If a girl approaches you, would you consider her as "desperate"?

I've been raised to never chase a guy, that he will "come to me" instead. But where goes the line really?
The line of being desperate and chasing someone?

What do you guys consider as desperate?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, double standards shit. Guys seem to be the most desperate ones if you ask me. I mean, think about all the pathetic sleazeballs who try to pick up chicks at a party with a very sophisticated "hey baby what's shakin?" As long as you make it clear to him how you feel on your first try, and if he does not respond enthusiastically, then just let it go. If you approach a guy multiple times, then you appear desperate.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Approaching someone you like isn't desperate, it's confident. Desperate is when you are will to sacrifice your morals or self esteem to make someone like you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

254
  • I think it's good when a girl approaches a guy- it shows that she knows what she wants and isn't afraid to get it. She also get his attention and doesn't waste time waiting for him to figure it out and approach her. A woman that does this would impress me greatly and I'd probably ask her out on a date.

    To me, she is only desperate when she goes out with a guy who does not treat her with respect or uses her and doesn't dump him.

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  • To answer the question, no.

    On a side note, ever seen women complain that they only meet dickheads?
    Because if this. The guys with the most confidence are going to talk to these women. Even if some guys would come and talk to you, if they see another guy get shot down who they deem more attractive than themselves, what hope do they have?

    By being forward and chasing you are more likely to find what you are looking for and helping unenforce might not be the right word) gender stereotypes.

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  • No, but it all depends on how she acts. Like if she is cool and funny and great then no why would she be desperate? We all are humans we all want to communicate with one another. So no, girls who approach guys don't have to be seen as desperate.

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  • Depends on how I'm approached and what I'm being approached for. Only women consider other women desperate for approaching men. Women tend to have a REALLY skewed idea of how men actually think. We really like the straightforwardness and some of us like to be in control of things. It may be off putting to those that want to chase if you approach them, but all men are different.
    I consider someone dying, bleeding out in need of a blood transfusion pretty desperate.

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  • Not at all! Just pick the guy carefully, a good guy won't take it as desperate at alllll but an arsehole might try to use how much you like them to manipulate them, but ultimately that could happen regardless of who asked who first.

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  • Nope. It's 2018. A girl approaching a guy is completely normal. I actually got approached today of all days!

    The dating arena tends to be kind of bad for most men between 20-25 and most tend to actually appreciate a girl making the first move - trust me on that.

    Desperate would be texting a guy 15 times in a row begging for answers about whether he likes you - or something along those lines.

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  • I wouldn't consider a girl desperate if she came up to me. Would you consider me to be desperate if I came up to you? That "guys chasing girls" precedent is old and bad. If a girl wants to be with a guy (and the guy is feeling mutual), then they should be allowed to be together without feeling "desperate". The only way I would consider a girl desperate is if I already told her no, but she continues to pursue me.

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  • Only if she ditched her friends for me, and within an hour of meeting me was hinting that she wanted me to take her back to my place and fuck her. Then barely speak a word to me the next morning before awkwardly leaving. Yeah, she was a desperate slut. Otherwise it's fine.

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  • Here's the thing if you think the guy is worth it why not ask him out even if it makes you look desperate?

    Cause guys always gets that feeling that they look stupid or might seem creepy, but they do it anyways because he likes that girl.

    Obviously there's genuine creepy guys out there that just asks everybody out, but for those that are not it takes guts.

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  • No id admire her for being straightforward i like a girl who isn't afraid of getting turned down it means they have confidence and its attractive

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  • No, I only would turn down someone I wasn't attracted to. Doesn't matter if they're desperate or not. To me desperate means someone way out of my league asking me out. If you reach out to someone you think is attractive and they don't have the same opinion of you then it's just perspective.

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  • I like it this way: if you want a particular job or career, you put in the effort to get that. Same thing for anything else.
    If you like a guy, put in an effort to let him know. He either feels the same or not, but at least you tried.

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  • I agree with the others here. Girls should have no problem approaching a guy. It's 2018. We need to break the whole guys ask girls first. There's nothing wrong with girls asking guys. In fact, shy guys like myself would love it if girls approached them.

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  • No, not desperate at all.

    "never chase a guy"? Well, I'd say this. That's fine to prefer to let the guys approach you and you can stick by that but I'd say anytime you actually have an acquaintance you know that you are developing a crush on or feelings for... there is this ONE guy you really want to approach you than you may have to tweak that rule.

    You can try and "help" him notice you by being friendly to him or trying to give him "signals" but if he doesn't respond than you should tell him how you feel. It's better to make a move than to always wonder about it or have regret.

    The person who has actual feelings for someone else should always proclaim their feelings to find out if the other person possibly feels the same way.

    Of course this doesn't apply to just causal attractive and meeting strangers but it applies to situations where you know someone and you may really like them but keep it to yourself out of shyness or a "he must approach me" policy.

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  • I think if you always wait for a guy to come to you
    , you may possibly muss out on Someone you really would like to get to know because you are waiting for them, go for it guys are just as nervous to talk to girls as girls are to guys

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  • No, I wouldn't. It's in how someone approaches you that you determine whether or not, if that's even appropriate to determine at all.

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  • Thats not desperate, thats just a girl having more balls than some men up there lol

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  • no. as a guy, I fucking love it when I am approached. it's such a confidence boost for a shy guy like me. don't ever doubt approaching the guy first, just don't seem desperate

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  • The fact that a girl is sitting alone wearing makeup and all dressed up shows the fact that she is desperate. It's just that some action on it and other loser chicks sit and wait

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  • Hmmm. I consider it as her being a player... but also a woman who knows what she wants. Every girls that approached me. Was extremely easy to get in bed too.

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  • Not at all. I wish girls were more open to make a first step or at least do not deloberately hide that they like you.

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  • Unfortunately with all the "sexual harassment" and other stuff going on it makes it difficult for men to approach women since rejection is no longer the worst that can happen.

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  • Keep it ambiguous as to weather its a real date or not. Less pressure that way.

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  • Nah, just surprised cause I’m not all that by any means

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  • Desperate will be more like tring to talk to every boy and flirting with all of them... if ypu like someone just go talk to him

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  • What.. no I wouldn't, I'd just be surprised, it would be very nice

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  • Continuos approach inspite of being rejected is something I would consider as desperation

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  • Lol she would be for sure, if she only had the option of approaching a pile of crap like me.

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  • Well, if she approached ME out of all men, then yes.

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  • Its desperate, women should wait to be approached and take their pick of the men interested.

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  • it's not really a useful term

    a person likes you. are they dateable or not? that's all.

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  • Not desperate at all. It would actually be a welcome sign

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  • Definitely not, I think that it would be nice for a girl to approach me for once

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  • No its the only way i would know her to be intrested

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  • Not at all. I think confidence and a girl knowing what she wants is sexy.

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  • If a guy can "chase" then a girl should be able to do the same

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  • No I will just assume she is desperately wanting attention

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  • no way i love a girl to come to me its more like Fate

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  • No... But that won't happen even in some other parallel universe. 😓

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  • I don't mind it at all if she chases

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  • Yes.

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  • Haha

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  • No, not at all

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  • Not at all

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  • Not at all.

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  • No... I will be happy by knowing that she loves me

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  • Nooo

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  • Worse

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  • No. Guys will like that you approach them.

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  • No i find it sexy i see confidence in that

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