Why is it men's first instinct to lie to "not hurt your feelings"?

For example, when a guy says "I'm not ready to date" but then days later he's posting about a date he's having and blah blah blah about this girl, why is it first reaction to come up with some lie to "not hurt your feelings" rather than be completely honest that they're not interested in dating you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It isn't just a man thing. Men and women do this.

    In some cases it's done to avoid a scene, as some people react very poorly to being rejected. In other cases, it's done truly out of compassion, as they feel that it takes the focus off the reality that they aren't into you. In many cases, particularly with young people, it's just befuddlement, not knowing what to say.

    I'd say it isn't a good idea to go drilling into someone to find out why he/she isn't into you. If *MANY* people aren't into you, then it's worth trying to figure out why because in most cases you can make positive changes.

    Try and understand that for some people, it really is difficult to hurt other people's feelings.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Women do the exact same thing when having to reject guys that they aren't interested in. The reason that people do this is because they feel guilty and they don't like to feel like bad people, nor do they like awkward situations. It's not always easy for decent people to tell someone that, basically, they're just not attractive to you. So people lie.

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  • It's not so much an instinct and more that we know women are more emotional and if we were just blunt about things it could be taken the wrong way or misinterpreted or they'll overreact and it would just cause unneeded drama and stress.

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  • Cuz you girl have said that you cannot handle rejection... so
    That why

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  • Would you rather take an answer like : " you're ugly and I thought that we have a connection but we don't and I don't really like you "
    Or have a slow rejection?

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  • I think it's more of an asshole move not to tell someone straight up. I think it has to do them being "little bithes".

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  • Because we want to come across as nice. This will most likely be either because he is afraid of judgement or because he likes you.

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  • Because "girls are precious and they don't deserve the truth" which I think are absolutely bullshit.

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  • It's just an awkward conversation to have. Women do the same thing all the time.

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  • he's a real keeper

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