My boyfriend did not get me anything for our first anniversary, when I got him thoughtful gift?

He is bad with dates so I reminded him a week before. In addition to that I told him rhat i expect something, unlike other people who don't say clearly what they want and expect others to know it.

He knows how simple I am so a flower and handmade card would have been enough.

He didn't do anything. Anything. Apart from wishing me happy anniversary. I asked him nicely about celebration and he said he didn't get time to do anything because he was busy with school and work.

Got upset and cried a bit and fought with him. I had bought him a small desk organiser because I knew he wanted it since long and a small letter about how he matters to me.

Anyway, even after argument/fight he still didn't feel like making up by doing something.

I said that to him and he finally... Got me a packet of M&Ms and mars bar. After so much nagging.

I feel devastated because I have to fight for smallest things like these.

I understand having no money. My friends' boyfriends don't have it either. Still they do nice things for them that don't cost much.

PS- He is the kind of guy that marks important things on calendar and such. He didn't mark this one

Updates:
Guys bashing me and calling me selfish when I expected something from my guy? How typical GaG.

I told him I expect something because he is the one who always complains that women never tell what they want, they just expect guy to know what to do. So I did tell what I wanted- a simple gift.


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Most Helpful Guys

  • First of all, as soon as you say "I told him I expect something" I would have been out. It's one thing to discuss whether or not you plan to exchange gifts as a two-way exchange but a partner doesn't make demands. A boss does.

    Now, it does sound like he's also pretty inconsiderate and not willing to put much work in.

    Neither of you is showing yourselves to be good for each other right now, and my advice to EITHER of you would be to break it off and stay out of relationships until you're ready to treat a partner with respect.

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    • Read update. Had I not said anything, he'd blame me for "expecting him to know things by himself, without telling him"

  • So bad. You have done what an ideal girlfriend would do.
    I feel it might be hard on your heart but at first it looks as you aren't his priority. Homework is just an excuse , he doesn't want you that badly.
    But there's another dude of picture too. you have to notice If he wasn't like this whole year and loved you and respected you at most times then this time excuse might be genuine one and he might've been very busy. He did wish you happy anniversary and that shows he does have some feelings.
    Take into account all the events of this year before going for a decision

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    • Thank you. This was pretty helpful.
      At least you get what I'm saying, unlike some guys who are bashing me.

    • I'm glad i helped ☺️

Most Helpful Girls

  • Really you should be thankful he said happy anniversary to you. An anniversary isn't a party to get gifts, it's to celebrate being with one another. Expecting a gift, in my opinion, is selfish. You both really should have dicussed this before the anniversary expectations on how each felt about giving gifts to one another instead of telling him you expected a gift. Then starting an argument over somethng like this, is selfish too - why make such a big deal, this is not trying to make a relationship work - that's adding unceccesary stress and a headache

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    • I have one question - was this a year anniversary? You didn't specify because some many girls want to celebrate a 3month, 6 month anniversary - which I could never understand why.
      The amount of time you've been dating will indicate his interest level in you as well. From your description above, it really sounds like you wasn't worth the effort to him - not even trying to make you happy. My comment above can be disregarded to some point, I still think this should have been discussed before your actual anniversary of what was expected by both parties.

    • I specified in title itself that it was our first anniversary

    • First anniversary doesn't specify the time frame. We don't know what you consider 1st. Like I mentioned above some celebrate 3 month, 6 month or a year. Each of these could be a first.

  • Dump him. He doesn't care about you. Clearly he did it to shut you up. He sound lazy and he's using you. He's not a good boyfriend and you better break it off before he cheats on you or breaks up with you. I broke up with a guy who got me nothing for Valentine's Day when I made the fucker a card. He was cheating on me anyways and I wish I would have broken up with him way before that don't ignore the signs, girl.

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    • Don't worry about what these other gaggers say. They give the worst advice because they're miserable and wanna take other people down with em. You do nothing wrong and you're in the right so who cares what trash they wanna throw at you.

    • Thanks hun.

      They probably haven't even been with woman for long

    • Of course and I would imagine. I don't know a woman that would put up with a man like that.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 35

  • If you got him a gift, that's down to you, Sorry to say this, to expect him to give you a gift in return, is your problem. Your expectations of him, is your problem, not his problem, vice a versa.

    Its very nice of you to get him a gift, but when you give a gift, what do you expect in return? A gift in return, sorry but that's not showing love for each other, that's being materialistic.

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    • If you base your relationship based on gifts, then I think you need to re-evaluate what means to be in love in a relationship?
      Why do you want to buy you a gift anyway? whats the meaning to of the gift?

    • Its not even about gifts. Did you read my question? One. Simple. Flower. That would have been enough.

      It is about making efforts to make other person happy.

  • Basically, men have a different view on things.

    That being said, men know these things are significant to women. In a partnership, we have to be considerate of our partner's.
    You have right to feel appreciated by your partner, especially after a year.

    Yes there are milestones, and other things that women think are important that I may think are unnecessary, but that's not one of them.

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    • Thank God. At least someone who understands.

  • Well he's a dupe id never miss those things only by accident would I. Just guys dont always remember these things or do they mean so much.

    If I ever get this way God help me. I enjoy giving affection and giving simple gifts to the one im seeing.
    Im sorry this guy seems a little petty.
    I understand college takes a lot of your money but being kind and loving costs nothing.

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  • The whole thing sounds one sided selfish and "when I do this for you you should do that for me" that's not even real love.

    If I was him you would be in a lot of trouble and most likely put you in the friedzone.

    Have been in a similar immature relationship, that relationship ended with my feelings did die and she did end up in the friendzone.

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    • Shouldn't he be aware of my needs? If my need is celebrating anniversaries. Besides, I wasn't even asking for anything expensive.

      I am always aware of his needs and try to fulfill them.

      A relationship is all about realising other person's happiness. He could have done something if he knew very well that it makes me happy. When I am the one who does it.

    • Why do you focus on what he should do?

  • Wow. Trust me when a guy cares about you he'll do everything to make to happy. He'll even remember the littlest things. And for him to finally act after nagging him. I'm sorry to say he doesn't care about you.

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  • So date someone else. I won’t date someone who expects me to buy them shit. In my mind there’s more to life than gifts. Like love and support. But some people are “gift” lovers. I’m not. He might not be. We all express our love differently. I think they call it a “love language” and supposedly understanding each person’s love language is very important. I plan to use it in my next relationship, if I find a girl worthy of dating anyways. Not that I’m great or anything, I probably suck, but my standards are high anyways lol.

    It’s silly to fight over it though. Borderline abusive in my opinion. But others won’t see it like that I’m sure.

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    • Had I not said anything, he'd blame me for "expecting him to know things by himself, without telling him"

    • Show All
    • Why couldn't he do something tiny then?

    • Perhaps he would have if you didn't tell him he had to do it. But at least you give a shit, dont think my current girlfriend would care at all.

  • He should get you a gift because you told him you expect one? That'd be right about the time I would decide you aren't getting a gift, if I were in his position.

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    • Read update.

      If I hadn't told him and then nagged him, he'd just say that "oh but you didn't say that, how am I supposed to know?"

  • Alright, well one you shouldn't always expect something, 2. He shouldn't be a hypocrite. It depends on who you're with, if you know how he is already then you shouldn't expect something on the anniversary. Some people see it as a big thing but not all. If you want someone to be specifically the way you want then clearly you're with the wrong guy.

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  • I'm a guy and I'm in that same boat. I got her a gift and she said she got me something and I never got anything but I could bring it up and I'll get hell for hours but if I don't get anything for her then I still get hell, meanwhile I still don't get much. I definitely know the battle your having all too well

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  • Like dating anniversary? Or marriage?

    If the little things are actually the big things then you will always get upset because this will continue to happen. Fights will get bigger... unless he realizes it.

    But there wasn’t a question, so maybe your scared to ask if it’s time to move on or if this wasn’t as glamorous as you once thought, which will be hard to think about considering how much you care.

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  • I wouldn't make it such a big deal, he might have priorities. Plus, maybe for him it means that he has to prove his loyalty to you everyday and not one day in particular, no idea honestly. But don't think bad of him for having his own views on anniversary dates.

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  • Poor girl. Um like I don't think he is right for you and after a year? I used to try n go all out for my exes, I try to go all out at least for the anniversary. I would save even a dollar or two if I knew it would yield something cute from the dollar store. I hope he makes up for it but like I said the relationship seems a bit unstable given the details you stated.

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  • Hmm. Well people are fallible, and anniversaries don't mean much to most guys. Just like it's allowed to mean a lot to you, it's also allowed to mean nothing to him. So is it a bit inconsiderate of him to do nothing? Yes, it is. But you'll just have to decide for yourself whether or not you consider *doing something for an anniversary* to be as important to you as *actually having him as a boyfriend.* At some point you'll have to let it go or else it'll just continue to fester. Just like he would have to do if the roles were reversed.

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    • Don't really understand the downvotes. Apparently people are stupid.

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    • I can only assume they're dumb.

    • I like that word though-- incorrigible. Nice. Amusing, but nice.

  • Everyone's thought process is different.. well a/c to me he is at fault but you should forgive and give him another chance. if he repeats same thing again and again. you better dump him.. I think you deserve better

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  • Don't get too upset. A lot of us are like that. I'm terrible that way. I make Damn sure I tell every woman I meet because then they won't expect much.

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  • Anytime a man who really cares about his woman will always go above and beyond to make sure she knows that she is his #1 priority

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  • I can see both sides of this.
    If he really cared about you he should have acknowledged your anniversary somehow. 1 year is pretty significant to me, and if a girlfriend made it that far with me we were truly committed. He spoke very loudly with his action. Sorry it was not favorable for you.
    That being said, you probably shouldn't have said you expected a gift. This will turn guys 9/10 times, and there is little upside for you.
    Let me ask you this... wouldn't you have a little bit disappointed even if he did get you gift... because you had to tell him? Kind of takes the spark out of it for me.
    Anyway, if he's not IN after year? I'd say it's time for a boyfriend upgrade.

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  • Bad sign. Unless there's some other underlying problem that he isn't telling you about, I'd say find someone who cares about you!

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  • That’s odd that you told him you expect something, though I do get why you feel the way that you do. Some men are like this, they are forgetful sometimes and are awkward or not good when it comes to showing intimacy and affection in relationships. I don’t know why your boyfriend is the way that he is. Perhaps he didn’t like how you were approaching this issue, possibly irritating and pestering him about getting you something, and THAT caused him to not want to get you something, maybe he’s just forgetful, maybe he’s stressed out over something, or maybe he’s not into you.

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    • Its pretty mind blowing that girls that understand that saying you expect a gift would be a turnoff. That's like telling a woman, or even your girlfriend, you expect sex because you paid for dinner. So dumb.

    • That girls dont**

  • Sweety most guys are like that! But there are very few of us that do things for that cause we know it is a special day! But if you had to nag him and that's all he did! I'M sorry but he's a loser!

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  • Title is misleading. Seems materialistic as to give-to-get. But I understand where you're coming from after reading and I do believe that he should've at least gotten you a gift even if it wasn't physical because it's the thought that counts. But I disagree with some of these comments stating to ''break up with him,'' it shouldn't lead to that far. Also, it's a very bad start to compare your boyfriend to your friends' boyfriends as you wouldn't like to be compared to one of his ex's/friend's girlfriend in a negative light, but other than that you're totally justified but I wouldn't take it to the extreme as to letting it affect the relationships gravely/ breaking up with him over this incident. He might've failed to please you at your anniversary, but he probably cares for you and pleases you in other ways. Probs.

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  • No such thing as an anniversary for unmarried couples, grow the fuck up you have a mind of a 12 year old.

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  • boys are like that in general.. if you are keen on this things and you feel he is not into this.. maybe is time to look for a the one..

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  • He might have gotten you so. thing then when you said you are expecting somthing for it, it might have pissed him off

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  • Sounds like the end of him. You can always pick flowers, he put jack shit effort into you.

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  • Yeah ouch. He needs to make it up to you. Unless not doing anything was said.

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  • Well when was your anniversary?

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  • Drop him.

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  • He's fucking other gurls

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    5

What Girls Said 18

  • Okay but he REMEMBERED. That's good enough lol

    For our first anniversary I wrote him a letter and gave him some lame framed picture of us. We went out for dinner. Nothing major. I was just impressed that the boy remembered in the first place lol

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  • You're exactly describing my mom and dad
    I as a person who lives in a home that suffers from such a problem am advising you to think twice before continuing with him... In the end, you shouldn't become blinded by the idea of love and such. You must pay to every tiny thing because the way he behaves now is the way that he'll always behave in the future.
    My father used to be like this to my mother when they were engaged.. And he's still the same after 17 years of marriage.

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  • you have to show him that you are upset. ignore his messeges and when he comes and says hi just leave him and go. but before you do that. give him hints that ypu are devestatedfrom this preblem. so when you ignore him completely he knows why. and trust me when you do that he will come back running after you

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  • . Because itd just an anniversary , wow. My parents were together for 40 years and they dont celebrate. Because honey. It doesn't matter. If you expect something for every anniversary , holiday etc , than search for someone like you. That guys doesn't seem to give a shit about that.

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    • Guy*.

    • Show All
    • He never gets me gift ever. Not even on my birthday. But I let it pass

    • Then. I dont think he is the right guy for you... like. Ok. An anniversary its not such a bid deal. But your birthday its something different. I dont think he is interested in you.

  • Time to think about dumping or at least asking why he didn’t get you anything. Ask if he wants to be done. People should just be able to break up if it’s not working. Yeah it hurts but it hurts more to stay and worry all the time

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  • Leave him girl. Sounds like you dating my ex. He did the same thing. For birthdays and valentines on top of anniversaries. They never change. He could had done something simple as written you a letter. You seem like a girl who is all about the thought behind a gift as oppose to the price of it.

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  • I see how much you mean to him... if he is that bad with dates he SHOULD mark it... ditch him... I'm sorry this is just bad to forget.. He doesn't care it feels like

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  • Yeah he should have thought of somethink! It isn't too much to expect a small gift like a flower, chocolate or gift card

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  • I had a guy like this. All ibasked for was some cheap flowers or a small pendant that cost no more than £20 . I ended up begging for flowers. Some appreciation that he cares. I'd do all these little gestures for him but anything I wanted was a chore. They never seem to understand why you're so upset. I'd say ditch him but it's a lot harder doing it than saying it. You can try a normal ground of" this is why I'm upset and this is the sort of thing you could have done " method but he most likely won't take it seriously

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  • Maybe you have no idea and he is doing Hus washing to look hi best for u lol

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  • Yeah, that's a fucking dick move.

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    • The day before valentine day my ex asked when's Valentine's I said its BEEN AND GONE!! he was not impressed hahaha

  • Yeah, what DHert said.

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  • I'd be happy with the candy. Not a big deal.

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    • Had he got it before I begged him/begged for it, I would be happy too. But I had to nag for even that.

  • Ur whiny

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  • He's an inconsiderate shit

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  • that would bother me too. why to have a boyfriend if it's the same not having one? i mean, better alone than with someone that doesn't value us enough and make us happy

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  • Clearly he seems like he is not even interested. My boyfriend got me a bunny for Valentine's day and this May 16 will be our first year anniversary. He got me the bunny like three days before Valentine's cause I had always asked him for a turtle but we passed by a animal store and fell in love with the bunny and he bought it for me. He even went back and bought me another 3 bunnies so they can keep company.

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  • Sorry honey but if he wanned to get you something he would have managed.
    You may want to reevaluate the relationship. Maybe he wants out but trying to make you broke up with him.

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