Would you say getting married at age 20 is too soon?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for seven months and he’s leaving to the military soon. I’ve supported him through whatever from the start and so has he. I’ve learned so much from him and I’ve gotten to learn about myself. I feel loved and I love him and I’ve never felt this for another guy.

The He only thing is, he asked if we wanted to get married in a year so that I’m able to live on base with him and he’s able to cover my education. I’m very flattered and I LOVE the idea of it, but is that too soon? I always told myself that if I ever got married, I’d want to wait 3 years before I got married to make sure it’s solid lol

but it then again I’ve heard of relationships ending after 13 years which is crazy, but also makes me question a lot.

As an American, or wherever you’re from, what’s your viewpoint?

0|0
913

Most Helpful Guy

  • Seven months is not long, and you are so young that you probably have not really dated anyone else. I'm worried that it is too soon. I liked the way you wrote about your relationship -- you are mutually supportive. You are right to be worried about marrying at your age. If you do decide to marry him, then wait a few years before having children, and don't mess around with risky forms of contraception. If you can't take the pill reliably, then get an IUD or something that is about foolproof. A divorce without children is inconvenient, but is not a tragedy. Divorcing with children is misery.

    Have you had the serious discussions that should come before marriage? Are you religiously compatible? Even if you have the same religion, are you equally committed to it? If you aren't, how are you going to resolve that? Do you want children? When? How do you imagine that you will run a household? What do you expect from him? What does he expect from you? What about finances? You both need some money to spend freely without input from the other. What about sex? Do you know what he fantasizes about? Does he know what you fantasize about?

    1|0
    0|0
    • Depends. When we fight, we take however much time we need to cool down. (A few minutes to an hour);then we sit and talk

      Or ewe usually just explain because th our points with an open mind and if we’re wrong, on sod us apologizes. Or we meet in the middle,

Most Helpful Girl

  • 7 month’s is a REALLY short amount of time.

    IF you do decide to get married I think you two should basically write up a contract that decides who is responsible for what

    1|0
    0|0
    • In a year though, it’ll be a year and seven months? 😂 lol still too soon?

    • Show All
    • That’s okay but thanks for taking time to answer though 😄 I appreciate it regardless and I did get some good advice from it

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

812
  • follow your heart-I got married when 18 and he went into the military a few months later-when he got back from overseas I lived off base with him until he was discharged-I never regretted it-so I would say age 20 is not too soon

    1|0
    0|0
    • How’d you do It?
      What should I expect?
      I heard there’s a lot of cheating etc?

      Sorry I’m just curious about what I might be possibly getting into

  • Every officer will advice against it. A career in the military is a wild one.

    I signed up for IT and Logistics. During Marine bootcamp, I got switched to combat support. When I graduated I got switched to Infantry at the last minute. My wish to be stationed in Japan never came, instead I went to the middle east. I did get shot, I've got the bullet wounds to prove it.

    Plus my boi Trump is about to start WW3 LOL

    0|1
    0|0
    • 😣 He signed up for infantry. I looked at him with a dead worried stare when he told me that in the car. He said he’s not worried cause there’s no war RIGHT NIW but I told him there was always a possibility. I cried in front of him.

      But anyways, why do you think officers would advise against it to be specific?

    • Show All
    • Well for the Marines, its because you will always be far away from home the first 4 years. Being a military man isn't just a career, its also a duty. There is no way he can fulfill two obligations at once, serving in the military and serving as your husband.

    • And when he gets put in the middle of the desert just like I was, there will be no communication. Even if there was signal, the commanding officer won't allow it.

      For the guys that get stationed out of the country and are not combat related, they will usually find and marry a local. If I could take you to Fort Belvoir Virginia I would. I will let you see the amount of foreign women married to a military guy.

  • He would receive additional benefits from the military for being married, but education benefits for you is not one of them.

    Personally, I think waiting to make sure your relationship is strong enough to withstand the demands of a military lifestyle would be best.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Military marriages are very well known for not working out. Everybody cheats, and the only reason people get married in the first place is so they get paid more and get more comfortable living arrangements.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Eeehhh you don’t think that he’s only asking me to marry him for the benefits do you? 😐😐😐

    • Show All
    • You're welcome.

    • @Asker what happens when you fight?

  • Well our grandparents usually married at around that age. Today people think that they're a lot smarter than them, believing that you should wait til your 30s - yet 50% of those marriages end in divorce. That should tell you who you really need to listen to.

    1|0
    0|0
    • This is because of the internet that divorces rate are increasing. But not only. Just a major reason.
      Life is easier nowadays that it used to be. People became lazier, more shallow and stupid than before.

    • So, they should date longer before getting married.

  • I mean it can last but its unlikely. My grandparents got married at 17 after they dated for 6 montha and theyre still together 50 or 60 years later

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think it'S too early. I wouldn't get married just so the guy can pay for my education. It's better to wait 3-5 years in my opinion.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Only get married when both of you feel the time is right. If you have any doubt as to whether it's the right time to marry or not, then it's not the right time

    1|1
    0|0
  • i'm not against anyone else doing it. but I can't handle the thought of myself getting married in 2 years if it were to happen to me.

    1|0
    0|0
  • In America the divorce rate is relatively high. However that isn't stopping you from going through with it. All you need to do is cherish what you two have and keep working with it

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well this is quick.
    Thus said, love is not about pragmatism. It's very important to always remain pragmatic, but it may turns into fear and become unproductive.
    If you are just thinking about getting married and the kids are not for tomorow, go for it.

    On a pragmatic point of view, from what I know about the USA having your education covered is a big plus.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I’d say a bit too early but that’s because my parents hooked up in late 20s and early 30s
    My kind like to take their time

    1|0
    0|0
  • Too soon probably won't last long, not mature enough regardless of what you guys might think right now!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Twenty is too young to get married. Yes.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Too soon, live a little first in my opinion.

    1|0
    0|0
  • hell yeah

    1|0
    0|0
  • For love reasons yes!

    1|0
    0|0
  • Way too soon. Wait 10 years

    0|1
    0|0
  • yep thats quick

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes it is, you are too young and not finically stable enough to raise a family.
    In order to get married you need to be completely separated from your parents and don’t need any help from them especially in terms of a place to live and finance.

    1|1
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...