Should couples have to know where they’re at all the time?

I have two friends in my group. We are all in a committed relationship.

The other day my relationship was brought into conversation cause I mentioned my guy friend gave me a ride to school. Then my guy friend brought up “where’s your man at right now” I said “I don’t know” and they looked at me like I’m crazy

they mentioned you should always know. It could build trust. Then my friend Alyssa told us about how her boyfriend was annoyed that she was asking where he was at all the time.

Do you honestly need to always know though? I feel like im living under my parents home “tell us when you leave home, when you get to college, when you’re out of classes” holy crap. It’s s but much isn’t it? Id be happy to be honest with him but I don’t feel like I need to check up

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on the relationship and the situation. I've lived in dangerous places and we'd keep tabs on each other just in case some shit went down. Trust issues could be a reason to do it as well... like we all know what happened when they get that joint facebook account. The only question on our minds is "which one was it that cheated?"

    If you're in a safe place, not exposed to danger, and trustworthy... I wouldn't bother keeping track of where you're at. Now if cheating or the possibility is in the picture... changes everything. Thugs in the neighborhood that like to rape... changes everything. It just depends.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, but if you're living together, I feel like that's a little different. I don't necessarily need to know my boyfriends every move, but it's nice to know where he is/what he's doing so I can plan around him (if I need to make him dinner, if I should be polite and wait for him to eat, if he planned on coming home by a certain time for an evening together or am I free to spontaneously hang out with friends, etc). Communication is key in a committed relationship.

    Personally I rarely ask where my boyfriend is/what he's doing if we don't live together. I just don't care about that level of detail.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2637
  • No, that's stupid. I think the only time I really should know where he's at if he is leaving the city for more than a day. He can update me if he feels like it, but I'm not the type to ask about it.

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  • I don’t always know. He’s a grown man, not a toddler. He can go where he pleases.

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  • Wanting to know where your partner is all the time is a sign of insecurity and is recognised as a controlling behaviour. It doesn't build trust, it actually encourages dishonesty. A healthy relationship is when the two of you are comfortable enough to not need to know exactly where the other person is all the time - which appears from what you have said to be what you have...

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  • I don’t really ask where my SO is (unless I’m asking to see if he’s busy so we can meet up/help me with something), however, usually if I’m going out or my SO is, we usually just tell each other naturally. We don’t really ask; there isn’t much need. I just assume is he’s going out, he’ll mention it, and vice versa.

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  • No. I couldn't bare being in a relationship where we had to know the precise location where each other was all the time. I'd feel like a prisoner out on bail whenever I went out somewhere lol

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  • I think it's perfectly fine to not know at all times exactly where they are. It would be good to know the general area and the time that they will be there just in case something happens. Nobody is crazy if they don't know where someone else is. We're all adults here.

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  • No they dont because thats like they are not trusting each other and the day they dont know what each other are mak8ng that will cause a figth because one of them will think some one is cheating... all person need privacy My opinion

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  • If you trust your partner then you should know that they will stay with you and you should know they wouldn’t cheat, my partner lives 350 miles away but I don’t ask where she been every time, most the time she tells me where she is anyway

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  • Its part of building trust if you dont know where he is that could build more trust than constantly knowing where he hangs out which could lead overly protectiveness or extreme jealousy (had a relationship where when she didn't know where i was she would go crazy about it)

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  • It would do the opposite of building trust. To build trust you have to be comfortable with the fact that you don't know his whereabouts, you have to be okay with it, rather than be uncomfortable with it and keep asking him where he is

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  • No. I know he is working and we tell each other what we have been up to at the end of the day. He is currently on holiday with friends who he goes with each year. I don’t ask him where or what he has been up to each day. I trust him.

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  • Asking builds trust? I assume it breaks it off more than it builds..
    But I don't think you should limit each other on what you're allowed to do either. Let each other be where ever they please, to a certain extent of course.

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  • If someone needs to know where their partner is constantly and needs constant updates, it shows they have control issues and want their partner on a leash.

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  • What if you want to throw him a surprise party? What if he wants to have your best friend help him shop for the perfect engagement ring for you? There are times and places you shouldn't be in the know.

    Yes. A GENERAL idea is good and warranted, for safeties sake and out of respect. You prob shouldn't be going to cancun without giving him the heads up. But everyone needs me time. And i shouldn't have to call my biyfriend everytime i need to poop to ask permission or everytime i swing by the yoga studio.

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  • No, it is unhealthy in my opinion. Everyone, even when in a relationship needs some privacy or alone time.

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  • There is definitely no trust there. I would like to know when she would be home and when not. And I like to know where she is because I would be I treated in her life but don't have to know that ahead of time.

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  • I think it's fine to want to know what they're doing, and is respectful when they tell you where they are going. Too many problems can pop up in this world and it would be nice to know where to start looking if you needed to.

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  • It's called being a control freak.
    It's called "not trusting".
    I find it abusive.

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  • No. That sounds overly possessive to me. May be if you don't trust your partner, but other than that I would say no.

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  • That's true it's like he doesn't trust you or something., it's probably annoying too. Yes couples should not feel the need to check up on each other all the time or know where they're at.

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  • no we all need a private your friends are a bit different from anyone I know needing to know where each one is all the time no trust if you ask me.
    sorry i'm not wanting to judge other peoples lives

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  • i think i'm a good relationship you can have a general idea of where your significant other is but you should have enough trust to not need to know their exact location

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  • No, no, no, no!!! Don't listen to your untrusting friends. Knowing where someone is at all times dies not build trust it does the opposite. Trust is not having to know what your partner is doing or where they are all day long. Those that say they always unless they are tracking them with GPS, their SO is just telling them what they want to hear.

    You two are happy right? Don't let your stupid, immature friends put doubts in your head. Their doing that because they have doubts and Relationship issues so they want you to also.

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  • I think it's important to tell them the jist of your day, but not every damn thing they did or every damn place they went.

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  • yah if both of you are immature enough or doesn't trust eachother...

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  • Big problem of social media.. Bigger problem of insecurity, but at times that sort of passion can be admirable.

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  • No you shouldn't, try to respect your partner's privacy

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  • It is not possible for anyone to know where someone else is 100% of the time.
    Real love doesn't need to, since it contains trust and respect.

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  • No but don't be secretive about it either. They or you shouldn't constantly pester about it as well.

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  • What about talk with each other? And make it clear, mostly when people checking up so much.. They are afraid their partner gonna cheat.

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  • I think letting your partner know where you are is a form of respect for each other

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  • No. And it is slso important that they look out for otherd, that deepdns their relationship.

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  • You don’t need to know. If you can’t trust your partner, you shouldn’t be dating them.

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  • No. Unless you live together, there's no reason to be a controlling freak. And you're only dating.

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    • Even if you live together

    • @SecondGuy Well, certainly don't need to be a control freak. But it would be a good idea to keep track of each other, in case something bad happens - when living together.

  • In my opinion you can always tell your partner where or when you're going on your own accord.
    Knowing where the partner is, is a kind of security for many and they become very much happier with that in mind.

    But of course it's not always good to go around asking your partner where he or she's going. You must not go into complete detail of everything that's around the partner, but it doesn't hurt to know where he is in general, like "I'm in school. I'm at the supermarket. I'm out with friends" and stuff like that. Like what if something happens to someone and one of the 2 people don't come home or something, it might be good to know then.

    Well sorry for maby going a bit out of track there.. but I guess you get the picture 😊

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  • No, not at all people should have their personal space.

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  • No that's not fair to each other men/women fear you cheating but they need back off

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  • Have to, no. But if they ask, it shouldn't be pulling teeth

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  • No, known where your partner is all the time it gets annoying.

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  • I think couples should know. No reason not to.

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  • No, that's really insecure...

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  • No, that's suffocating

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  • No. They dont have to

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  • Nope

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  • Yes they need to know where they are at...

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  • What is a relationship except trust and feelings?

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  • no way. its a little too clingy in my opinion

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  • Nope. You don't need to know

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  • In a healthy relationship you don't need to.

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  • Oh god pls no

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