Why has it never occurred to 'nice guys' that they're turned down because they aren't giving the 'nice girls' a chance?


Why has it never occurred to 'nice guys' that they're turned down because they aren't giving the 'nice girls' a chance?
This is something that really irritates me. Guys are so quick to judge all women for not giving them a chance and saying they only want men that treat them bad. They claim this is the reason nice guys are single.

But why has it not occurred to these self proclaimed 'nice guys' that maybe they aren't going after the nice GIRL? They say we never give a nice guy a chance but has it ever occurred that you do the same and you don't give the nice girl a chance? Has it crossed your mind that just like some women like the bad boys that you, the oh so perfect nice guy, may be attracted to the bad girl?

Just a thought. I don't get the whole 'women are evil and men are innocent victims' mentality guys seem to have these days like the dating scene is something that they didn't assist in destroying.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Without generalizing all men everywhere, I think there is some truth to this. I can definitely think of a few self-proclaimed “nice guys” who have double standards. The ones I know may not be the most physically attractive, but what really makes them unattractive is they tend to be so socially awkward and argumentative/stubborn to the point I find them very rude and mean. They are so socially inept that they don’t seem to see how their BEHAVIOUR (not looks) drive people away, even if they may be nice on the inside. And then they would go for girls who are more attractive in personality and looks and other things, and get really upset when these girls turn them down (and often nicely). They use this as proof that all girls are bitches who hate nice guys, without ever recognizing and even denying the role played by their own behaviour.
    i know one guy who thinks he is a “nice guy” who is so rude he puts people down when “making a joke”, is arrogant about his academic intelligence, has been boring in every conversation I’ve ever had with him, and chased my friend repeatedly after she very nicely turned him down the first two times. Its like he refused to accept her no and kept texting her and texting her that she became so fed up she became much more harsh
    So to these un-self aware “nice guys” (not men who are actually kind ), why such entitlement that women should just fall at your feet when you have nothing to offer, not personality or resources or looks or excitement etc. I have guy friends who may not be great in the looks department, but they are funny and sweet and charming and exciting so they have no trouble with women and don’t blame the wine who do turn them down (everyone’s rejected sometimes). Even these “bad boys”, while are aweful in many ways, can offer something.
    If the “nice guys” have more to offer, maybe they should show it in a way that comes across as intended, instead of being self entitled and bitter and not taking any responsibility.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you have to understand the competition that guys deal with. Girls get hit on all the time, even on GAG if a girl has an open profile she will get bombarded with tons of messages from guys. She will get annoyed and ignore them which is understandable. Girls get to pick from tons of guys on who they want to talk to and get to know or they close themselves off completely. Where as guys don't get that luxury. From from a guys perspective we see a nice girl but almost every time she goes for the bad guy type or the popular guy type or the hottest guy and it seems like the nice guys are always chosen last. Now I agree this does not apply to every girl but most girls put more priority on other aspects when choosing guys. I'm average looking but I'm a really nice guy but the majority of girls out there don't give me the time of day. If I'm lucky I might find 1 in 50 girls that are attracted to nice guys the rest value money, status, and looks. Not to mention how hard it is to prove you are a nice guy because most girls get hit on so often that when a nice guy does it she just thinks he's another jerk and she blows him off. It's just a struggle for both sides... Nice guys who never get past hello and girls that get hit on so often they say no to everyone unless he's really hot, has money, or is an exciting bad boy.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yep, more men do tend to get upset when they treat a girl nicely and don't have feelings reciprocated. I am tired of men saying "poor me nice guy" when I've seen nice guys turn into assholes the moment I don't reciprocate feelings. 100% the "nice guy" title is purely self proclaimed and hardly true when you hear how these guys describe woman. An actual nice guy would respect a woman's desicion and personal tastes in men.

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  • I am nice girl. i am not attract to bad boys but i am attract to a gamer or nerd of guy. I am more interest in guy personal then his good looks. some of my female fake friends called me weird because I liked different types of guys. I am lucky to found nice guy that is my current boyfriend. it depends on the girl/woman.

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    • What does this have to do with my question?

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    • No leave him alone bitch. he mine now.

    • He mine now. I always be loyal to him.

  • I get tired of hearing this nice guys/girls shit. Nice guys/girls don't finish last, boring guys/girls finish last. 90% of nice guys/girls are actually boring guys/girls, for some reason the nice have been lumped in with the boring.

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  • "nice" girls and guys really aren't that nice... They'll tell you to kill your self after you rejection them or something else which is also stupid like "Bitch I'm a nice guy the bad boys will only hurt you"

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  • Hmm... I would agree with this, but this nice guy has been rejected by so called nice girls all his life.

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  • Um, be the woman he can bring home too Mom but leaves him absolutely spent in the bedroom. Also, don't hold back on the sex. The second/third date should be the limit. The bright side of that is you'll find out real quick if he's good in bed or not. You'll also find out if he's only after sex real quick.
    Today, there's absolutely no shame in women being sexual beings. The secret is out that you want sex/intimacy as much as men do.
    The guy that ends up with a woman like that is TRULY lucky.

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  • Hmm, See. I consider myself a 'nice guy' not being Vain or anything like that. Honestly. Its Six of one half a dozen of the other at the end of the day, can't be just put down to guys, this society has made us all 'equal' why is it all about the guy making quick judgements..

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  • nice guys finish last until the age of 22, when woman want dudes they can spend time with who'll appreciate them... just give it time... and vise versa, tho dudes usually need a little longer time to come to the conclusion that, that is what they need

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  • Most "nice guys" complain but reality a lot of em should blame themselves cause they aren't willing to take the risk of rejection you gotta go to know and sadly they look for the model typed according to the way they look instead of checking they're souls

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  • I agree with you for a part in my life I use to think I'm a nice guy only to realise that I was so wrong about that i just thought being nice can get you laid and I blamed girls but I realised what you said was true but

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  • Sometimes we want what we can have but what we need is right in front of us. We're just too blind to see that.

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  • Is it your position that you are nice and don't get a chance or are you just tired of listening to the whining?

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  • I'm a nice guy , i like nice girls but beautiful ones, that's hard because for women, the sexy beautiful ones become narcisstic and tend to think they deserve more... so they end up alone.. same as good guys... no contentment these days

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  • Lmao... it doesn't matter what the gender is, being nice gets you nowhere. Being attractive does.

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  • All "nice girls" I know, not giving a chance to anyone. They probably don't want loneliness, but I think it's more comfortable for them to be lonely.

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  • Only incels do that, they are not genuine nice guys. Girls like a man not sissies.

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  • 70% rule. 70% of people are idiots. There are many reasons people like or do not like each other. Saying the nice guy thing is a bs excuse.

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  • "Nice girls" are fat.
    "Nice guys" are ugly, and their other attributes don't make up for it.

    Christ with these dumb adjectives. Everybody:
    1. Lose some fucking weight.
    2. Get over yourself. (looking at you THOTs, and dudes who take pictures like this: thecollegian.org/.../...3379-000002F0E7D1EBB9.jpeg )
    3. Be a contributing member of society.

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  • Because the nice girls just want to be freinds too. Always been my experience. I just gave up altogether.

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  • It's the wall clingers glaring into the dance floor.

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  • There is no nice or bad for girls, only and only stupid girls.

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  • guys did assist in destroying the dating scene, no doubt about it, but women have wayyy more sway in that regard. Women have babies guys have maybes lol as the saying goes, and when trust of the opposite gender goes down, guys have more to fear since the woman always knows it's her baby but the guy can't really know for sure. It's terrifying. More girls have 20+ sexual partners than men I guarantee it, although it's true that more men have 200+ sexual partners than women. So with men you have the same bad boys being repeat offenders and with girls a lot more of them slut around but they don't quite stack the same numbers as men most of the time.

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  • Honestly I don't mind being rejected by now, I'm just the same way I'm borderline nice I wouldn't proclaim "I'm nice" people just say that. I've never got a girl and probably won't get one for awhile but to be honest I'm into no bad girls to me at least. I've mostly asked out girls I know with an exception of asking this one I don't know soon. Anyway my best guess is that I just look way older than I'am at 15 and girls assume "oh he's had sex or does drugs a lot which I've never with the exception of marijuana twice.

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  • Well there's a difference between just so happening to be a nice man and being a "Nice Guy".

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  • Half the trouble with man and woman is the man. The other half is the woman.

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  • Lmao the game is currupt nothing as good or bad more like eat or be eaten

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  • Holy shit this is cringy. Please stop.

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  • Hear, hear!

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  • Haha don’t do that... that isn’t true... lol 😂

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  • Thank you. This is what I have been saying.

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  • This post really opened my eyes.

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  • What exactly is a "good girl"?

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  • bu nice do mean fat? ugly?

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  • Nice girls want bad boys

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  • Nice girls like bad boys

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  • Generally men aren't specifically attracted to 'bad girls'. Most guys are attracted to sweet 'good girls' who are going to be wild only for them. Generally in a partner, men like 'sweetness'. This isn't because men are so smart and women are dumb. Men are subconsciously picking women with good mother characteristics as long term partners. Women are picking good genetic fathers for short term, and good actual + genetic fathers for long term.

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  • Here's the deal, guys are meant to go after what they find attractive. So we do. We pick out the best girl of the bunch for all the right reasons (at least the decent guys do) and we make an effort.

    It is our responsibility to be a good man for the woman. Women typically list off XYZ traits of the men they want and find attractive. So the guy will do his best to be XYZ guy. Here's the problem. Women usually don't end up with XYZ guy. They date the scumbag guy from the local bar or the last fun, ratty "cool" social gathering they attended.

    So where XYZ guy does everything right, he still doesn't win because despite women's alleged desires, they repeatedly defy their own word and date the sleazeball that just wants to bang hot girls.

    So there comes a point where women need to accept responsibility for their actions. If you really, truly want a good man, let's see it. Own up to it! And I'll say this and be criticized for being an "asshole, and arrogant", and whatever, "you don't sound like a good guy!" but this is the truth.

    Continue to run from it, try to justify your own faulty behavior, and see where it continues to get you. Meanwhile the XYZ gentlemanly guy is patiently waiting. Fulfilling everything you want out of a man, but he isn't "bad" enough for you, or "fun" enough, or "good looking" enough, even though most bad boy types look gross and dirty-butt and I'd personally never want to be around them and frankly don't like their loud, trashy demeanor, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

    If you want a good guy, live by your word. See the world for what it is, not your twisted storybook fantasies, and own up to it.

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  • When have you ever heard a guy say he wishes he could find a nice girl tho? Nice isn't really something men really look for in a partner, at least not to the same extend that women do. On top of that nice women are even harder to find then nice guys, like unicorn rare. Like guys there is just a bunch women who say they are nice and are actually total bitches.

    The dating scene is totally fucked and honestly there isn't much point. You blame men for the dating scene being bad but from where I'm standing it was mostly women's fault. Women wanted to be like men, they still do. But men don't actually find this at all. So pretty much there are very few women that men actually find attractive outside of there looks. So if you don't care for who the person is because they aren't what you find attractive why date them? Hench why guys now days guys don't really care to enter relationships or to get married. That being said we still find women's bodies attractive so that is why we still want to sleep with them.

    So yeah long story short. Guys don't care about girls being nice. And we don't want to date because we don't find your personality attractive.

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  • There’s no “giving a nice girl a chance” they never get the chance to give them a chance unless the nice girl approaches them, which doesn’t really happen does it?

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  • It doesn't matter because females are always chasing bad boys.

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    • I disagree. Some? Yes. All? No.

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    • Oops wrong forum xD haha
      But still

    • @GD247 Yeah, I was wondering where gold diggers came from.

  • Yes I once turned a nice girl down but this was because I would have felt like an pedofile. She was almost 14 and I was almost 18.

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  • 'Nice girls'. Could you cite any examples of these 'nice girls'? Could you point them out to us? Could you come up with any ways to identify these mysterious 'nice girls'? Because most guys say this because they've been disillusioned about girls who they initially believed with all their heart WERE nice girls, but who still went after the bad boys anyway, because they were more "exciting", "interesting" and "misunderstood". Did we assist in destroying the dating scene? How, pray tell, did we do that?

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    • And the entire irony behind your response is this is what women are saying about men yet we get shot down.

      Oh, and you assisted by being cheating ass wipes who put little to no effort or emotion into starting, maintaining, and nurturing a relationship.

    • And the irony behind your response is that you're doing exactly the same thing that the very worst, trademarked "Nice Guys" would do- generalizing and blaming all men for their lack of sexual interest and affection towards you, in exactly the same way that they generalize and blame all women. Most 'nice guys' aren't cheaters, because they never got a chance to be in a relationship in the first place- who are they (we?) supposed to have cheated on?

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