Tricky situation... I don't know what to do?

So I've been seeing this guy for several months now and we have (generally) a very honest, straightforward, and healthy relationship with a couple of headaches here and there... though it seems that we just came across the biggest one yet. His best friend is a girl, which in itself is not a problem -- one of my closest friends is a guy himself. But how she interacted with him, a certain degree of heavy reliance struck me as odd. Eventually my guy told me that they previously slept together (several years ago, before either of us came into each other's picture) which I didn't have a problem with either. Surprising, I know.

In fact, from what he described prior to me meeting her, they had a pretty healthy friendship. They had tried sleeping together, it didn't work for a multitude of reasons He wanted to protect and maintain their friendship intact, so they never advanced into a relationship, and both agreed to be friends.

Well, sort of.

It seems that there may have been some expectations on his friend's part that eventually, someday, they would start dating, so when she learned of the potential that he might be dating someone she "spiraled deep into despair," all while my guy remained perfectly oblivious. I tried to be understanding, even empathetic, but it was odd seeing her how the closer he got to me, the more she tried to pull him back. He never gave me cause for concern - he has been honest with me from the beginning - but it was still stung a little.

I have encouraged him to talk to her... if anything to make sure everyone was on the same page. He said it wouldn't change anything between us, that he knew where we stood. And yet after the conversation he asked for space. No reason given; other than it had nothing to do with me. I told him that I understood, that I cared, and that I would be glad to speak with him when he needed it. I haven't heard anything in the last couple of days...

I usually don't worry about these things, but I'm at a loss...

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  • At some point it's either you or her. I had a food female friend that still communicated after we lived far away from each other. Eventually she stopped and I understood rhat she had to prioritize her family and her husband's feelings. Also he still likes her in a romantic way.

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  • Hello, I'm sure you did the right thing there... It's obvious that she has feelings for him and expect one day to be with him. By giving him his space, ypu prove him that he has your trust, after all he never made you believe he was hoping to get with her. The problem with this girl is that she will try to use anything to blame you... but you have to be the wise one here. Your man will surely understand that it's hard for you... bit by himself... he will one day take distance from her if she's abreal threath to your relation, speaking from past experience... as I had the samething happen and my girlfriend was comprehensive and one day I had to stop being with this other girl as she always try pushing herself to me. I hope this help to overcome this. Take Care

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  • This is high level bs on his part. Dump him.

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