He wanted to friendzone me "and see what happens". I refused. Did I do the right thing?

I will try to make this short. I have been talking to this man who met me on the internet for 5 months. We live in different states. Both of us are financially stable. At first, he was contacting me every 2-3 weeks. When we talked, he seemed to like me, but then he would disappear. Finally, I got frustrated and said I will talk to him when he is ready to make me a priority. I thought he will stop talking to me after that, but he didn't. He actually started talking to me more often (on the phone and through messages). I thought things were going well, we were making plans to meet. One time he didn't reply to my message, and I became upset about it. He became angry and said things should be blissful in the beginning, and there is nothing but drama. Many times I told him that I cannot fully and accurately express myself through messages and phone only, he needs to see me to get to really know me. I told him that it is taking me some time to develop trust because I've never met him in person. I apologized for being upset with him, said that I believe there are a lot of good things between us, and I am willing to work on any issues that I have. He continued criticizing me. I wanted to stop the drama and said "If you find that you like me enough to forgive me, I will be happy. If not, I wish you the best". He thought about it for a day and then said "I think we should be just friends for now and see what happens. I hope we still can talk". I replied "Sorry, but no. This tells me that you don't like me enough, and that is not attractive to me". He replied "Ok then. Bye". I said "Best wishes", and we never talked since. I felt that I was strung along for long enough, it was wearing me out. If he really liked me, he would make a step towards me. Any thoughts?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You did the right thing, and I'm glad that you were strong enough to just say bye, especially before anything go too serious. He didn't sound like he cared much or respected you enough to meet and actually talk, which seems fishy to me, I just hope that you're okay, you will find somebody that you won't have to ask to try and work things out with, they will do it because they genuinely care. Good for you, he sounds like a right jerk! He will soon realise his loss! Chin up you sound like a smart lady :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh boy. The wavering, string a person along guy. Forget him. Really.
    His actions seemed odd enough to cause me anxiety while reading it!
    There is no need to be friends with a person like that.
    Easy to say, but try to put it out of your mind, and move on with new confidence. Lesson learned from this guy.
    You did the right thing.
    Good luck, and please don't contact him. It'll be just more ridiculousness.

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What Girls & Guys Said

03
  • Yes you did the right thing. He probably just didn't want to invest the time because he only wanted one thing. Your a beautiful lady so his loss. Congrats on standing your group. Feel good about it.

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  • You did the right thing because if he loved you he would stay even if you got angry with him and if he agreed readily to just stay friends it means that he has someone else

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  • He regrets you
    So move on

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    • Thank you for your reply. I didn't completely understand. Did you mean he regrets talking to me or he will regret losing me?

    • Sorry mistype

      Rejects you
      So move on...

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