Do guys care if u aren’t a virgin cause u were raped?

basically I was raped when I was like 9. I’m 19 now and trying to have a relationship with god and be Christian. so now I want to wait until marriage but I’m technically not a virgin. Would a Christian guy care about that? it kills me that I’m not pure and not a virgin. I wish that was something I could save for my future husband but I can’t. how would u react if your girlfriend told you she was raped and no longer a virgin?

0|0
315

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm very sorry that ever happened to you, you don't deserve that, no one deserves that.

    And technically, I think there's a difference between being having sex and being violated. When you're raped, it's against your will. When you willingly have sex with someone like a boyfriend, they have your full permission and consent.

    So technically, you're not a virgin cuz you've had bad but real experience, but you're also still a virgin cuz you haven't give it up yet of your own choice. So overall, I think you're still a virgin, or in your case, a half-virgin, if that makes any sense.

    Hate to say it, but I imagine most Christian guys would be put off by it, but they care about you enough, they'll overlook it and understand.

    Personally, I'm no longer Christian, but I am Spiritual, I still believe in God and I believe in having a personal, healthy relationship with him and being the best person I can be is more important than obsessively practicing religion in general. If I were to meet a girl like you, I would not care, if she were to tell me upfront, I think it would strengthen our bond.

    You are still pure, no matter what happened, you have to believe it.

    1|0
    0|0
    • that’s what I’m nervous about, them not wanting to be with me because of it. & I’m nervous because when would I even tell him about what happened? I can’t tell him too soon cause he’ll be put off by it and prob not wanna be with me. & if I wait till a lot later in the relationship then he might feel betrayed or like I was lying to him. when would you want to find out about that?

    • I'd say somewhere between soon and later

Most Helpful Girl

  • That's a Virgin not a woman who has had sex yet love matters not sex that's not having sex at all that's a crime involving violations of a cavity used in same place sex can be once lost virginity what is a Virgin to you?

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

214
  • Of course we care! A good and genuinely caring person would try and make you as comfortable with who you are as possible. I've had 2 gf's that have been raped prior to the relationship and i even had sex many many times with one of them. It just depends on how you feel. I am so sorry you have been raped. But please god dont look down on yourself as not pure because of it. I can't tell you enough how wrong that is. You are still a perfect human being. Some may say that you are still a virgin, especially because you haven't had vaginal sex in 10 years. Your hymen had to of regenerated by now. And i am not religious, but i can respect the hell out of you being christian after what happened. Normally after something as traumatic as that, people feel they aren't themselves anymore and they forfeit their lives to their surroundings. You are on a very respectable path, miss. If any other guy talks down to you for not wanting to have sex tell them to take it up with me.

    You are not ruined ❤
    Stay strong

    0|0
    0|0
  • First of all, I'm very, very sorry that happened to you. I'll never completely know how terrible that must have been. But you are no less "pure" because a horrible crime was committed against your body and your young self. You are in no way less virtuous and worthy as a person because of that awful event.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Virginity is about purity

    Some girls clame to be a virgin but she did anal... that's not pure

    In your case you didn't do anything you were raped against your will... so you're still pure

    I'm sure your current boyfriend well understand this too

    0|0
    0|0
  • Every guy is different. Every Christian guy is different. Virgins are almost impossible to find anyway. I don't think you have anything to worry about. If you are seeking God with all your heart, you are pure.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The fact that you were raped and didn't have sex on your own free will technically means you're still a virgin in your mind, just not physically. If a guy turned away from you because of an act that you didn't want, shame on him because you deserve better!
    If I found out my girlfriend was raped, I would want to comfort her and let her know that in my eyes, she was still a virgin because she was forced to have sex against her will. I would also ask if she wanted to take it slow because rape is a terrifying experience and can traumatize someone for life! Any caring guy will let you know that you being raped won't change their point of view about you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • most "normal" guys are not obsessed with virginity. if a guy expects the girl to be a virgin, you should avoid him like the plague no matter if you actually are a virgin or not.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You were raped, you obviously didn’t ask for it and if a guy reacted badly to it then he can go fuck himself

    0|0
    0|0
  • No. I dont think anyone would have a problem with that. You can still make make your 1st time (of your own free will) a positive a beautiful memory, which would probably lessen your trauma

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honestly, if somebody is going to ditch someone because they were raped and therefore not a virgin, that person is just shit.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think guys don't care about virginity or not. Most guys are searching for experienced ones.
    But he will chear you up if he loves you

    0|0
    0|0
  • No one wants a virgin my dear. They are crap in bed

    0|1
    2|1
  • No of course not

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hey, I’ve been sexually assaulted when I was younger multiple times. I ask myself the same questions you do. Something that stood out to me that I heard a few years ago is “In God’s eyes you are pure.”

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm sorry that happened to you. But you are as pure as any virgin. I don't care about it at all.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell your future husband you were raped. If he acts badly, then he's not the right guy...

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think you being a virgin matters to him.. as long as you have no

    1. STD's
    2. Babies

    He doesn't need either one in his life, either right now, or at all

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...