What if his actions don't coincide with his words?

I finally let my guard down around this new guy. Everything was going great and I thought he liked me... Until he told me he liked a friend of mine. I was going to back off but he keeps inviting me to go hang out with him. His actions make me think he's into me but his confession confused me. Help!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I put myself in a situation similar to this. He knows what he wants, but is unsure of what he can have. He wants to test deeper waters without sacrificing his pride. By diverting his alleged affection to someone else, he can approach you with a fail-safe mentality. If you reject him, he can always say "Oh but I never really liked you in the first place."

    Another possibility is that he might be intimidated by you and/or your social status. He might think you are too good for him. By giving you doubts about his availability, he artificially leveled the playing field. Suddenly you aren't the only one in demand. It's an ego thing.

    The final possibility is that he is using you to get near your friend, which you would have already realized.

    • So, in your opinion, what should I do? Should I continue to hang out like normal (let him flirt and flirt back)? Or should I back off and let him decide if he wants this other girl (the friend of mine)? I'm not the type of girl who plays games, so I don't want to play the jealous card and flirt with other guys. I just don't know if he wants me to back off, or if he wants me as a friend, or if he sees me as more... Does that make sense?!

    • Be open supportive of the fact he likes your friend and see how it goes. That is the only way to find out where he stands without coming off as confrontational. The truth will reveal itself.

What Girls Said 1

  • he might be using you to get to your friend or he likes hanging out with you but that does not always mean he likes you...or maybe he does like you too ha ha I had a guy friend in high school who liked 4-5 girls on the tennis team...sometimes guys like a bunch of girls at the same time. lol