Is it bad that I have such a high and specific standard for the guys I like?

I literally will only consider someone if they are cute. But they HAVE to have a good personality. Otherwise I’ll disregard them. I’m not being stuck up or anything, but I hate how people say “looks don’t matter” when we’re humans and are physically attracted to what we like. Plus everyone has a different taste. For me, it’s 6 ft tall, nice jawline, preferably lighter eyes, (but brown is adorable too, green is adorable), dark hair, nice nose/bod (abs), must love animals/kids, has to be caring/funny/generous, religious and accepting of other people. Do not tell me I have a double standard, I DON’T. And if you’re going to sit here and tell me that I’m probably ugly , I’m really not in other people’s eyes. And my personality isn’t either. So don’t judge me for having a preference.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nothing wrong with preference or standards, its actually helpful and easier to have a concept of a good partner, just dont get hung up on them.

    You may find a guy who meets 7/10 but will be an excellent partner.

    Its never black and white, and in fact, its the various shades of black, gray and white that form a true loving bond and attraction.

    My only preference are men with dark (or light) longer hair, taller as I am tall or same height.
    Pretty flexible about personality, like him a bit more heartful and emotional.

    Im not bound to this though, and have discovered a lot of what I really like in a guy through dating guys outside of them... not holding so firmly to some fairytale perfect man.

    He does not exist.

    Married couples work through a lot of differences, sacrifices, changes and compromises in love.

    You see, our bond in romance is like raw iron.
    We have in mind what item to make, but it requires a lot of work in the forge.
    Lots of heat, distress on the metal, experimenting, beating, grinding etc.

    Then it becomes something perfect and beautiful.

    Nowadays, a lot of us can't take the forge, so love fails, or we struggle to find a good match, unaware that our own iron nugget is still raw and rigid.

    In English lol - dont be tooo picky lol

    Im still rolling down the mountain, lookin for some raw nuggets to forge with ha ha

    The guy in the picture is just a concept of what I feel strongly attracted to, but Im sure Ill probably end up with a short, short shaved blonde guy, because you just never freaking know lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope not bad at all. I don't want to be with an ugly girl. I'd only want a cute one plus she has to have a good personality... lol I myself am not the best looking guy but I'm not ugly at all and I take care of myself. I don't want to wake up to an ugly face. Looks and personality matter to me. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than be with some ugly chick that I don't truly love.

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    • I agree with you! It has nothing to do with being stuck up

    • Yup it's called knowing what you want and not settling for less.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1327
  • You can have whatever standards you like, but that means you need to be prepared that it's not easy to find the person who matches that standard and even more difficult to find a person who matches your standards and you match theirs.

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  • I dont judge, I have "strict" criteria like yourself, however the only problem with doing so is that it can be hard to find potential partners, though luckily i dont have that issue. its good that you have standards like this as they will help you maintain a good relationship after the first 2 months

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    • I’m not trying to be shallow, but I really want a long lasting relationship. I don’t wanna get bored ya know? I’m obviously not limiting looks to that of my description, but that’s ideal

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    • yep, but hopefully theyll understand when they are older, like we have right now. Best of luck for your life and have a good day!

    • Thanks ! You too!

  • You've got it right on the nose. Everyone is allowed to have their own tastes. And if you don't have an attraction to someone why would you bother ( at least when looking for a relationship)

    That being said don't trap yourself into a type. I think you'll find if you give someone a second look at least you'll find that your 'type' will be more leniant

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    • Nah I don’t have a “type”. I just like dark hair and pointy noses 😂 something familiar you know? I have dark hair, a tiny nose, brown eyes. It’s more familiar

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    • 😂😂it’s like saying I’m racist for preferring my own race, ya know? i find beauty in everyone, but many people aren’t as adventurous & prefer their own

    • I personally live for adventure in everything. But I have a comfort zone I like to go back to sometimes.

      I'd urge you to occasionally say fuck it and try something but never feel bad for enjoying something right?

      Good on you for that level of self realization

  • Listen to lower your expectations by bo Burnham
    Not only is it an absolute bop but I think it's relevant in your situation.
    But really, I think preferences are fine and if you find someone with all of that go you, but you shouldn't dream up a completely ideal person, because a lot of people have flaws and it will just end up breaking your heart.
    In the words of hannah Mon- fucking-tana "no bodys perfect" so uh yeah that's my two cents. 😂

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  • I am all of the above. And I have a beautiful wife. Lucky me.

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    • why do I feel like you’re being sarcastic?😂

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    • Best reply in here. Wish id have done it first, lol. No pic though, she may not appreciate random pic drops on a site with this many trolls..

  • No you're fine. If all girls would have low standards then there would be only fuckboys in the world. Thank you for don't being a slut ❤️ this makes this world a little bit to a better place

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    • Awww thank you my love! Best answer here !! I’m saving my love for the perfect guy.

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    • 😂goodnight, no she isn’t!! She’s my history teacher

    • Oh history is cool 👌🏼 one of my favorite subjects after maths and economics.

  • Nope it can't be considered as bad. I encourage people to express their own opinions and views. Your standards might seem high for some people and normal for others. You have to live as you feel it not on others opinions otherwise you will spend your life waiting for them 😊

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  • Depends on how many guys u get with those standards and if it are enough for you. I don't see a problem here if u are also as good like you say. And you are right looks so matter. Everyone who tells something different is just not grown up. But character does also matter and often if the character is really good, it makes a person more beautiful on the outside too.

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  • High standards are good sometimes, but remember to give chance to those who you feel like is not your type

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    • I mean of course the other person should be physically appealing and this is the first thing you will see but after some convos this will be less important.

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    • where I’m from (Québec & France), many guys look like that though. It’s very easy to find, but the personality is what matters.

    • Keep your head up, I personally believe in fate and that everyone should find someone who is meant for them

  • No - just means your dating pool is a small, shallow one

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  • Sounds to me like you’re really stuck up and don’t value important aspects of a person before you date them.

    Humans are just that - humans. They aren’t fucking handbags or Build-A-Bears that you get to pick and choose to your liking. You’ll never find someone who truly loves you when you can’t love someone for who they truly are and quite frankly, I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to be with you.

    Also, don’t sit here and ask people not to judge you and criticize you when you are LITERALLY sitting here on an app designed for people to give their opinions, boasting your shitty, superficial opinions and hoping people will say you’re right.

    It’s people like you that are wrong with society. Live with it.

    Men are men. Not clay sculptures that you can shape to be whatever you want. Want a man like that? Drop a few thousand on a realistically made sex toy.

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    • Reread my question. I said both PERSONALITY and LOOKS matter. You don’t even know me personally, so don’t be quick to judge. I am In no way shape or form “stuck-up.” How about the men who love curvier women and don’t prefer skinny girls?

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    • Damn you're getting really defensive. Can't you just accept the fact that TheUltimateHermit is right? You don't seriously think that you can just tick a bunch of boxes and mail order a highly specific partner from Amazon, do you?

    • @SwagsMcBags Did I just not say it’s my IDEAL guy? doesn’t mean I won’t expand. Chill out. But the personality aspect is what’s most important.

  • Be as picky as you want just don't assume you deserve such a specific guy. Girls when I was in my late teens/early 20s tend to be the ones who are now complaining that there are no more good men left, so there's that. I mean I'm not saying you should go with someone you don't fancy but that's the downside.

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  • Not at all. Shallow is nothing more than lacking depth. If you know the reasoning behind your standards (ie: nice abs = gym goer = shared interests, etc) then you're no really so shallow. People who claim physical attraction doesn't matter are fooling themselves, in my eyes. And physcial attraction is so strongly influenced by unique qualities like past history, where you grew up, whatever... that you can absolutely have a specific type. Things out of a guy's control like height, tho, are things I would suggest CONSIDERING looking past. As long as your standards don't prevent you from ever considering a guy who doesn't exactly fit your mold, at least you can say you use your brain and heart rather than an arbitrary set of rules.

    Long story short... don't lower your standards. You may be single longer, but you'll be better off in the end

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    • :) i think i found the MHO

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    • Yeah I'm an idiot. New to this and didn't realize they use the term on the app... you should still Urban dictionary that acronym

    • Most helpful opinion !

  • You must think highly of yourself if you want that much.

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    • Opposite actually. It’s just ideal, it’s what I’m attracted to. I can’t change my attraction standards can I? I don’t make that decision. I’ve seen cute guys who don’t fit that standard ya know? I might change my mind along the way

  • Your standards are quite strict. Would you meet similarly strict standards laid forth by the average guy? If so you can get away with it, otherwise reconsider.

    To clarify, it's not wrong to want these standards, but for your own sake, you have to [brutally honestly] consider how realistic it is that you will be able to likewise attract a guy that meets your own standards.

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    • It’s ideal, but then I’d rather be single if he doesn’t meet these standards. Religious is def a must though

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    • The religious requirement is understandable, I will add

    • I’m almost 18 and heading off to college this fall

  • Why are you alrdy defending yourself, when none here haven't even had the chance to say anything?
    But in the subject.. It's not bad. It's neither right, nor wrong. It's your choice to make. It does make you miss some people tho. But on the plus side, you can bend the rules all you want.

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  • U choose who u wanna be with. Nobody actually has a say in that. So to answer your question it is not weird.

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  • People have preferences. You odds are based on your tall order and how attractive you are. If you think you have good chances, keep it up, don't give up. If it's Abit low, well

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  • No, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You’re attracted to that type of person and you can’t change that.

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  • EVERYONE has the right to be as choosy as they want. I say good for you. It takes determination to set limirs, and follow them. It is also comendable; as long as you are kind, and direct, and never misleadfor personal gain; that more accepting, open minded, and less shallow women can have more chances out there, because men aren't wasting their time pursuing someone approachable, ie... you. Thanks.

    You do not have the right to tell us how to perceive you though. You are vain. You are shallow. You do hold a double starndard. You do have every right to be. Really. I'm not saying it makes you bad, or ugly in any way. It is you, and that's fine. But know this, you also have the right to be lonely.

    Ps. I fit your description, and some, with the exceptions of religious, and six foot. I'm 5'10", spiritual, not religious. It's my hope that you come off as judge in person as here, so that i would reject you...

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  • I don't think so. We all have the things we prefer and things we look for in a potential partner.

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  • No... there's always a give and take between quality and quantity and as we all know quality is better :)

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  • Nope, I think it's natural coz u like n admire them.

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  • People say looks don’t matter must be ugly. And I believe there Same just they know how to hide it we’re one people point there fingers look there the bitch.

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  • Is there actually a question here? It seems like you've already made up your mind, so why ask it at all?

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  • Personality always comes first for me but you need to be find the person attractive for a good sexua relationship but everyone is different

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  • If you can land guys who meet your standards it’s not a problem. If you can’t it is. For you.

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  • No its not bad everyone has standards but what if the one meant for you come along and he doesn't fit your standard physically? Just wondering

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    • Depends honestly. It might change. I’m not TOO shallow, but there’s gotta be attraction somewhere

  • You're vain from the sounds of it. Nothing wrong with it but you seem to be denying it a bit.

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    • Meh looks is just an ideal thing. But everything I listed in the personality aspect is a MUST

    • Naturally everyone has their ideal partner. Everyone is vain to some degree or another. The answer to the question of it is a bad thing or not is it a random person walks up and talks to you would they get a chance for their personality to show or would you just keep walking. Your ideal partner bar is set pretty high so odds are anyone on the street will fall below it.

  • "accepting of other people"

    Yeah... about that.

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  • Where do i sign up? :p

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  • Your standards don't sound that crazy tbh..

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  • Not at all

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  • Yes u hoe im a nice guy fk u

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    • Learn the definition of a hoe😂

  • It’s pretty standard that everyone has an ideal bar they set for themselves, we can’t help what we’re attracted to. I’d say your personality requirements are what will mostly determine it. If you met a guy who was good looking but not your usual type who had the personality you desire, you’d be surprised by how much you’d like them! And that’s not a bad thing. I’m convinced this will happen at some point as it does to list of us. But yes, there’s zero wrong with having a ‘type’ but most importantly, never compromise on personality values.

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  • Which zodiac sign are u?

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  • I don't know whatever floats your boat. I am fine with having stamdards. But being okay with whole life without sex you are gonna make someone unlucky very unhappy one day. Tbh your take and opinion makes you sound like a firm Christian who thinks homo sapiens and homosexuals are same.

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    • 😂I support LGBT rights

    • So I’m not that strict

    • I’m not against sex, I just won’t have it until I’m married.

  • Nope, not bad. It's just a natural thing to have your own preferences

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  • Why don't show yourself?😊

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    • I don’t trust the internet

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    • thank ya, you too

    • Thanks to you too.

  • I think you're free to have whatever standards you want. Just don't be a hypocrite and shame men for being shallow themselves.
    When a girl has requirements men on height, jawline etc.. she has zero right to talk badly about...

    a guy who only dates much younger women. Guys that find wrinkles, stretch marks to be a turn off and therefore date women 20, 30 years younger.

    Guys that only date girls with big boobs, round butt and curves.

    These are just some examples. Don't be a hypocrite and shame men for anything and its all good

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    • Nah I don’t shame men for that. Everyone has a preference. I don’t mind guys wanting a curvy body either.

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    • Then its all good

    • I don’t tend to judge people based on their choices. I know there are people who really love to get under other peoples business

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