I'm surrounded by much younger women. I'm getting mixed opinions on this, need help

I'm a 41 year old man going back to college, which means I'm surrounded by much younger women of 19+. I've pretty much declared not to even bother to try and get dates with these younger women because they didn't care for me at 21, no reason to think they would feel differently at 41. In addition, I've had these thoughts of how I would react if I had daughters that age messing with men my age. However, I'm getting a number of people saying that it really is OK to date, age is only a number and a number of Asian folks actually encourage me to make an attempt with some of their women. I'm really not trying to gain someone from these women but I cannot deny the fact that looking does fire my hormones up and being alone really sucks ass. I don't think I"m desperate, but I'd like to have what everyone already possesses. The bottom line is that I think they are all too young for me, well, maybe some of the mid-twenties women are OK, yet many others disagree and I should keep my options open.

Let's hear it folks


Most Helpful Guy

  • If all you want is some physical action then you're looking in the right spot.

    If you want a serious relationship that could be a life-long partnership then you're looking in the wrong spot. The reason I say this is even though some claim "age is only a number", the fact remains that you're at a different place in life than someone who is 21.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Personally, I agree in a sense that age is just a number. I would be open to dating someone much older than me if 1) I found them attractive (physically and personality-wise) and 2) we had similar relationship goals.

    If you are interested in dating a younger woman, my warning would be to not "come on" too strongly. Speaking from a 20-something point of view, I could see a lot of girls seeing a 40-something year old man hitting on them as creepy (not everyone is open to dating someone much older than them). It would probably turn out more positively if you got to know them a bit and found out that you mutually click with them before asking them out.

    The things that would make me hesitant about dating an older man are:

    1. What baggage does he have? Bad relationships? An ex-wife? Kids?

    2. Why is he interested in dating someone my age? Is it a mid-life crisis thing? An ego-trip? Is he turned on by the fact that I'm so much younger/its a fantasy thing? Does he want to try to take advantage of me because I'm young and "naive"? Is he superficial and only wants a "pretty young thing" (and if we were together for a long time, would he break up with me when I became "too old")? - I'm not saying any of these are true of you, but they would be things that would cross my mind.

    3. Are we looking for the same thing? Just a good time? A long-term relationship? Marriage? (girls my age might be looking for any of those things)

  • Hey, I date younger men. I look young yet apparently mature enough to fit that sexy cougar stereotype. So, here's my advice.

    Some younger people are definitely not going to want to date you. Since you are the guy and are the one who will likely do the asking, just be open to that but if you take your time getting to know a girl, you will likely have a gut instinct as to whether the girl would be okay being asked for a date.

    Be prepared for the ups and downs of dating someone with a huge age difference. Gals that are in their early 20's (guys too), are still figuring out who they are and what they want. They will change over the course of their 20's. Now, if all you want to do is date and have some casual fun, who cares, but if you want a relationship, this is something to think about. What happens in 5 years or 10 years when she wants kids and marriage? Will you want that?

    Just some things to consider but nothing tragic in my book. Good luck!

    • I understand you. I should just let it be and stick to Canadian sex workers! HAHAHAHA. It hurts when I'm a "no type" to begin with: short, black, old, overweight(I'm losing it, honestly), not rich and not very handsome. Oh well. Somebody has to the "Nice-Guy-Not-My-Type" which, technically, is almost eveyone!

What Guys Said 1

  • They are young enough to be your kid! Grow up!