Help with a shy guy, so does he not like me?

Dating
This guy is the introverted/inexperienced type. And most all of his friends are guys. He gets girl attention but he doesn't really seem to care about them. Anyway, I had never met him before, we have mutual friends and have messaged online once or twice platonically, but those would fizz and wouldn't reply. I gave up talking to him really because of that. Then he saw a place i went to eat at a week ago and said it looked great and asked me why i didn't invite him (jokingly). I told him he should join me next time and then he planned a day for us to go, he offered to pick me up but I said it was okay when we got there, he did reach for the tab, but I wasn't sure if he was doing it because it was a date or just to be a generous friend, so told him we'd split it, he sorta froze and then the waitress split it for us. He doesn't talk much and even asked me if he was awkward but he's not exactly shy he still talks some. He said at before he had no friends to bring, and then during he said his friend was working. Was that a date Im not really sure? We spent some more time after that.

Long story short, he talked to me on social media later that night, the day after, but he always leaves me last to have said anything and doesn't reply. And so i didn't message him for a day, but then the next he replied to one of my snaps on my story. Again, he ends up reading it and not replying though. Maybe i am overthinking, but i just wanna know if i should bother with him or if he's not interested that way.
Updates:
I should clarify, that he is very outgoing with his friends and social media and does dorky stuff online he doesn't care what people think. But he was VERY shy with me and I had to do most of the asking and probing. And in person he never mocks me or makes fun of me but he's makes fun of me in text jokingly
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Help with a shy guy, so does he not like me?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ehhhhhh, hard to tell.
    All i'm going to say is being a really shy guy myself, we appreciate the female taking initiative, especially when it comes to socialising - there's times where I just don't know what to say, so I won't message or reply. Just an idea, try bringing up something you think he can talk about, and then hopefully he can stem off from there.

    I would say it's more a date than something random.
    Him not reply is strange, either he's like me and isn't good at socialising, or he is busy/not interested. Hard to tell though.

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    • Yeah he's too shy to initiate randomly I guess, he only initiates when replying to something I posted so he uses it as an excuse kind of.

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    • but then do you leave her hanging when you have nothing to say? Cos thats what he does - but if i post anything else he would reply to it.

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    • Yeah, if I don't think I can think of something interesting or whatever, then I won't reply till I can. Not sure how many guys are like me though.

      Reply

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Sounds like you should have let him do what he wants with the bill.
    He most likely likes you but is unsure how you feel. Making him shy and nervous.
    You probably killed in his mind what was a date. Then he was to nervous to say that he wanted it to be.

    Maybe just ask himbout on a date. Flirt with him. Dont let a chance and a misundertanding or a miatake ruin it for you.

    Just cause he is confident with girls does not mean he is confident in his dating abilities.

    Good luck

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  • He most likely doesn't know how to act around you, makes him nervous and over think bc he doesn't want to mess up.
    He offered to pick you up and pay for the meal (sounds like a date to me) the fact that you refused both is probably confusing him.
    Plan a date to something you would both enjoy, then tell him he should invite you there on a date.

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  • With his friends and online activities there is no self conscious awkwardness that comes with encountering a romantic partner. It could be in his inexperience he just is not sure of himself in what to do to make it happen.
    If you want to persue it you are going to have to lead him into it. He obviously has an interest in you.

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  • Talk to him directly if u want him a date... if he is social and have friends May be he feel nervious around u but not make urself toy for him... leave him for a while or ignore his messages or let him wait for u.. if he persue u then ask him openly Mr what u want.. I suggest but pl donot get hurt like this.. it seems u like him just safe urself

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  • It's the Same with me, I like a girl but I get tired of trying to text and I just stop, Be straight forward with him ask him out and if he declines you're no worse off, TRUST ME guys love it when women are straight forward

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  • It sounds like he is nervous around you, he probably does like you. If he really is that inexperianced you can take this opportuninty to teach him if you not into that then you should probably keep it platonic

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  • Sounds like me, which in that case you should be the person to initiate it cause it doesn't sound like he is very experienced. He learn fairly quick but just push him in that direction.

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  • 100% he is interested,,,
    But I doubt he might not approach u ,, he is very scared to talk to any girl ,, not just u

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  • Is he very shy with anyone who is not one of his friends and is not online?

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    • he is very outgoing with his friends and on social media and does dorky stuff but he doesn't care what people think. But he was very shy with me in person and I had to do most of the asking and probing him and he would sorta quiet as if he was trying to think of something to ask me before he asked. Also in person he never mocked me or made fun of me but he's makes fun of me in text jokingly a lot

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    • Right, I think I get it. The internet makes it a lot easier for people to talk, because they have nothing to worry about. They can just be themselves and all there is to see is their own personality. But dating, in real life, is going to take a lot of time for him to settle in to. I can’t determine if he does or does not like you. He just gets extremely nervous in situations like dates.

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  • If u like him go for it. Take the initiative.

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    • Yes but if it was only platonic I dont want to be taking the wrong impression. I want to know how he stands and then I would ask him to meet again

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    • That is a good point. Anyway you won't know if u don't talk to him. Meet him when u do it. Don't ask over the phone. He won't be able to hide his feelings whatever they are when u are right in front.

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  • He likes you

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  • I think he is playing u

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  • Why do you still like him despite being shy?

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    • That he is shy? Hmm. Well its a long story this might sound creepy but when I used to see his social media I used to think wow he's sorta my dream man not looks wise (hes goodlooking but not even really the kinda guy I normally find attractive) but because he doesn't even like social media, he's very unconcerned with how others see him, and his hobbies are really in line with my own. So yeah he's also very outgoing with his friends and online/ but was really shy with me in person which I didn't expect.

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    • Does he sound nervous when you talk to him? What does he do when he sees you?

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    • well he only saw me once. and he was nervous but i just thought it was because we were meeting for the first time in general. then he was eventually not nervous but still pretty quiet. which is why he asked me if he was being too quiet and if it was weird, and i said not at all. But he's not quiet in text though so Im not sure.

      Reply

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