Dating multiple guys - how far can you go?

I've been on a couple dates with guys from online, and I'm not sure how I feel about them, so I plan to keep dating them both, and possibly others. But if you're seeing more than one person at a time, how much can you do with them without leading them on? I wouldn't have sex with someone I wasn't exclusive with, but can you kiss two guys you're dating? It feels like it would be sort of slutty and wrong, but otherwise, if you go multiple dates with nothing more than a hug hello you're sort of just platonically hanging out. I cuddled with one guy during a movie (he initiated it). Does that give him the impression that I really like him when I'm really undecided? Was that okay?

Neither has any reason to think we're exclusive; we met online and have only been on one date each.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Look love, you need to understand the way the human mind works. The more dates and men you add into your hole multiple relationship experiment your trying out, the less likely you are to appreciate the individual.

    Society/religion (christianity and judism more than most) doesn't dictate that 1 person per person is the CORRECT PROPORTION for any old reason, we say it becuase we as humans are curious creatures and can easily become selfish when provided with too much.

    If your dating more than one guy then it makes it very easy for you to start the hole 'point marking' system, where you give points to one guy and take it away from the another..then start contrasting and comparing them against each other. Where as, in a relationship you have to COMPRIMISE with your partners short commings and learn to accept them for who they are,

    Comprimise is the building blocks for a solid relationship, solid relationships are the building blocks for the strongest bonds between 2 individuals.

    As much as I hate society as a hole and where we've taken it as people, I have to credit it where its due, the hole victomising people, expecially females on the amount of people they see/have sex with etc...becuase it forces you into the correct state of mind, knowone wants to be known as slutty...well unless you've had your heart set on being a p*rn star from birth lol

    As to your actualy question at the end of your description, you don't have to ask us if that's OK because you know that answer in yourself, I'm 100% sure you haven't told either guy of the other one. Why? because you know what your doing is not fair and is not ok.

    Your doing what naturally people do, If you woke a guy up at 3 in the morning with a sexual act...he'll probably let you finish lol becuase that's how people respond in those situations, if you put a group of girls together, there's either going to be a lot of bondong, or bitching...either way, a lot of talking will be going on lol why? because we're people and that's just what we do.

    so you don't need to worry about is what your doing is leading him on etc...because your simply acting like any other human in your situation. The trick is to know yourself and learnt not to put yourself into these types of situations.

    If not for the sake of your own sanity, do it for the fact that its not fair on anyone in this love triange/circle, including yourself. Knowone deserves to invest their emotions and heart into someone else, then realize that that someone has invested theirs in another.


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What Guys Said 4

  • You have to keep your options open. I don't see nothing wrong with your doing. You are single and just seeing what's out their. It's not like you are going to have sex with them without knowing them and being attractive to them first. I don't see nothing wrong with kissing on dates. If the moment is right and you are feling the vibe then kiss. Kissing different guys doesn't make you a slut. If you feel uncomfortable with something just bring it to their attention or push them off and say you are not ready yet. Did you feel comfortable cuddling? My take on cuddling is it doesn't really mean nothing more then just holding the person tight. It wasn't like you did anything extra with it. You don't have ot do something if you don't want to.

    • A date is a date. And if it's not exclusive then it the guys should look at it having a good time and getting a chance to know you better.

  • I think by going on a date with them more than twice would be leading them on. If a girl goes on a date twice with me I feel that they have some sort of interest in me and this may lead into something. A third date, again to me, would just confirm those feelings and make me think this will turn into something a little more serious.

    Please, please be careful with this! I have been hurt many times by girls who have dated me and broke up with me because it turned out they didn't like me like they "thought they would". Also don't start kissing all of them because that comes across as I really like you. I would, in your position, give them a kiss on the cheek at most until you know who you like.

    As for the cuddling, I see nothing wrong with it, unless you did a little more than just "Cuddle". Just remember to realize how they might feel if you go any farther. I also would really recommend dating only one guy at once from here on out because it allows you to appreciate and focus your attention on just him. That way you are not constantly comparing him to another guy and you don't to worry about being "slutty".

    Hope I helped you in even just the slightest bit!

  • Dating musltiple people should be assumed until you go exclusive. If the guy has a problem with it then you know which one to dump :)

  • Ow what a bad girl you are... .. you're the one which has to deal with her own feelings. If you think it's OK to date more than one guy at time, be open about your views and let them decide if it's worth staying around.

    Don't play with a guy's feelings: it hurts.


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