Mom making me choose between boyfriend and her? What do I do?

I’m leaving out a lot of details and am making this story short:
When I was 17 I started a long distance relationship with a boy who was 19. After a month of is dating, I told my mom about him. She went ballistic. She beat me, gave me death threats, threatened my boyfriend’s family, temporarily disowned me, and at one time she only called me “slut” instead of my actual name. Fast forward two years later, my boyfriend and I are still together and my mom still doesn’t approve of him because he’s white. She has met him and talked to his family, and I have spent a great deal of time with him and his family. Recently my mom and I moved into the slums, away from our family and home-state to live with her abusive husband. I got a new job, but before I started my job I wanted to visit my boyfriend (we haven’t seen each other since March), this is when my mom gave me an ultimatum. She said if I visited my boyfriend I will be getting kicked out of my stepdads house because he doesn’t want me with him... my stepdad has never met him and refuses to. She said “it’s me or him”. I talked to relatives in my home state and they said I could live with them. My plan was to visit my boyfriend then work all summer to save up for a car, then attend university in the state he’s in (since it would be close to him and my mom). What do I do?
My mom has basically made my first relationship hell. Everything from using GPS trackers to track me, beating me, saying she’s going to put a voodoo curse on me, wishing death on my boyfriend, threatening to kill herself. This is too much. For anyone wondering, my boyfriend has done nothing to my mom. He has even drove 15 hours just to meet her last year. She pretended to like him and then proceeded to cuss me out and hate him the minute he left our house. She’s also been lying to my stepdad about my relationship, she has him under the impression that we’ve ONLY been talking online. She doesn’t want him to know that we’ve met. Should I just leave?

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23

Most Helpful Guy

  • Try to know your mother's problem with your guy
    If you found them irrelevant try to make things clear
    If they are relevant try to forget your boyfriend
    Second
    Think
    Is your boyfriend financially, emotionally capable to handle you
    Could your life
    Do you think he will love enough that you will forget your mom
    If answer is yes
    Think about it
    You have spend 19 years with your mother
    But this is about you 69 years ahead
    So apply your mind and take decision

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok a straight answer is yes do leave but have a few backup plans. Like what happens if you break up. How will you support yourself...

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What Girls & Guys Said

12
  • "What I do is my choice, and you liking it isn't a requirement"

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  • Close the door on her and walk away.

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  • Yes go live with your other family

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