Is patience really a virtue?

So, I've been seeing someone for a few months but only every other week. He instigated things by kissing me on a night out and we have been out for dinner a few times since. 2 months ago he text me out the blue saying he was nervous and wary and wanted to continue seeing me as a friend. I made it clear that I was interested in more but respected his feelings.
We went for dinner the following week and everything was the same between us. We have been out twice since and last time we were out, he opened up about his ex. It sounds like she really did a number on him and I can understand why he may be nervous. He has also recently started texting me more and has done when he's away on holiday, work trips and when his family has been visiting. I do feel that he likes me but he hasn't said or done anything to progress things.

Should I be patient? Am I completely wrong about the whole thing? Was him saying he's nervous and wary his way of saying "I'm not interested in you"?
What should I do? I don't want to rush him if he needs time...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Patience is a practical virtue if you are interested in long term relationships.

    If you want to give him a chance, show him that you are different, be nice to him always and show him you are confident about him, that he will recover from his ex. But don't mention her too often.

    The past should stay in the past. You are something new entirely.

    Try complimenting him to build his confidence back up. For his work or his manliness. Take the good small stuff and make it hudge.

    You will see him gradually like you more and more and when he is ready he will show you his heart, that you helped him rebuild. And when he's confident enough, he'll make the necessary moves.

    You can't have a lasting relationship without patience. Because all people are flawed in some way. But those flaws are there to fill them with love and create bonds. If we were all perfect individually, we wouldn't need each other.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It could be either of two things:-
    1) He likes you but is not ready to be exclusive due to past relationships that caused an emotional scar
    2) He genuinely just wants to be your friend and simply enjoys your company.

    But if he isn't showing you signs that he is interested- its best to just let it go.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Just because he's taking it slow doesn't mean he's not interested in you. It could also mean he's being cautious. You did mention that you think his ex did a number on him. He will appreciate some patience on your part. Question now is, how long are you willing to be patient 'til something seems to be really serious.

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  • Tell him "you just met someone" to speed things up with him.

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  • No it isn't

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