My mom says I shouldn’t settle for second best?

So my mom is like my best friend and thinks I can do better when it comes to my boyfriend of 2 months. She thinks I shouldn’t settle and should date around. She thinks I’ll regret it. This is my first real boyfriend and I do really like him but she’s making me second guess everything. What should I do?

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38

Most Helpful Guy

  • Listen to your mom but follow your heart. Don't dump your boyfriend until your heart tells you to do so meaning you just don't see a future with him. At minimum, the experience you have with this boyfriend is applicable to understanding future BFs so there's nothing wrong sticking with the current boyfriend.

    I want to mention sonething else you may not like...

    I don't exactly disagree with your mother but people (and boyfriends in particular) should not be treated like inanimate objects with no feelings which is what your mother's attitude is. I understand her perspective; she wants the best for you. However, casually discarding boyfriends because "you can do better" is cavalier and inhumane.

    Imagine if your BF's parents said that about you - that he "could do better" - and he then dumps you even though he actually liked you and you were a good girlfriend. How would you feel being discarded like trash?

    So, I say keep your boyfriend until YOU feel it's time tp break-up. Then, going forward, be pickier about the next guy and talk to your mom about what she thinks is a "better guy". And make sure to ask her if your father had those qualities.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're unsure, then that means you need more time to figure things out. Don't rush into marriage or commitment. After all, you've only been with your boyfriend of 2 months.

    Your mom just wants what's best for you, but ultimately, the choice will be on you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

27
  • Take what she says with a grain a salt. She is only saying you might really not know what you want or like with only dating one guy. There also must be something about this guy she doesn't like to make those comments.

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  • In my experience, when moms and friends voice their concerns, they have a reason for it. Your boyfriend might not be such a catch, and there's no shame in realizing that, but you have to be the one to come to that conclusion.

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  • Your mom is right
    Plus it's not your age to settle already

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    • My boyfriend is my age too but he’s ready to settle and look long term. It kinda freaks me out cuz I’m still in college and he’s out of it working full time. I don't know what to do. I really like him and don’t want to break up but I don't know about the future yet

    • You need your time and space! Talk to him about it and always keep options open...
      Much of the young love disappears after some time (just saying)

  • Don't let her dictate or make you second guess your decisions. If you feel happy and are comfortable with you you're with and your choices, then go for it.

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  • Do Whatever You Wanna Do, Stuff Her. she's Butting In, Her 5cents isn't Needed.

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  • Go with the gut feels

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  • It's only 2 months in, don't overthink it yet.

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  • Mom's know best

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    • No she doesn't and, sadly, that's often the case. Lord knows how many times I've seen mothers fuck up their daughter's lives and the daughters get pissed off about it.

    • @abc3643 I was going to say some mom's lol

  • She might be right. She might be wrong. Do what feels right.

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