If he isn't taking initiative in hanging out?

is it OK to automatically think that he's NOT interested? I'm constantly hearing the whole "if he's interested he'll initiate" thing. Honestly guys, how true is this? (The guy I like is outgoing, he's not shy, but he has said he likes straightforwardness/honesty).

How true is the "if he's truly interested he'll make it happen" remark?


Most Helpful Guy

  • not so much. Remember that guys are just as apprehensive as you.

    We don't always want to be the ones putting ourselves out there for you.

    Sometimes a little reciprocation goes a long way.

    It's one thing to adhere to any plans he makes.

    Making your own with him makes an infinitely stronger statement.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Personally? I think that saying was made by a girl who was afraid to put herself out there and risk rejection, but wanted to rationalize it to herself that that's how it should be.

    Like snackeyg said, it's never 100%. Some guys will make the effort no matter what. Some guys will make the effort if they feel they have a good chance at success. And some guys will never make the effort because they don't want to put themselves up for rejection. If you want him, go for him. If he doesn't say yes, then move on.

    • Agreed, except... he did express his interest in hanging out but said those times would be few and far between right now... we go to the same university and are pretty busy.

      We continued to message each other on FB. I said screw it... in my last message I added "so how about we put a hold on this FB messaging thing, what are you doing next Sunday?"

      was that too much?? I'm afraid of rejection too :(

    • More likely than not, he's actually busy.

      Nobody likes rejection, that's a given. I don't think your message was too forward- you're getting your point across, and you're setting up a time to do it. That's much better than "Let's hang out sometime." Setting up a suggested time is awesome. If he wants to do it and can't, he'll try to make it work. If he's too busy to make it work or not interested enough to make it work, then he won't bother trying.

  • It's never 100%. If he's not doing it you should go for it yourself.

  • If I really want something then I will make an effort to get it, otherwise its not a prirority...


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