All My Ex's turn to drugs, smoking and alcohol, is it something I'm doing?

I've only had two relationships but both went the same way. I got with a guy who had very strong feelings for me, was into things I was all that stuff. Didn't agree with anything in the title or sleeping around and overall, it was a nice relationship. Both ended as they lost feelings for me. Both then turned to drugs, heavy amounts of alcohol, smoking cigarettes and sleeping around. There is nothing wrong with this, but it's just so vastly different to how they used to be. Both of them also lost best friends due to the personality change and them becoming a jerk. Is it something I am doing wrong?

I have been told it may be because I dated them during transitional periods in their lives (so school to college, college to university) so them meeting new people caused them to change, not being with me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi my sons father ended up becoming a serious addict after we split. So therefore, the answer to your question is one or the other. 1. They had already experimented at some point and he just kept it a secret 2. He is going through a new phase. Regardless there is nothing that you have done that would make them go that way. I guess some would argue if it was a bad breakup where someone ended up truly depressed it would be possible for them to engage in activities.. however, they still made that choice themselves and it is not your fault.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think it's your fault. People tend to change their behavior after a significant loss, like relationships and similars. Some changes may be more radical than others. Maybe it was just two radical behavior changes in a row, so I wouldn't mind too much.

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  • I would say you're spot on about the transitional phase comment, that seems like the most logical and likely answer.

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  • if they had a girl that showed love and apreciated them im sure they wouldn't really be all messed up

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