Texts and pictures found in my boyfriend's phone.. How to approach this?!

My boyfriend and I have been dating about 6 months now, he's always been upfront abt things in the past (girls that call or text him) or so I thought. One situation is this 'friend' that his been pretty upfront with me about, that they did have a little crush on each other in the past, but she's been married for several years so it was never going to go anywhere anyway. They've stayed friends for several years now.

So last night I had an awful dream that I looked through his phone and that I found a lot of awful things with other women. This was A DREAM. However, when we woke up this morning and he got in the shower, I couldn't stop myself from looking at his phone. There were the usual messages from said friend, which I already know she texts him hi and by and all of that, BUT I also saw a picture from her in a lace thong. : / So clearly that crosses the line. I need to ask him about this because I can't get it out of my head and I need him to know that I'm not okay with them continuing this type of communication. He can tell her to stop if he wants to stay friends. So that's the big one. I also found some flirty texts with other girls that I don't know of. Asking for pics and things.. I know he likes pics of girls (duh) but I was surprised to see it on his phone from real people, which I consider different than the random p*rn on the internet. (not a big deal to me).

OKAY so here's the question, since I looked in his phone and saw all these things, how do I bring it up? I know that he will get angry about me looking, so I'd like to avoid bringing it all up if possible and just have a conversation about his relationship with this friend and how lines need to be clearly drawn. I can ask him if she talks to him sexually or sends him pics, but what do I do if he lies?!? I already know its there and I'm sure its happened many times before. So how do I handle it if he says no, when I know its yes? And, if I want to know what's up with the other girls I saw the flirty texts with, I'll basically have to say I saw it in his phone, or ask to see his phone then and there, to which he could refuse. I don't think his cheating with those flirty girls, I think its just entertainment, which I do think we can all be guilty of at times. But, One was someone asking to meet him last week though, and I kind of need an answer on that. (agh did he? If so, who is she, and what happened when they met up? And old friend reunion that he forgot to mention or worse?) Basically, is it worth saying I went in his phone to get answers about that, or just overlook the flirting and bring up the main problem of this 'friend' that I think needs to accept she's married and act only like a friend to him from now on? I'm afraid that if I don't put it all out there, then I'll continue thinking about it and start to really not trust him. it could be simple flirting, but if I don't ask I'll never know! How do I handle the fact that I disrespected privacy and looked at his phone?


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  • You need to talk to him about this because this is not OK. screw violating his privacy. he disrespected your relationship

    • Yea.. I've gotta talk to him. I broke up with my ex over something similar actually! Caught texts in his phone and straight up broke up with him. But he was talking abt sex w girls and I thought was probably acting on it too. So I was done! This one is just like flirty type stuff, not actual sexual comments and nothing about sleeping with anyone... So I'm more willing to hear his side of the story and talk it out. Hope he will think things through instead of just flipping out about his phone..