, however my outgoing personality melts into shyness when I try to approach a guy. Now how to figu talk

    • Haha, it happens to us all, just go for it, it can only get easier

  • How do you get into the bar if you are 19? Anyway the main problem is that you are going to a bar to meet guys. If you want to meet guys that don't think of you as a slut, you need to try and meet them in different ways, join a community group or do some volunteer work or something. Spend some time in a book store or at the library, or any place where you think you might find guys that you would like.

    Bottom line is most people don't go to bars looking to start a relationship.

    • The drinking age where I live is 18, and when I go to the libraries,and book stores everyone is mostly focussed on finding what books and information they are looking for. I am trying to get involved in my community. I understand that bars aren't where you go to find a relationship but it is a place to socailize and there are lots a people there, and I used to live in a small town where the only hangout place for young adults 18+ was basically the bar.

    • Show All
    • Yes, I considered the possibility she wasn't from the U.S, but I didn't know if she was not American or if she simply had a fake ID, so I asked.

    • Bars I usually go for karaoke cause its fun

What Girls Said 2

  • Just relax and focus on some of the things here.

    Your first attention should be focusing on that what kind of companion your guy is into.

    Because your fun, intelligence, and sense for exciting will make a major role in this. Share different activities with that guy, let him feel free to behave around you in the way he wants, otherwise he may feel unpleasant with you.

    That’s very healthy for building you relationship. Make up few jokes, laugh with him, and show him your sense of humor. He will love it, believe me.

    Guys do love good sex, but also healthy appearance and trust in the relationship. Remember that.

    Do not allow yourself to ruin a good opportunity to do something that is important for you. Many girls magazines gives so much useless advice about guys.

    It's often difficult for a girl to know exactly what guys like.

    These were few tips in one huge subject and a big mystery in general - what is that guys like.

    One day maybe that secret whole will be discovered, and come out from the shadows of the unknown. But until then, you’ll have to learn from these advices, and walk step by step towards the secret of what guys want. If you’re interesting in finding more about what is necessary to find or keep the guy you think you deserve, check out this link

    I hope I helped you with this, because you seems like a lovely girl :) Good luck!

  • try hanging out at something like a buffalo wild wings on a game night...this way there's no dance floor grinding and any guy who wants to approach you will do so because he wants to talk to you and get to know you. yes, some men may still have an ulterior motive but if a guys going to give up focusing on a game to sit with you knowing you're not going to get up and wiggle your body on a dance floor then you're giving yourself better odds that he's genuine.

    you are actually facing the disadvantages of being pretty...its presumed that:

    you're probably stupid

    you're probably a b*tch

    you probably have a boyfriend

    you probably have a boyfriend and you're lying that you don't

    you probably want a guy with more money or a better job or a nicer car

    All the things that might go through your head before approaching a good looking guy, is what they're thinking and why only the one's who only want sex "hit" on you.

    Hang in there! The right one will come along! Good Luck!