What would you do if your boyfriend ran a dossier on you?

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about five months now. We had a unique situation when both our mothers were in town at the same time so we had a get together. I noticed how his mom was asking very personal questions of my mother and myself. A few days later, my boyfriend confessed to me that he put his mom up to asking us personal questions so that they could know as much as they could about us. His mom is a lawyer and she apparently dug up courtcases on me from my parents.

I feel pretty violated. I expected this type of behavior from his mom bc parents are protective but I´m livid. My boyfriend said that he was trying to find an excuse for him not to commit to me (as in, moving in with me) and now that he realizes that I was telling the truth this entire time, he wants to work on committing to me so that we can move in. His mom apparently got too involved and promised not to interfere again which is concerning. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO THINK. How can I move past this? I do love him but I feel like this is unacceptable. I have done nothing that would lead him to believe that I can´t be trusted. I´m loyal, respectful, and loving of him. Why would he do this? What is he playing at?

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  • Just write a formal letter using formal wordings with respect and just explain how immature the act of digging up your families past is and that in more than one way. it also makes you question his families background if his mom was that nervous that she felt the need to research yours. Is there stuff that you should know before continuing on with this relationship. As they know now a lot about yours its only fair at this point you get the equal level of info and that if this relationship is going to suddenly be so translucent it may as well go both ways.

    And just conclude it that you think this was a gross abuse of power and you hope this never occurs again much less another incident happens. And both parts of this relationship get cold feet.

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