Is there anything there or should I just leave it?

I'm single and I've worked with this girl for about 8 or 9 months now. I personally find her very attractive and my friends have even made negative comments about her looks when they've seen me working with her, which usually makes me annoyed because I completely disagree.

Long story short, she already has a boyfriend and they've been together for 3 years. I've only met him a handful of times but he's always very dry and ignorant towards me and I usually catch him glaring at me, especially when I'm making her laugh like crazy while he's shopping and were working together.

When I say laugh like crazy I mean we get on really well. I always throw cheeky playful insults at her and can see her smiling and trying to hide it. She fires back at me and it's a back and forth kind of thing but it's all in good fun. We are always joking around and together twice someone else had made a comment that we fancy each other. When they did that, even though I secretly do fancy her, I said "that's fuckin disgusting" and she almost hit the floor laughing so hard.

We work 7hr shifts twice a week with each other and i finish an hour before her one day and she finishes an hour before me the other day and each time we avoid taking our break until the other person leaves because we'd rather just hang out while working instead of taking a break up in the boring canteen. We even get pretty sulky if one of us is off on holiday for one of the shifts and the other person has to work with someone else.

If either of us are in shopping or working separate shifts we will go out of our way to come over and have a chat and usually get told off for laughing around or distracting the other while their at work. If we see each other anytime we aren't working together and can't get a chat we will wave and usually laugh.

I've a mad crush on her and I'm just not sure if she feels the same or just thinks I'm funny and likes the company in work. Sorry if that was a long boring read. Any advice?


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  • Leave her alone she has a boyfriend if she leaves him then it's fine but you don't touch a guys girl ever

    • Leave her alone? I haven't done anything wrong? Idiot.

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    • No it's not, I just know what it's like to be the boyfriend in this scenario and it's unfair

    • Nothing I have done is unfair.

  • Sounds like an emotional affair but at the end of the day, she won't leave her boyfriend. It's likely she will get what's missing in the relationship from you (the emotional side), and then continue banging her boyfriend (sex side).

    This is why I adopted a rule of not giving women that have bfs my emotional energy, time etc. All you are doing is giving her your energy and helping her relationship succeed (ironically). You need to be mindful of your actions and not on auto pilot due to urges.

    • Sounds of it you’ve got woman ALL figured out huh

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    • Most important detail missing her view point, which depends on the individual

    • @FreshStart_2018 Here's the catch with not allowing onself to become emotionally invested in women that already have a boyfriend, the ego does not like it one bit! This is why the vast majority of guys will not be able to resist the temptation. They (ego) will defend their position, rationalize, claim it's harmless or label it as friendship. It's similar to flirting with the taken I think.

      It took a whole lot of effort to be able to resist women that already have bfs but that do not set any boundaries and the more I did it, the more they pursued me.

      However, once it's done, then a sense of freedom arises because you are no longer a slave to your urges, or anothers lack of boundaries. That's how I see it anyway, everyone has a different angle.

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