I'm confused about appearing interested vs appearing needy. Please help?

I was seeing one of these dating videos on YouTube and coach said a guy must act cool and not needy even if there girl is losing interest but also previously said a girl would be interested in you if you showed you liked her. Aren't these contradictory?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Need is what happens when you overwhelm a girl with too much interest. If you let a girl know you're interested and she doesn't respond at all but YOU keep pursuing, it's not going to change her mind. A little pursuit is sexy, but if she's not coming back at you, forget it and move on.

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    • Hmm, so the saying that you can get any girl you want is a myth?

    • Of course it's a god damn myth ! How could it be true?

    • When you say "get", what does that mean? Get a date? Get her into bed? Get her to like you?

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What Guys Said 9

  • Being needy is being interested to the point that she becomes your number one priority even though you're not dating.
    It's a bit hard to explain.
    Not being needy is being cool with the fact that she might not be interested, not pushing if she stops replying, having a life and activities of your own beside her.

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  • Completely ignore those dating coaches. They are full of shit. They will claim it works - and it does, but only for a limited number of people, and only using a limited definition for what it's trying to accomplish.

    Just be honest. That stuff about not appearing to needy, or playing hard to get, is just game playing. If your goal is to play games, and the other person is playing the same game, then fine. Otherwise ignore that stuff.

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  • Needy is giving too much attention where is isn't wanted. Showing interest is letting her know you like her, but not overwhelming her. It's a bit of give and take play. Flirting in other words.

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  • Dont worry about either. Women play that game on purpose. They want you to think that you have to appear interested and know that you are thinking about that.

    You have to be clear with yourself about what you want. Do you really want her? Act accordingly. Be aggressive. Do you have other options? Act accordingly, pursue other options.

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  • Dating Gurus suck... Most of them are good looking and it doesn't take wits to get girls for them. All guys are not get endowed with good looks and can't be players.

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  • I feel like it's easier to just say "Hey. I like you."

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    • I think I'm way past that, we've had super intimate chats. I'm kinda getting emotionally attached to her and she now seems to be showing less interest in me. I donno what to do

    • Oh that's easy. Find another girl. Then date both or date #2.

    • Yes this guy is right. Give your attention to another girl, even just a friend. There is a big chance she'll come back crawling.

  • You have to be interested at her but not act like you need her

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  • Well I don't think there is anything wrong with showing a girl you like her but don't over do it

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  • its about balance, the responses here are good

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