Boyfriend nearly tried to stick his hands down my shorts?

Let me explain first.

I've been dating my boyfriend for 7 months. He’s made positive impacts and he’s respected me until this thing he did today. We were at my colleges parking lot. We were just talking about moving out and our family etc. we were having fun. All of a sudden though he puts change down my shirt. It was a button down (the ones that button down on the bottom) I didn’t think it was funny so I told his to stop and it wasn’t funny. He said okay as he laughed and stopped. At this point in the relationship, j don’t mind if he touches my butt. He’s never done it in public though but instead he put his hands down my shorts to feel my butt.

I pulled his his hands out and told him that wasn’t okay either and I didn’t care if there wasn't other people around. (It was nearly empty). He did stop, and we just went on about our convo. After I got picked up, I thanked him for the food and taking me out to the movies and also reminded him to not do that again. He hasn’t responded yet.

My boyfriend usually respects me and knows not to do that in public. Did his brain shrink all of a sudden?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you are overreacting he just felt like doing that in the moment and I think he is hurt too about your reaction
    maybe he thinks doing things like that in public is not a big deal if there is noone around, plus its more exciting yet you reacted like he tried to rape you... talk to him but consider his feelings too

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He was trying to take the relationship to the next level. Touching your boobs or butt. Being a man he is horny. Sometimes we dont think things all the way through. You need to explain that you felt uncomfortable with that. Explain what you are fine with. If you dont nip it in the bud he could escalate to touching your v.

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    • I understand that. weve had sex already. I’m horny too
      I just figured that in public is an automatic no? he's even said that to me so I was condfused and alarmed

    • He must have forgotten that public is out of bounds.

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What Girls & Guys Said

213
  • I'm not sure what your question is. It sounds like he was just teasing as well as trying your boundaries. It doesn't seem like he was trying to be disrespectful. He's just a horny guy they are going to push a bit just to see how far they can get. It doesn't mean that he isn't respectfull of your wishes. He is just hoping to you've changed your mind.

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  • You've got to figure out boundaries. If he doesn't know how should he find out?

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    • i guess I figured putting your hand down a girl’s pants should be an automatic, social norm, for no?

      Who does that it public? Even if there’s nobody around at the moment?

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    • Okay. Thanks for helping me understand! :)

    • Its what im here for. And the only reason I figured it out was becaused i messed up just like your guy did. A lot. I just made sure i learned from it

  • After 7 months of quite a limited contact he just made a next step. Clumzy, step, yes. But he stopped when you told him to.
    I would say it is a good indication that you two should discuss this next step together.

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  • He definitely didn't mean any offense by this so he might be a little bit embarrassed, but I think you should definitely stand your ground if you're uncomfortable with that kind of thing. You have to respect his boundaries and he has to respect yours.

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  • Maybe he felt a bit more relaxed around? How old are you guys?

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    • We are 20.

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    • Thanks dude!

  • After 7 months of dating you should have discussed sexual matters with him. However, if it isn't discussed, he should not have done that without your permission.

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  • He's been going out with you seven months and he's not allowed to touch you?

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    • He’s allowed to touch me but put his hands down my shorts in public?

    • I guess key word here is public. I’ve never heard of someone putting their hand down someone’s pants in public. It’s a bit much

    • Why not? It's fun. I've fingered women in public

  • Had you guys been drinking? That may explain it a bit, also he might have just wanted to test boundaries and what was ok, I don't know if it happens again it might be an issue

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    • No we don’t drink. I just kinda figured he knew that boundary I guess.

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    • Okay well I guess now I know. So unless it happens again, I shouldn’t worry much and let it slide?

    • I think so, seems like an ok dude, and you should trust your own judgment

  • You have a right to demand respect from your boyfriend.

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  • I thought it was basic manners not to do anything sexual like that in public. lol

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  • What's your question here?
    No... his brain didn't shrink

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  • He just wanted to have some fun but u denied so he may be annoyed

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  • Okay, so why are you dating the guy?

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    • He never pulled anything stupid until now. Previously he’s shown me respect. Always has.

    • Either way you two are clearly not on the same page. You either don’t communicate your needs with each other or you don’t listen to each other.

  • 7 months, have you had sex yet?

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  • I probably shrank 7 months ago

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