I am worried that part of the reason that I'm not having success with women is because they don't see me as the kind of guy they can just have fun with. I am not interested in an endless stream of hook ups, but it would be nice to find a girl who was willing to have an quasi-monogamous friends with benefits type arrangement.
How can I stop giving off this super committed vibe, while also keeping things classy?
Most Helpful Guy
"How can I stop giving off this super committed vibe, while also keeping things classy? "
If i try to think about the guys women would describe as "too serious," it'd be the guy who is sensitive, attentive and emotionally ready to open up. While in the women brain they think "this is what i want but why am i not attracted to this guy?"
- It's great you can connect with women on this level however... i don't think women will admit it but they do like the man's man guy. Even if they complain endlessly that he isn't this or that enough yet... that's the guy they go and fuck.
Advice to you is not to "become that guy" but be more okay with the things you want and not what you think they want.
- what i mean by that is.. what do you want from women? do you really like to connect with them emotionally, listen to there shitty stories or do you want to bone them or go and DO something and sit around and talk.
In my early 20's, i remember listening to women and doing/being the guy i thought was the "good" guy... which yield the same "friendzone dude." Late 20s, i started to be more okay with "nah, fuck that shit" which then yield more success. I would just start out with a brief convo and then being forward.. if she's not having it then it's all good If she is? Then we get to go bone or at least start dating. OR if she doesn't want to, maybe her friend will be interested. OR fuck all of it who cares?
Good luck !
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Most Helpful Girl
Either you are a player by nature or you are not. It sounds like you are a decent guy with a respectable career path or future prospects, since those are the kind of guys women tend to want to settle with. However, it doesn't seem like you possess the charisma, looks, or suave personality to make women want to sleep with you sober.
You sound like a nice guy, but you don't seem to be a player.