My dad doesn't allow me to date until I'm 18. Do you agree with him?

I'm 17 years old. My dad always had this anti dating politic. It didn't bother me until I've met a special someone. This guy is a really great and sweet guy. He's a rare specimen those days, if I could express myself like that😂. We've been friends for quite a few time. He even knew about my previous crush (unsuccessful one). Our friendship grew into love (that was kinda inevitable😂).
But my dad doesn't allow me to date and he's really strict. My "boyfriend" wants to impress him somehow, helped us a lot around the house and still does.
My mom also is against me dating, but she isn't that radical.
The rest of my family and his family are totally supporting us.
What re you thinking about this situation?
  • Yes, I agree with your dad
    Vote A
  • No, I don't agree with your dad
    Vote B
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218

Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately, my cat just walked on the keyboard and wiped out my fantastic 2000-character answer. So, I'll cut to the chase:
    1. Get the boy to meet your parents - either at home or at school. If at school, make sure it's dad.
    2. When dad meets the boy, make sure to sing the praises of this boy. Dad is looking for the following:
    A. What does the boy want to do when he grows up? Dad is interested in seeing if the boy has the instincts to be a good provider for you.
    B. What is the boy's family and family life like? Dad is interested in having little drama for you. Dysfunctional families lead to lots of drama for the in-law.
    C. What does the boy look like? Dad is interested in the boy's hygiene AND whether or not he follows fads. Looking clean and conservative is good here.
    D. Dad is also going to try to determine if the boy is a player and what his intentions to you are.
    3. Make sure the boy is courteous and good with mom. I CANNOT UNDERESTIMATE

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    • SHIT I WASN'T DONE.

      It is vitally important that a person gets along fabulously with their "mother-in-law". She is ALWAYS the key. If the mother-in-law doesn't like you, the father-in-law won't hear the end of it. SO, the boy needs give a good impression to mom even more so than dad.

      4. Ask for permission. If the boy is home with you, ask right there after singing the boy's praises and that your folks have gotten to know him. However, they might force you to discuss that privately after the boy has left. If the parents/dad meet the boy at school or somewhere else, after singing his praises, ask for permission in the car. It is best to ask for permission when both parents are present.

      Trust me. I know this.

      Basically though, the boy needs to treat this like a job interview. Imagine you are your father or mother. What sort of boy would you want to see be with your daughter? That's what the boy needs to present himself as.

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What Girls & Guys Said

217
  • Yes you live under your father's roof you should abide by his rules, if your guy friend is really that special he will wait until you are 18. Respect your parents they are just looking out for you, and it is just 1 year, and that does not mean having 0 contact with him for that time, write letters to each other or chat on the phone.

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  • If ur dad is taking care of u u have to listen to him. The moment ur independent u can do whatever u want. Besides ur not old enough to know what a rare specimen is. I understand that coming from a woman who is old enough to take care of herself and has seen the world for how it is on her own. Not from you. There is no dearth of guys in the world.

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    • It's not like I'm going to do anything with this guy (if you understand what i mean).
      Girls are dating from younger ages and I'm already 17.
      I know he's a rare specimen because I've came across to lots of guys who were just hypocrites.

    • Show All
    • You do
      But it's kinda hard to see each other because we don't have the same liberty as if we were dating.
      We can't just go out to dates.
      We can't spend time together as we want.

    • I completely see ur point and I empathize with you. U have third options now. Talk to your dad for leniency which I'm sure won't be fruitful. Second and better option would be to. Hold off till u 18. Third see him without family knowing which is kind of shady but considering all facts ur best option.

  • I am not going to say my opinion, because frankly, it doesn't matter if I agree with your dad or not.
    His house: his girl: his rules.
    Just wait a year. It's not that big of a deal unless you make it one. Hope it works out though, good luck. :)

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  • Dad are naturally protective of their daughters specially with dating. If your boyfriend helps out a lot around the house your dad will see he's a good guy. But you two hang out right? Then what is your definition of a date? It can be anything you want, and anytime you see eachother. Change your definition of date from your father's definition of a date and you can enjoy every one of them without getting in your fathers way.

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  • Your dad making you wait till your 18 is probs the only reason you haven't already been used and abused by some horny good for nothing bandit. You are already on the right course by choosing a guy who would help out around the house to impress your dad, that is potential husband shit right there. Just be patient and if he can also wait till you are 18, then he's a good choice.

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  • I understand that Dads are just trying to be protective but at the end of the day, is it really a good idea to bubble wrap your child just because you are afraid of them getting hurt? I think the better method of going about it is to educate your children about how be safe when it comes to dating and then allow you to gain some experience while you still have the mentorship of your parents available. As for what to do about your dad being stubborn (in my opinion), I'm not fully sure.

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    • My one thing you should not do, is date in secrecy. If they were to ever find out from someone else it would only make matters worse and ruin the trust between you and your parents. My best idea would be to confront your parents in a civil manner and then try to convince them that you are mature enough (if you actually are) to start dating and whatnot. After that it's completely up to them and whether they think you are ready or whatever reason.

  • I think he's reasonable. If I were you, I'd try to reason with your dad how he's different than most guys. He's likely trying to protect you so if he trusts the guy, he may make an exception.

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  • Dads are like that though to a lesser extent usually.

    Unfortunately he is the boss, until you're legally considered an adult, AKA 18. You're 17 now

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  • If you can wait till you’re 18 I’d stick it out. It’s only a year, and maybe you can go on a few dates disguised as “friendly outings” to get around your dad’s rules.

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  • I absolutely don't agree with him.. now you can't date and when you'll be 18 you can have sex every day? It doesn't make sense to me..

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    • I'm not planning on doing it before I'm married because, you know... I wanna finish my studies, get married then have a baby😂
      I don't wanna be "surprised"

    • Well, in this cases there is also a risk to get other "surprises", so.. i don't know, i didn't want to wait until I'm married, but you must do wath you think it's right, so.. ok ;)

  • I'd keep the relationship to myself until I turned 18.

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    • But that's too dangerous for my own life and the life of my loved one😂
      My dad can get crazy sometimes

    • If I were your loved one, I could get very much crazier.. hahaha

  • Love isn't about age. You can take example of the great footballer Lionel Messi. He married his childhood friend with whom he was in love with since age of 12.

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  • I'm just gonna be honest I've been out here a while and when comes to relationships and general decisions there is a special bond between a father and daughter just as there's a bond with mothers and sons where they both think they are helping them make good decisions at the end of the day he has a mindset of he's a man I know what is was like at his age and maybe he's scared of that

    Or

    He wants you to follow your dreams be your own boss and miss independent and don't need a man to give you anything

    However

    I don't agree with his decision due to the fact that your 17 (hopefully I got that correct)😂
    Your need to go out experience life as it is, discover and try new things and see what suits you best experience mistakes so you can learn valuable lessons to someday teach your own children in the future 😊

    This is just my opinion

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  • He's wrong.

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  • You gonna be 18 soon

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  • Yes, I agree with your dad

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  • Yes, I agree with your dad. He is the male

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  • I agree

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  • He's trying to help you by trying to prevent you from becoming a single mom too young. Many, many young women, like yourself, fall in love with guys they think are so manly, and cool, and fun, but they leave the woman high and dry when it comes to raising a child. And it's difficult on the young woman and her parents. Very difficult.

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    • Yes, I agree. It's easy to fall for the trap of a guy when you are young and don't know any better.

    • I'm willing to keep myself until wedding and both me and my loved one agree on that.
      We understand and agree on the fact that it can lead to an pregnancy and we also agree that a pregnancy should be IN a marriage because having a baby is something you should be happy about, not regret

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