Anyone have success with online dating? Stories please.

Just wondering if most people have had success with online dating and what sites seem best because there are so many out there. And how does it normally work you post an add with pics and then does the guy normally contact the girl or do women often contact guys as well? Feel free to share pointers and /or stories of success or failure stories


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What Girls Said 1

  • I met my ex-boyfriend online, but it wasn't through a dating site, it was just on a random chat room and he happened to live in the next town over. We chatted online for awhile and eventually met up and ended up dating for 5 years.

    As far as dating sites go, you'll probably find that you have to contact girls more than they'll contact you. Generally, there's more guys on those sites than girls, so girls end up getting a lot of messages and so a lot of them are less likely to initiate contact with a guy. Because girls tend to get a lot of messages, you need to write something that will stick out. Don't send her a one-liner or a generic message. A lot of guys send out mass-messages (the same message to pretty much every girl on the site), so girls look for something that's unique/interesting and shows her that the guy actually looked at her profile. Tell her a bit about yourself and what you're looking for, and then comment or ask questions about something on something from her profile (and not just "you look hot" but something like, "I see that you're into hiking. I love the outdoors---I go camping at Evergreen National Park every year, they have some great hiking trails there. Have you ever been?")---or whatever. Something that shows you're interesting, fun, have something in common with her, are able to start a conversation, and by asking her questions about herself will give her something to respond to when she writes you back.

    If she likes your message, she'll check out your profile. Again, a generic profile isn't going to get much attention. Include a variety of recent, clear pictures of yourself, have at least one that shows your face clearly and at least one that shows your body. Avoid shirtless photos (unless perhaps it was taken at the beach), because it generally comes off as the guy being vain and trying to show off. Photos that show you doing something fun are nice because they give off the impression that you're a fun and outgoing person. Avoid pictures of you with hot chicks, even if they're just friends, because it can be a little intimidating.

    As for the content of your profile, generally sites offer you a few options to say what you're looking for (friendship, dating, long term relationship, marriage, casual encounters, etc.). What you choose may affect whether or not someone thinks you're looking for the same thing. What I mean is, if you're looking for dating or a long-term relationship, but would also be open to a casual encounter, choosing casual encounters may scare off the girls looking for dating and relationships because they'll see you as a guy who likes one night stands and might only be interested in sex. I'd probably leave that option out. On the other hand, if you're mainly looking for dating and relationships, including friendship is a good idea because girls will be more interested if there's less pressure that they MUST connect with you on a romantic level or else you won't be interested.

    • The main section of your profile is to let girls know what an awesome and interesting person you are! We want to know what you do for a living (Are you a student? What area do you work in?), what are your ambitions or goals in life? What kind of person are you/how would your friends describe you? What do you do for fun? What are your hobbies (generic hobbies are okay, but try to include some things that make you a bit more unique. Most guys will list stuff like "sports, cars, video games, music"

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    • Interactions to the real world. Exchanging more pictures, webcamming, and/or checking out each others' profiles will give both of you the chance to see that the person really is who they say they are. Flirting is fine, but depending on the girl, talking about sex too early might be a red flag to her that you're only interested in sex. Meeting someone from the Internet can be intimidating, so let the girl know you'd like to meet up with her, but don't be too pushy about it because she might pull

    • Back if she's feeling pressured. When you do decide to meet up, she'll probably feel more comfortable if you meet in a public place and might prefer to meet you there (rather than you picking her up).

      I know I wrote a lot, but hopefully at least some of it proves to be helpful.

      (by "checking out each others' profiles" I was referring to on facebook if you use it).

What Guys Said 1

  • Yup. Although this was almost a decade ago. I don't really know the details of "how", exactly. I met my wife through a personal ad she had posted on AOL. We've been married 8 years.