Is being smart an advantage or disadvantage towards getting someone?

I hear often how people want someone who's smart but they're smart people who feel they have to dumb down the conversation in order to get someone as who they meet can't keep up with an intelligent conversation. Is being smart an advantage or disadvantage towards getting someone?

  • Advantage
    Vote A
  • Disadvantage
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd say it's an advantage. Being smart means having a wider range of conversation topics available when idle gossip gets boring and politics gets heated.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • if you're a woman? i don't think it helps really. being smart isn't really something that men tend to look for. they want someone attractive, friendly, and sweet. sure, some may want an intelligent woman too, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a man who puts that trait at number 1. and even the ones who say they do... i reaaaallly doubt that's the 100% truth there.

    for a man, however... being smart is a very valuable trait and DOES help in dating. a smart man is interesting to women and will be able to communicate in a way that differentiates himself from the rest of the pack.

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    • None of what you said is true. I'm a smart guy and intelligence is one of the top things I look for in a girl. And girls do not look for intelligence at all. Every time I try to have an intellectual convo with a girl it always dies down really fast because she immediately loses interest and its clear that she just wants me to make her laugh and not have to think about anything. And I always have to dumb down the conversation so much.

      Being smart is a huge disadvantage because most people are not smart.

      Girls only care about looks, humor, money and social status.

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    • @dragonxbars you don't know me at all... so why are you saying i'd definitely go with some famous dude over a shy one? frankly, the shy guy sounds better- but if he has no friends, that's something that worries me. if he can't relate to a single other person... i'd have to wonder why. having a close friend isn't a marker of social status... it tells me about if he can be close with someone else, trust them, if he can bond with someone else- and all of that is really important to me.

    • I wasn't seriously addressing you personally, I just know how most girls are. No offense.

      But having no friends doesn't mean he can't relate. It just might mean he hasn't yet.

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What Guys Said 35

  • To be honest it really depends me personally my girlfriend is extremely intelligent and I love it but I know some guys that want to feel like they're smarter than their girlfriends because they feel Superior but hey if you end up liking a girl or guy like that that's up to you LOL

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  • it's a disadvantage. smart people like to think things through. they try to work with logic, cause logic is what helps them everywhere else in life. if you wanna get with someone, you gotta let your gut feel take over, cause if you let your intellect handle that, you'll fail.

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    • that's why being dumb is better to get with someone xD since you don't even have the capacity to overthink stuff ^^

  • Disadvantage. No person in the long, sad history of mankind has ever looked across the room and picked out the "smart looking" mate. Point blank, period, end of this ignorant fucking story. Even evolutionary biology suggests as much. How willfully ignorant must you be to disregard eons of proof?

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  • I'm just generalizing here, there are several exceptions:

    Smart girl + dumb guy = GTFO
    Dumb girl + Smart guy = success
    Both smart: low success or mayhem (both thinks they're smarter than the other due to godcomplex)

    I'm assuming all 3

    by the way we talking iq? street? books?

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  • Depends on the type of intelligence. Social intelligence, definitely. Academic intelligence can help if someone already has social intelligence. However, if the person doesn’t have social intelligence, the academic intelligence can actually hamper their ability to develop the social intelligence.

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  • Depends really, self-defined "intelligent women" usually can't shut up about it or are super arrogant, which is gonna drive anyone crazy.

    Men don't really care about smarts anyways, I mean it's nice to have for your sake and some guys do, but looks and youth definitely carry more weight. I've once heard someone say "there isn't a single college degree out there that'll turn a man on"

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    • Well when or if u make it to my age , your experience will tell u your attitude sucks and people dont like ur arrogance

    • I'd hope to make it to your age, but you never know I guess. I don't consider it arrogant to say that in general, men appreciate youth and beauty over intelligence, but there are always exceptions to the rule

  • Attraction is much more important.
    if you're smart you can develop your attraction, and then taylor your conversation to fit the situation.
    So being smart is always an advantage.

    Love can't start 'till attraction does.

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  • I guess that a genuinely smart person can understand in which cases he/she should dumb down and don't show one's intelligence and in which they don't need to and can hold some intelligent conversation.

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  • I would never "dumb myself down" to be with a woman. I would rather be alone. My advice to women is the same -- be yourself and you'll attract a guy just as smart as you are.

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  • If you are a guy, it is an advantage, if you are a girl, you can be so smart as to intimidate the average guy.

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    • If a man is smart, he wouldn't be intimidated by a smart woman!
      Seems to me that someone would become bored of someone that is not up to par with your level of intelligence. it's all good to "dumb down" when you are out chatting with people, but to dumb down to be in a relationship is awful!
      I think that it is a shame to see women pretend to be dumb.
      Don't get me wrong, it's no fun if someone pushes in your face their intelligence. They are smart, they are A&&Holes.
      And also, a smart woman will build up her man and not tear him down!
      Cheers!

  • I would like a career motivated, independent, and intelligent woman.

    I have a friend who only talks about useless facts and has to tell you every detail he knows about every topic... That gets very annoying... Don't do that

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  • It's a much bigger advantage if you're a man.

    Speaking as a man who highly values intelligence in a woman, I'll admit that men generally don't value it as much as women.

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  • I think it depends on the gender. Smart/intelligent girls are usually intimidating to guys, so I'd say *in general* it's more of a disadvantage to girls.

    For guys, intelligence *can be* a huge advantage in my experience. I've caught and kept more girls' attention with my intelligence than probably any other of my attributes. The problem is that male intelligence is often accompanied by arrogance, and arrogance is a huge turnoff to anyone. Too often, I see intelligent guys try to impress a girl by establishing their 'superiority' over her to make themselves look good while only demonstrating their self-centered incompetence. But rather than beating a girl over the head with his 'smarts,' if a guy uses his intelligence to enlighten her to new and greater things and expand her mind, it can be a very attractive characteristic.

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  • disadvantage in general because most people will be harder to connect with, you will date less, but it's better for getting with other smart people

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    • Yes but u wouldn't have the brains to know if u got a good woman in front of u or be able to know to ask ur self this.. so that cancels the question out

    • @OneHungRanger the question doesn't say finding a good partner, it says finding someone. As a less intelligent person you will be able to find someone easier, not speaking to the quality of that someone

    • It applies to anyone..

  • It's an advantage unless the other person is subconsciouse about how smart they are.

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  • I think it can be both if you can't have a conversation with the person u talking with then it won't work it's down to if the person u pick can entertain u through convos

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  • I think in a lot of ways the old addage is true.
    "Ignorance is bliss."

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  • It is an advantage only if you can utilize it to your own benefit, by having the right attitude

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  • C) Depends on whether someone likes smart people or dumb people.

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  • Whenever you ask someone what kind of person they want to end up, they always say someone smart as a criteria. However, it can also be intimidating

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  • The advantage is to know when to be dumb and When not to be !!!

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  • Psychological Fact: Intelligent people tend to belittle themselves as opposed to stupid people who think they're brilliant.

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  • I wouldn't consider myself as intelligent but I would consider myself as a guy with different perspective and different approach to life, and not just life but everything and it makes my life a living hell since i overthink everything and can't keep up with my expectations and couldn't keep a stable relationship because of mine tendency to sometimes just dissappear for a couple of days, I sometimes need a time alone, but I found my conversation skills to be very appealing to certain women.. I'm still sounding like an arrogant jerk

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    • I know I made many grammatical errors please excuse me, English isn't my first language

  • If I act smart she may or may not start to think i'm boring/a huge nerd, so I have to act average to sound normal

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  • “feel they have to dumb down the conversation”

    Sounds like an arrogant tool.

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  • Einstein had a pretty active sex life so I would say advantage.

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  • I think it depends on wether you want them as a boy friend or a one night stand.

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  • Intelligence will more reasons to not be in a relationship but will also help you find one.

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  • Intelligence is sexy to me.

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  • I overthink things because of being smart.

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What Girls Said 8

  • It depends what type of intelligence you are talking about. My cousin is very smart academically and professionally but socially she has always been very dumb and transparent. When she was in university she had 40 guys chasing after her. She lost her virginity to her husband after 6 years of relationship and dating.

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    • Being smart is advantageous at getting someone, but not keeping them.
      Smart people have a tendency to think they're right, and are more prone to belittling their partner for their "petty emotional outbursts." smart people like to sit on their high horse and think their problems are more important just because they can explain them better. Smart people are less likely to put emotional effort into a relationship because they believe that they aren't responsible for the other person's emotional regulation, which to a point is fair, but the point of a relationship IS to be and feel emotionally supported. Been on both sides of this.

    • Oops, o thought this was a general reply

  • Paired with confidence, being smart gives anyone an advantage in general and not just getting someone.

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  • An advantage, as long as you don't overthink things

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  • Disadvantage! From my (limited) experience, men tend to find it intimidating which is a bummer.

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  • It is a plus

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  • Advantage and no doubt about it

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  • Disadvantage, over analyzing and over thinking stuff occurs

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  • It can be an advantage because like you said, smart people tend to have more things to discuss. However, intelligence can also be a disadvantage if they are arrogant and belittle people around them.

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