I am feeling like the biggest idiot on earth. Like it is killing my soul.
Met a guy online, and just feel totally led on for three months straight.
He claimed he was a virgin and waiting for marriage until sex, which I was really drawn to being that I am currently abstaining myself - maybe I am not waiting until marriage per say, but I do not want to have sex until I am in a serious and committed relationship. ( I am not a virgin though.)
So, this was the pull for me. It is really hard to find people who have these values, and I actually felt extremely attracted to him - liked him a lot for this, and other reasons... and over the course of the three months, I fell in love, and actually began thinking he actually might be the one for me.
So - over the three months, some things were really good, but some other things weren't exactly perfect - he was pretty flakey everytime it was time for us to hang out in person. we did end up meeting and even that was like pulling teeth. I guess I made excuses for this, because other than this chemistry was great and I really came to like him a lot. He works overnight, and has a difficult schedule working 6 days a week, which is why i even engaged for so long and made excuses for the lack of time we were actually spending in time together.
We communicated everyday , and spent an enormous amount of time over the phone. Over the course of the three months,
He told me he loved me, and a lot of really intense things - that he was looking for something serious, also.
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I was like WHAT?
he then states he has been "thinking about having sex" and asks me " if i was ready to be intimate."
I said what? NO. that is not what i said i was looking for. I was very clear that I was looking for a life partner, and abstaining until I was in a serious relationship.
He says, well that is what he is looking for now. SEX.
I Was just totally speechless, and pissed off. but in the moment - i did not show it.
Initially when he told me, I tried to be understanding. thinking well okay, he is a virgin, and sexually frustrated and changed his mind within the three months. maybe he wants to do it with me, or whatever i don't know. but i just feel DECEIVED. i just dont think if you have spent your entire life r
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You have the right to feel that way cause he lied or changed his mind.
I'm sorry that happened but you got a good lesson that took me 6 months to learn. Which is look for red flags and run when you see them.
Kind of the same thing happened only I still have to see her sadly.
It is so hard to find some one who has the same values, faith, and love language.
I dated a girl who could not show affection and who did not like to get it yet she said that she did. Also she did not have the same values that she claimed. She had her own twisted ones that she tried to force on me and make me sound like a fool for not thinking how she did.
It hurt me deeply but we had to break up after she got weird talking about getting married and having my kid. Four months latter I'm over her but she still puts herself in my path and I still see her at church constantly. In my young adults group she makes sure I can always see her and she sits across from me. She lies regularly about our relationship and scares all other girls away from me.