Background about me - I started dating quite late (when I was 20) and have only had one boyfriend before. After breaking up with him for good, I started using online dating to go out and meet more people. I'd say since January I've been on at least 7 or 8 dates, I've only really liked 2 a lot.
I dont think I'm bad looking. I'm not overweight either and don't look that different from my pictures. In fact I've been told by guys I've been on dates with that they think I'm attractive and a lot tend to want to get physical or kiss too. I don't have a lack of matches on the apps I use either. I can get a date very easily.
I have been asked out on a couple of second dates but I have not liked those guys that much. With guys I do like, it always seems to go in this way: We have a nice date, they make promises and comments about meeting up again. We text to say we had a really good time, then I either get ghosted or they start phasing me out.
Whenever I talk about this with friends and family they insist that its because I haven't met the right guy but I'm starting to think that I'm doing something wrong. I do get nervous around guys I like. I also don't like to kiss or do anything else that's physical on a first date. Other girls my age seem to find it really easy to find someone.
Most Helpful Girl
You are not the only one. This happens a LOT, more so in recent years. I have some theories on this.
1. You didn't put out on the first date and they think they'll have a better chance to get laid with another girl. Our generation is all about instant gratification...
2. Too many options. With online dating especially, people get the illusion that they can be very selective. If someone doesn't check ALL of the boxes, there's millions of other people right at their finger tips, so they get scared if they "settle" for someone who isn't perfect they'll miss out on meeting the perfect woman.
3. It's human nature to try and get the biggest payout for the least amount of effort, and the longer you date someone before getting serious, the more effort you're expected to put in. It's much easier to have a coffee or bar first date, take her back to his place, and have sex with her than start going on nicer dates with someone who isn't even a sure thing and might reject them. It's not the best thing to do, but it's understandable.
This is just something I've noticed that might be helpful, but I've found guys over 26 are generally over the overwhelmed "too many options" thing and have started to realize that if they spend all of their time waiting for perfection, they're going to be alone for a long time. There are definitely immature 26+ guys, and there are mature guys in their early twenties, but I think it's easier to find a guy who isn't afraid of commitment (even if that commitment is just a second date) if you stick with guys who are a little bit older. Also, online dating SOUNDS like a good idea, but you're more likely to meet guys with "too many options" syndrome on a dating app than at the gym, a grocery store, bar/club, or a coffee shop. Best way to meet someone is to start doing things that are interesting to you regardless that puts you in social settings. It doesn't even have to be all that much. I've met more quality people just by doing homework at a local coffee shop and becoming a regular there than I ever did online. Also, guys talk to me at the gym quite a bit if I forget my headphones that day. If you don't mind guys talking to you at the gym, you could always just leave your headphones at home lol
Most Helpful Guy
Dunno know you personally but big part is those said guys has there own desires. What ever it may be, its something there looking for or to do abd they can't make up their mind.
Another thing is that guys has preference who they see as relationship material, not saying you dont fit the bill. Its their preference.
Im not there to see how it go down, so i can pinpoint whos at fault. So i say dont give up and keep lookn. Also know this how it goes in the dating world. Same happenes to me too til i was just sick of it and just hung out instead of date.